Paging Sara Sidle
by scubysnak
Summary: An unexpected visitor for Sara leaves the CSI crew with a lot of questions especially Catherine. CS eventually ch 76 up...Epilogue too. FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own 'em...though I wish I did! And if I did...the fun I could have!!!

_CSI Sidle—You have a visitor in the reception area. CSI Sidle—a visitor in the reception area._

Nick and Warrick looked at each other in stunned silence.

"Did they…" Nick started.

"…just say…" Warrick continued.

"…that Sara had a visitor?" Nick finished.

They nearly knocked each other down trying to get around the evidence table so that they could see whoever this was that was visiting Sara. They opened the door to the lab they were in and stuck their heads out.

Down the hall, Sofia and Wendy had a similar reaction. "The receptionist must be hitting the booze pretty hard these days to screw up and sat that Sara had a visitor." Wendy laughed at her own joke.

"Yeah, I've been here a few years and she's never had a visitor—not once," Sofia held up one finger and then put it down. "Not one."

Just as Warrick and Nick were doing down the hall, Sofia and Wendy were moving quickly to one of the many glass walls in DNA hoping to get a peek at Sara's visitor.

They all held their breath as Sara walked by. She walked toward the reception area and all four stepped into the hallway and towards each other. They pretended to be involved in a conversation regarding a case, each taking a turn at looking up to spy on the dark-haired CSI and her guest.

They took note of how her gait slowed as she got closer to the reception area and recogniszed her guest. The woman waiting on Sara stood up and walked toward her. She extended her hand to Sara, but Sara only crossed her arms over her chest and assumed the position.

"I don't think she's happy about whoever that woman is," Warrick said.

Sofia looked at him and agreed. "That's definitely the _Fuck You_ stance that she does so well."

"The woman is really hot though," Wendy offered. When she noticed everyone looking at her, she threw her hands up in the air and said, "What? I've got two eyes."

"Well, she does have a point," Nick said. "That lady is hot. But who is she?"

As Nick said this, Greg and Catherine came walking toward them discussing a case that the pair was working on.

"Who is who?" Catherine asked as they joined the oglers. "And what are we all doing standing in the hall?"

"We're trying to figure out who Sara's visitor is," Warrick said.

Greg moved to the side of the group so that he could get a look at the woman they were all looking at. "That's Julie." Greg turned and walked back toward the break room to get some fresh coffee.

The remaining five people in the hallway watched Sara walk out the front door with her guest before turning to follow Greg.

"Greg, how did you know who that was?" Catherine asked him.

"How do we ever really know who anyone is?" He looked at give frustrated faces. "Sara introduced me to her once."

"Well, who is she?" Nick pressed.

Greg grabbed his coffee and turned to face everyone. "If you want to know who she is, ask Sara. If she wants you know, I'm sure she'll tell you."

"Don't holdout on us, man." Nick was pleading with him, but it was useless. The former lab rat wasn't going to tell them anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I was putting the finishing touches on a B&E when the receptionist put out an announcement that I had a visitor in reception. Me? A visitor? Who in the world would be visiting me?

I started toward the reception area and couldn't help but notice Nick, Warrick, Sofia and Wendy watching. They were probably as shocked as I was to hear that I had a guest. I'm sure that whoever it is will be the topic of conversation for the rest of the shift.

As I got closer to the reception area, I could see who my 'visitor' was—**Julie**._Fuck!_

"Sara! Hey babe!" She held out her hand to me. I didn't take it. Instead, I crossed my arms over my chest and stood firmly.

"Julie, what are you doing here? I work here. I told you to never come here."

"Babe, take it easy." Why does she insist on calling me babe?

"Don't call me that," I said to her through gritted teeth. I noticed that the receptionist was paying us more attention than I was comfortable with. "Let's take this outside," I said to her as I held the door open.

Once in the parking lot, the niceties were over. "What the fuck are you doing here, Julie? You're never supposed to come to where I work. You. Know. That."

"I tried calling you, but you must've blocked my number or something. I need your help."

"My help? Now you need me?" How could she come to my workplace and suddenly tell me she needed my help. "Why don't you ask that slut for help. She was really good about 'helping' you the last time."

"Sara, that's over with. This is about Allie."

"What about Allie? Is she okay? Where is she?" I started scanning the parking lot for Julie's car. When I saw it, I practically ran toward it.

I flung open the door and was met with a loud, "Mommy!" followed by a squeal of delight.

"Hey my baby girl," I said to her as I pulled her out of her car seat. "What are you doing here, sweetie? Did you come to visit mommy at work?" Was too busy giving her kisses to notice Julie grabbing bags out of the car and sitting them at my feet.

"No, mommy. I come to stay with you!" She said as she clapped her hands together and squealed again.

"To stay with me?" I asked as I sought out Julie's eyes.

"Mama said she had to go somewhere far away and can't take me. SO I get to stay with you now, mommy!"

I put my little girl back in her car seat and said, "You sit right here for a minute. Mama and mommy need to talk." I shut the door and turned to Julie, "Care to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"She's better off with you. She needs to be with you. Take her. I'll sign whatever I have to sign—just take her."

"Julie, I can't take care of her. With my job, I'm hardly ever even home. I don't know anything about raising a kid, either."

"What about your friend Catherine?" Julie asked.

"She's hardly what I would consider a friend. We barely tolerate one another."

"No, I mean you used to come home talking about her little girl. She's got a kid and the same job you do. She managed. You will, too."

"Why are you doing this? You love her. Why do you want me to take her?"

The moment she pushed her sleeves up on her shirt, I knew why she wanted me to take Allie. She was using again. She must've seen me looking at her arms because she pulled her sleeves down and averted my eyes.

I grabbed her arm with little protest from her and pushed her sleeve up. "Are you using again? Are you using around Allie? Fuck!" I bent down to grab the bags at my feet and decided against it. Instead, I opened the car door, picked Allie up and said, "Give your mama a hug and kiss. Tell her bye-bye." The precious angel in my arms did as she was told and then wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.

"Meet me at the coffee shop tomorrow to sign the papers."

"How can you get them so quickly? And you're forgetting her things."

"I had the papers drawn up two years ago when I found out you were using then. And I'm not forgetting anything. I'll buy her new things." I turned and walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

"Was that a kid with Sara?" Catherine asked Greg as they walked toward the Denali.

"Yep, sure was. Now I see why you're a senior CSI. You have very astute observational skills."

"Don't be a smartass, Greg. It's not becoming. And who is the kid? I assume you know her name."

Greg looked at her before continuing. "Her name is Allie. Anything more than that, you'll need to talk to Sara about."

"Why do I get the impression that you know a helluva lot more than you're letting on?"

"Cause I do! Look, Sara's my friend. I'm not comfortable telling her secrets. If you want to know, ask her. And if she wants you to know, she'll tell you."

Catherine was busy navigating the streets but was reluctant to give up on this conversation. "How do you know so much about Sara? She's a walking enigma! No one knows that much about her!"

"I wouldn't say 'no one' Catherine. I obviously know more about her than you do. And it's probably because I try to be her friend instead of trying to prove how much smarter and better looking I am."

Catherine was incensed and felt like the last comment was directed at her. "I do not have to spend my time proving I'm better looking than her. I concede the smarter part—she did go to Harvard. But the better looking? I win that hands down!"

"Cath, you're an attractive and sexy woman. Every one knows it. But you have to admit that Sara is beautiful, too. Anyway, you two compete for totally different spectators."

Greg realized that perhaps he had said too much as soon as the words flew out of his mouth.

"Damn right I'm sexy and attractive. But I am a little too old for you," Catherine said with a wink at the younger CSI. "Wait a minute. What did you mean that we compete for totally different spectators? Whose attention is she trying to get?"

"Leave it alone, Cath. I've said too much as it is. Just talk to her. Sara really is an open book. If she wants you to know something, she'll be happy to tell you. But please, quit asking me stuff about her. You're really putting me in a bad position. You're my friend. She's my friend. But I cannot betray her trust. It takes a lot for her to trust someone, but once she does, well, she does. And I don't want to lose that trust."

"Greg, all I'm doing is asking you to tell me who the woman with Sara was and who the little girl was that she had with her. I don't think that's too much to ask."

"Yeah, well, I do. Like I said before, ask Sara and she'll tell you if she wants you to know."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Alright, think Sara. Julie shows up here with Allie and wants me to take her. Of course the fact that she's using again makes it a much easier decision. First things first, get inside with Allie and away from Julie. Let's start on our mental list, Sidle.

_--Talk to Grissom about taking a few days off—starting today. _

_--I have to call my lawyer and pick up those papers for Julie to sign and find out if there is anything else I need to do._

_--I have to take Allie shopping. She needs clothes, a place to sleep, and, uh, I don't know what else._

_--I should buy a book. Surely someone has written a book about what I'm supposed to do. Maybe that's the first thing I should do. Well, the first thing after I talk to Grissom._

I walk through the doors to the Crime Lab and straight toward the break room. Sofia is sitting there reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. She looks up and smiles at me as I enter the room with my little girl on my hip. "Hey, Sof. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What is it?" she says to me as she puts her coffee and newspaper down. "Hey, who is this beautiful little girl?"

"I'm Allie," my little one has never been particularly shy.

"Can you watch her for a few minutes? I need to talk to Grissom about something."

"Sure," she says to me before extending her hand to Allie. "Maybe you can help me figure out the answers to this puzzle in the newspaper," she said as she picked her up and put her in her lap.

"Thanks. I'll be right back."

Sofia looked at me and smiled. "Take your time. I love kids."

His door is always open. Why is it shut? I knocked twice before he finally told me to come in. He wasn't alone. Ecklie was there.

"Grissom, Ecklie," I said as I nodded my head in greeting toward each of them. "I, uh, need to take some time off. A few days—starting today."

"You've got enough days to take off as many as you want. Plus you're maxed on overtime. I don't see a problem with that. Exactly how many days do you want?" Grissom replied.

"Hold on, Grissom. See, this is exactly what I was talking about. Your people walk in and tell you they need time off and you just give it to them. We're running a lab here, not a boarding house. People cannot come and go as they please," Ecklie was lecturing Grissom before he turned to me. "Sidle, you're supposed to give notice when you need time off. I won't approve the time off. Grissom spoke out of turn."

I felt my blood beginning to boil, but before I could say anything to Ecklie that might have cost me my job, Sofia was standing in the doorway with Allie. "I think she wants her mommy. At least that's what she's been crying since you walked out of the breakroom." I could barely hear Sofia over my little girl's sobs. I picked Allie up in my arms and turned back to Grissom and Ecklie, who were both sitting there with eyes like saucers and their mouths hanging open.

"I have a family emergency. Now, do I get the time off or not?"

They both continued to sit there in silence until I said, "Well, do I? One way or the other, I'm taking a few days off. It's up to you whether I bother coming back here when I'm done." I turned and walked out of Grissom's office leaving the two men with no one to stare at but each other.

Sofia followed me with her eyes for a moment before tagging along behind me toward the locker room. Allie's crying had subsided and she had her tear-stained face lying on my shoulder.

"Wait! Sara? You have a daughter?" she asked me.

"Yeah, I do. And look, no one knows about her right now. I'd like to keep it that way until I know how to tell the rest of the team."

"Yeah, uh, no problem. Was that your sister? Your nanny? Uh, what I mean to say is who's been keeping her while you work?"

I froze. Moment of truth. I'm about to come out to a coworker.

"My mama keeps me, silly." Out of the mouths of babes!

Sofia just smiled, blushed a little, and said, "Oh. Well, call me if you need anything. You do have my number, right?"

I merely nodded before grabbing my things out of my locker and walking towards my car.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

"Did Sidle just have a kid in here calling her mommy?" Ecklie looked more confused than usual and was hoping that Grissom might be able to shed some light on the issue. Of course, Grissom was still staring at the spot where Sara had been standing. "Grissom? Gil? Did you know about this?"

Gil looked at Ecklie and smiled. "I had no idea that Sara had a child. But I'm sure there's a perfectly logical and reasonable explanation as to why we didn't know about it. Can I assume that you're okay with her taking the time off now? Neither of us bothered to respond to her before she left."

"I don't understand how you can work with someone for years, Grissom, and not know that they have a child. Do you know anything about your people?" Ecklie was hitting a nerve with Grissom now.

"I know enough about my people to recognize that this was something Sara was uncomfortable sharing with the rest of the team—myself included. Come to think of it Ecklie, I don't see you strutting around here with someone on your arm or a child in tow. How much do we really know about you?"

"Point taken, Gil. Look," he said as he stood up, "all I'm saying is that we should have known that Sidle had a child. There's nothing in her file about this and there's no next of kin listed." Gil gave him a strange look which resulted in Ecklie further explaining. "This is my lab. I've read all of your jackets. I need to know the people working for me."

"Correction, Conrad. This is the city of Las Vegas's Crime Lab and the only reason you know anything about Sara or the rest of my team is that you've been looking for ammunition to use against us since you took over this lab."

"You're right. She's on your team. You're responsible for her. Deal with her however you want," he said as he was walking out of Grissom's office. Grissom had just lowered his head to continue his paperwork when he heard Ecklie's voice again, "But as soon as you find out why she didn't tell us, give me a call."

All Grissom could do was shake his head. Just as he was getting back to his paperwork, once again, he was interrupted.

Nick and Warrick were standing in his doorway looking extremely nervous. "To what do I owe your visit, gentlemen?"

They both tried to enter the door at the same time and nearly became wedged in it. Grissom couldn't help but think to himself how much they looked like two stooges doing that. The boys stopped, and Nick allowed Warrick to enter the doorway first. Warrick was the first to speak, "Grissom, what's the deal with Sara?"

"I'm sorry fellas, I'm not sure what you're referring to. Could you be more specific?" Grissom was doing his best to evade giving any real answers to their questions. After all, it wasn't his place to do so.

"Gris, don't play dumb with us. First she has a visitor. Then she brings a kid in here. Then we find out from Sofia that Sara's taking some time off. What gives, man?" The Texan wasn't into playing games and didn't like it when their supervisor, of all people, did.

"I'm sorry boys, but I'm not at liberty to discuss what's going on with Sara. If she was to come in here and demand information about the two of you, I'd be remiss to give it to her. I suggest that if you want information about Sara, you try asking her. It's what I'd tell her to do if she wanted to know about either of you."

Suddenly, Warrick turned to Nick, "Hey man, let's go see if Sofia will tell us anything else."

They both turned and left Grissom sitting there in his office, surrounded by his bugs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

"Sofia! Our favorite detective!"

She put her hands up and said, "Don't even bother. I'm not telling you anything."

"Come on, Sof! It's not like we're gonna run off and tell everyone! Who was Sara's visitor?" Nick started.

"Yeah, and who was the kid with her?" Warrick finished.

"This is getting old, really fast guys. Listen to what Greg said. If you want to know something about Sara, ask her yourself." She turned around only to find herself face to face with the topic of conversation, Sara Sidle.

"Sara—I thought you had gone already." Sofia said, softly smiling.

"I thought I was, too. But there's this funny law about having to put kids in a safety seat. And I didn't take the one that Julie had in her car. Can you get me one from the PD until I pick one up?" Sara hated having to ask anyone for anything, but when she considered that Sofia already knew her _little secret_ it didn't seem to be such a big deal to ask for her help.

"Yeah, sure. I'll go get one now." And with that, Sofia excused herself and left to go and retrieve a safety seat for Sara.

Sara stood there in the break room with Allie's hand planted firmly in hers. She wasn't quite sure what to say to the guys, so she walked over to the couch and sat down. Allie crawled up in her lap. Nick and Warrick were still just standing there with goofy grins on their faces. Sara looked up at them and smiled.

She looked down at the little girl in her lap, who was now burying her head against her.

Finally, Nick walked toward them and kneeled down in front of them and said, "Who's this pretty little girl you have here, Sara?"

Allie turned and looked at him, smiled, and then turned back and buried her head against Sara. "Allie, there's no need to be shy. Turn around, sweetie. Let me introduce you to a couple of people."

Allie was clinging to her. But she forced her to turn around. "Allie, this guy right here," she said as she motioned to Nick, "is Nick. You can call him Uncle Nick. And that tall good looking guy over there," she said motioning to Warrick, "is Uncle Warrick."

"Now that we've been introduced to her, how about you introduce us to her."

Sara sighed heavily and thought to herself, _here goes nothing._

"I'm Allie and this is my mommy!" Once again, out of the mouths of babes.

Sara just smiled and gave Allie a kiss on the cheek. "Yeah, what she said."

"A kid? Sara? Were you married and we didn't know about it?" Warrick asked.

"She was married to my mama, silly."

Usually very articulate and never at a loss for words, Sara was having a very hard time talking and echoed her earlier statement, "Yeah, what she said."

"Married to her mama? Are you g…uh, you know?" Nick pressed. "Not that it matters, but are you?"

Sara knew that if these were really her friends, they wouldn't care one way or the other. She had worked with these people for six years, and yet, none of them really knew anything about her.

"Yeah, Nick, I'm gay."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

"For how long?" Warrick asked her.

"Man, that ain't cool. You can't ask her how long she's been gay," Nick interjected. "But seriously, how long?"

"Guys, I don't really see how this is important or relevant."

"It's not. I'm just curious though. We've worked together for six years, Sara. I didn't have a clue. Did you have a clue, Rick?"

"Nah, man. Didn't have a clue. Especially with that whole crush on Grissom thing. What the hell was that all about if you are a skirt chaser?"

"Let's not forget the deal with Hank, too," Nick said and Warrick nodded, both of them turning their attention back to Allie. "Shoot, is it okay for us to be talking about this in front of her?" Nick said as he pointed at Allie.

"Yeah, Nick. She knows she has two mommies and no daddy. She may not know all of the words for it, but she knows enough. And to answer for your first question, I guess I've always been gay. And as for your question, Warrick, I thought it might be easier for me to appear a bit more 'hetero' around here. San Francisco and Vegas are worlds apart when it comes to tolerance. Oh, and I am not a skirt chaser."

"No offense, Sar. I just meant that you prefer women to men. Hell, I do, too!" Nick laughed at his joke. He was the only one. Warrick shot him a look that silenced his laugh immediately.

"I think that's cool, Sara. But we've never seen you with this little one. Why now?" Warrick asked.

"Long story, Rick. Maybe another time." Sara sat there with her little girl in her arms patiently waiting for Sofia to return with a safety seat for her.

After a few minutes of just sitting there, Grissom walked in and said, "Warrick, Nick—DB at the Tangiers. Get going." He looked down at Sara and said, "Do you want to talk—about this?"

She looked down at the girl in her arms and said, "Not yet. But thanks for the offer."

"You do understand that your coworkers—including me—have a lot of questions for you."

Sara put Allie down and taking her hand in hers, stood up. "All people have to do is ask. I'm perfectly willing to talk with my friends about anything they want to know about." With that, she walked out of the lab hand in hand with her little girl. As they were walking out the door, Sofia was pulling up.

"Ah! Here you go. Keep it as long as you want. We have about a dozen of them at the department," Sofia said as she handed the seat over to Sara.

"Thanks, Sof. I appreciate this." Sara started to tear up as she put the seat in her car and strapped Allie in.

"Sara, uh, are you okay?" Sofia hated to see the brunette upset.

Sara looked into her eyes and started crying. On pure instinct, Sofia moved toward her and wrapped her arms around Sara. She pulled the CSI into a tight hug and whispered calming words to her. "This is a lot for anyone to take in and deal with. What exactly is the deal with Allie and you?"

Sara sighed heavily. "What time do you get off today?"

"I'm off already. Why?"

"I don't have very many friends—none actually—that I can trust to help me with this. Would you mind—uh, coming home with me?"

"Sara Sidle inviting me home with her! I never expected this to happen. Wished maybe…but not expected."

Sara blushed. Was Sofia flirting with her? "I just need someone to help me with all the 'kid' stuff."

"Sara, I'd love to, but you know this isn't my strength. Why don't you ask Catherine? She already has one. I'm sure she'll know exactly what to do—what to buy."

"Catherine and I aren't close like that. I can't ask her to do anything like that for me. Nevermind, it was a silly idea to start with," she said turning her back to Sofia and climbing into the car. "Thanks again for the car seat. I'll get it back to you tomorrow." With that, Sara shut the door of her car, started it and drove off.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I was on my way to my lawyer's office—Allie in tow—when my cell phone rang. _Catherine Willows_. "Great," I saw out loud.

I flipped open the phone and said, "Sidle." I was thinking to myself, _why is she calling me?_

"Sara, I hear you need some help." She was trying to be nice. I wasn't used to this.

"I don't know who told you that, but…" I couldn't even finish my statement before she cut me off.

"Knock it off, Sidle. I'm not sure exactly what is going on. That's your place to tell me if—if you ever want to. All I was told was that you are going to be keeping a little girl and needed some help, uh, shopping and things like that. I'm offering my services." Leave it to Catherine to cut right to the chase.

"I appreciate the offer, Catherine. Really, I do. But…"

Catherine cut me off. "Great, I'll meet you at your apartment in an hour."

"Fine. Wait! How do you know where I live?" _How did she know where I lived? She'd never been to my apartment._

"There's a lot about you that I know, Sara Sidle." And with that, Catherine hung up, leaving me confused and bewildered. _What does she think she knows about me? If Greg told her anything, I'm gonna skin that punk alive!_

"Mommy?" Allie called from the backseat.

"Yes sweetie."

"Are you mad that mama left me with you?" _How could she think that?_

"No sweetie, mommy is not mad! Far from it! Mommy is very happy that you're going to live with me now. Why would you think that I'm mad with you, sweetie?"

"Cause we ain't been to your house. Are you gonna dump me on someone?"

"Do not use the word _ain't_. It makes you sound less smart than you actually are. And I'm not dumping you anywhere with anyone. I wouldn't do that to my baby girl! And we haven't been to our house because we have to do something first. A friend is going to meet mommy and help her pick some things out for you."

"Another friend? You sure do have a lotta friends. Are any of them pretty?" My little girl was so sweet—and too grown up for her own good.

"What do you know about pretty girls?"

"Mama says that the pretty ones are the worst ones."

"Well, your mama has a point there. But you met my friend Sofia. She's pretty. Does she seem bad?"

"No."

"And you'll meet Cath in a little while. She's very pretty." I need to change the topic. The last thing I want to be talking about with my little girl is Catherine. Especially since this little girl has a knack for saying things I don't necessarily want her to say.

I pulled up in front of my lawyer's office and pulled Allie out of her safety seat. We went into the office and met with my lawyer. I had the papers drawn up a couple of years ago when I first found out that Julie was using drugs. Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew that the day would come when Allie would need me to be more than a _weekend mommy_. I never expected it to be quite this soon. I had always assumed that it would be later on, during her teen years.

My lawyer handed over the papers and showed me where everything needed to be signed. It would have to be witnessed and notarized. But I could find almost anyone to do that. We took the papers and headed back toward my apartment. I only had a fifteen minutes before Catherine would be there.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Sara Sidle certainly is an enigma. She's been working here for years and I apparently barely know anything about her. Yet, Greg, our lab rat turned CSI seems to know more than anyone else. And the little punk is getting on my nerves by telling me to ask Sara when I want to know something. Why can't he just tell me?

We were just pulling back to headquarters when I noticed Sofia and Sara in the parking lot. Actually, I noticed Sofia and Sara hugging. Greg noticed what I was staring at and said, "Looks like Sara's made a friend." Before I could respond, he was out of the truck and hauling evidence toward the lab. 

I made my way to the back of my truck and pretended to fumble with my kit and evidence I had gathered. I was, however, busy watching as Sofia and Sara interacted. Evidently, one of them said the wrong thing and Sara made a hasty retreat into her car and sped away. Without them to focus on, I could actually gather my materials and head inside. I nearly had a heart attack as I felt a hand on my shoulder that caused me to jump and turn around to find out who was in my personal space. "Sofia! You scared the shit out of me! I thought your shift was over. What are you still doing around?" _Being a friend to Sara, obviously._

"Sara needed to borrow a safety seat from the PD so I brought it by for her," she was watching me to see how I'd react to Sara needing a safety seat. I don't react. "Look, I need to ask a favor of you, Catherine."

I was walking toward the lab and she was still standing by my SUV. I stopped midstride, turned around and slipped my glasses down to the tip of my nose. "What sorta favor do you need, Curtis?"

She smiled and jogged over to me. "Yeah. Actually, it's not a favor for me. It's for Sara."

She was standing here asking me to do Sara a favor. If Sara needed something, why couldn't she just ask me herself?

"What does Sara need? And why can't she ask for herself?"

"I can't go into a lot of details with you, that's for Sara to do on her own. But I'm sure you saw the little girl she had with her earlier today. Anyway, she'll be staying with Sara for a while and Sara needs to pick some things up to make her stay a bit more comfortable. She asked me to accompany her. I told her no. I don't know much about kids and even less about what they need or want. I felt so bad about telling her no. You know how hard it is for Sara to ask anyone for anything. Can you help her?"

"Who is the little girl? And why is she staying with Sara? Who in the world could be desperate enough to leave their kid with Sara?" Sara had always said that she wasn't very good with kids. And here she was with one.

"If you want to know, then I suggest you help her. She'll be sure to tell you then."

"I don't know that she'll even accept my help." It's not like Sara and I are friends.

Sofia sighed heavily and turned to walk away. "Then make her accept it."

I considered what Sofia was saying. This was an excellent opportunity for me and Sara to get to know one another. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Sara's number.

It rang a few times before she answered it. She probably saw my name on the caller ID and considered whether or not to answer it.

"Sidle."

Even though I wasn't used to this, I was going to try and be nice. "I hear you need some help."

I knew she wouldn't accept it. "I don't know who told you that, but…" Sofia said I had to make her accept the offer.

""Knock it off, Sidle. I'm not sure exactly what is going on. That's your place to tell me if—if you ever want to. All I was told was that you are going to be keeping a little girl and needed some help, uh, shopping and things like that. I'm offering my services."

I didn't have time to beat around the bush with her. And something told me that being polite and nice weren't going to work anyway.

"I appreciate the offer, Catherine. Really, I do. But…" _Don't let her tell you no. Make her accept your offer._

"Great, I'll meet you at your apartment in an hour." There. That's settled.

I'm sure Sara was completely confused and probably wondering how I knew where she lived. She asked me as much. And I couldn't help but play coy with her when I said, "There's a lot I know about you, Sara Sidle." And with that I hung up.

Now I just needed to get this evidence inside and call my mom about picking up Lindsey and taking care of her for the evening.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

Sara was busy trying to get Allie out of her safety seat when she felt like someone was watching her. She turned around only to find herself eye to eye with Catherine Willows. "Need a hand with that?" Catherine asked.

"No, I think I can handle it," Sara spit at her. The last person in the world Sara wanted any help from was standing behind her. _Why couldn't Sofia have just said yes?_

Sara finally removed the last of the restraints from Allie and pulled her from the car. She turned around with the little girl in her arms. She introduced Allie to Catherine. "Allie, this is Catherine. Catherine this is Allie."

"This is Catherine? You're right, mommy. She is pretty!" Allie shrieked. Sara began to turn bright red. Catherine took note of it. _So Sara Sidle thinks I'm pretty _is what Catherine thought to herself.

"It's very nice to meet you, Allie. And you certainly are a pretty girl. How old are you? 15? 16?"

"No, silly. I'm three," she said as she held up three fingers.

"Wow! Three years old! You look much older," Catherine said to the little girl as she brushed dark curls out of her face.

Catherine turned to Sara. "She certainly is beautiful. You're going to have your hands full when she gets older."

Sara's face paled. She obviously hadn't been thinking about years down the road. That was typical Sara Sidle, only thinking about today.

"Hey, how about we take my truck? That gives us room to put anything we might buy in the back. I already have a seat in the back. Ready?" Catherine barely gave Sara a chance to answer before she had taken Allie out of her arms and was strapping her in the back seat.

Over the next several hours, Catherine had managed to navigate Sara and Allie through several stores picking out clothes and toys. Catherine had quickly won over Allie. Sara was now playing second-fiddle to Catherine, a part she was accustomed to playing. Sara happily pulled out her credit card at every store they went to and paid for the items that Catherine and Allie had picked out.

"How many bedrooms are in your apartment, Sara?"

"Two. Why?"

"Well, Allie is going to need some furniture for that room. A bed. A dresser. Maybe a toy box and a bookcase."

"She already has a bed in there with a few other small pieces of furniture."

"Oh, okay. Can you think of anything else we need to pick up for her?" Catherine asked.

"We've picked up clothes. We've picked up toys. We've picked up toiletries and medicines for kids. No, I think we're about done. Not to mention the fact that my bank account is just about tapped, as well."

"Alrighty then. Let's head back to your apartment and get your things unpacked," Catherine said to Sara, before turning to Allie. "Allie, I bet you're hungry. What would you like to eat? My treat."

"Uh, thanks Catherine. But I want her to eat well. No fast food."

"Sorry, I just thought it would be easier to get everything set up if we grabbed some food first."

"Let's get back to your apartment then." Sara noted the disappointment in Catherine's voice.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

We drove back to my apartment in relative silence. I don't know why I had to go and be so bitchy to Catherine when all she offered was to buy us dinner. A dinner I'm sure would have capped a nearly perfect afternoon. I have to admit, I really enjoyed sitting back and watching the interaction between Allie and Catherine. It was like they had known each other for years. I should have asked Catherine for help to begin with instead of Sofia. It's just so damn hard to consider her a friend when the only feelings we've ever shared toward each other is animosity.

I don't even realize that we've pulled up in the parking lot of my apartment complex. I'm brought out of my reverie by Catherine's gentle touch on my shoulder. "How about you grab the bags and I'll get Allie?" she asked me. I nodded in response and popped the hatch on the SUV.

She was busy getting Allie out while I was struggling with the bags. _Did we really need to buy her this much stuff? Wait a minute, I said we. Did I really need to buy her this much stuff? There, that's better._

Allie and Catherine were talking as they walked up the three flights of stairs to my apartment. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was jealous. My little girl had known this woman for only a few hours and already was receiving more attention—better attention—than I had received from her in years. _Why I am suddenly so worried about Catherine and how she treats me? Is it really that I'm _suddenly_ concerned with it? Quit thinking, Sidle. That's your problem. Well, one of them anyway._

We reached the door of my apartment. My arms were full and I had to have Catherine reach into my jacket pocket to retrieve my keys. She walked in, waited for me to get inside, and then shut the door and dropped my keys in the bowl by my door—_just like I do._

I waked to the room that was going to be Allie's and put the bags down. Cath had planted herself on the couch with Allie in her lap and they were animatedly discussing something.

"Alright, Cath. I really appreciate your help today. I'm sure that you need to get home to Lindsey and then to work."

"Don't be ridiculous. Nancy is taking care of Lindsey and I have the night off." Catherine stood up and crossed the room toward me. "Where's your washer and dryer? We need to get all of those clothes we bought for her washed."

"They're behind the door there. I can handle it Cath, really, you can go now."

"No, it's my pleasure. I'll grab her clothes and start washing them while you fix us something to eat." With that, she smiled and walked toward the room she had seen me drop the bags in. _Why was she doing this?_

I threw my hands up in the air and said, "Fine. Thanks." I was in the kitchen chopping vegetables for a stir fry when I felt my pants leg being pulled on. I looked down, and right into the eyes of my little girl.

"I wanna help." I picked her up and sat her on the counter so that she could watch what I was doing. With every vegetable I started to chop, she'd ask, "What's that?" and I would explain it to her. I heard the washer start and knew that Catherine had started a load of laundry.

I was busy paying attention to my vegetables and Allie and didn't notice Cath come back into the living room until she called my name. "Sara? Hey Sara?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Don't ma'am. I'm not that old! When's the last time the linen on her bed was changed?"

"Probably the last time she was here. When was that Allie?"

"I dunno," the little girl replied.

"It's probably been a few months. I have a spare set for that bed in the linen closet in the hall. But I'll change it as soon as I'm done here."

"You cook. I'll change the linen," she flashed me a beautiful smile and then continued, "Besides, it looks like you have an audience there, Chef Sidle."

I couldn't help but smile back at her.

Was this the real Catherine?


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

The linen had been changed and dinner had been served. Sara was washing the dishes and putting them away when Catherine told her that she'd give Allie a bath and get her ready for bed.

"I can do that, Cath. Seriously, I know you probably need to get home by now."

"Nonsense, Sara. I told you. Lindsey is staying with Nancy and I'm off tonight. Besides, I'm really enjoying the company. I'll get her bath and you fold her clothes. They should be dry by now."

Nerd that she was, Sara recalled that line from a _Star Trek _movie. You know, the one that the Borg say -- _Resistance is futile._ It was useless for her to argue with Catherine. But she was going to do it anyway.

"She's **my** daughter, Catherine. I'd like to be the one to get her ready for bed her first night here."

With that, Sara picked Allie up and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She ran some bathwater and sat Allie in the tub. Allie wanted to wash her own hair and Sara obliged her. When she saw all of the suds running in her little girl's face, she was thankful that Catherine had pointed out the need for a specific type of shampoo. After lots of splashing and some actual bathing had taken place, Sara pulled the plug on the tub and wrapped a towel around Allie.

Her hair was tangled and when they came out of the bathroom with Sara still toweling Allie off, Catherine was still there. She was sitting on the couch folding Allie's new clothes. Sara came over and said, "I need her night clothes."

Without speaking, Catherine took a pair of pajamas and handed them to Sara. As Sara and Allie were walking towards Allie's room, she could hear Catherine behind them. "I'm just going to put these on her dresser," she said as she walked in behind them. She looked over at the mess on top of Allie's head and said, "I'm not telling you how to be a mom to your little girl, but you need to make sure you comb those tangles out before she goes to sleep or she'll have knots all over her head when she wakes up."

Sara merely nodded her head in acquiescence. Catherine smiled at her and spoke softly, "You were right earlier. I should go home. Just call if you need anything else." She leaned over and planted a kiss on Allie's forehead and kneeled down in front of the little girl, "It was very nice to meet you Allie. I hope I get to see you again soon." Before she could stand up, the little girl had wrapped her arms around Catherine's neck and said, "Me, too."

Catherine stood and turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on her arm. She looked down and saw that it was Sara's hand. She just froze and stared at the floor. Sara broke the silence, "Would you mind waiting in the living room until I get her put down? I need to talk to you." Sara could see the hesitancy in Catherine, after all, she had already tried kicking her out not once, but twice. She quickly added, "Please."

Catherine lifted her head and nodded before excusing herself to the living room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

Lyrics are to the song "Baby Mine." I have no idea who wrote it. It's in the movie _Beaches_ (love it) and I always thought it would be a beautiful song to sing as a lullaby.

_Catherine's POV_

All I wanted to do was help her. I know I can be a bit overbearing and pushy, but I didn't realize I was being intrusive on Sara and who is obviously her daughter. It's interesting because I don't recall Sara ever mentioning that she had a daughter. I never even knew she was married. Of course, being married wouldn't explain who that woman was that dropped Allie off for Sara earlier today.

It's been a long day and I know that if there's one thing Sara will want soon, it's a cup of coffee. I quickly locate her coffee and have a pot going in no time at all.

I'm listening to the coffee brew when I hear Sara's voice. Only this time, it's her voice like I've never heard it before. I take a few steps closer to Allie's bedroom so that I can hear what she's singing. I had no idea she could sing. I push the door open a bit so that I can hear her better. Allie is already under the covers with a nightlight on. Sara is lying beside her on the bed and it's really cute because her feet hang off the end of it. It's the sweetest song I think I've ever heard.

_Baby mine, don't you cry  
Baby mine, dry your eyes  
Rest your head close to my heart  
Never to part, baby of mine  
Little one when you play  
Don't you mind what you say  
Let those eyes sparkle and shine  
Never a tear, baby of mine  
If they knew sweet little you  
They'd end up loving you too  
All those same people who scold you  
What they'd give just for  
The right to hold you  
From your head to your toes  
You're not much, goodness knows  
But you're so precious to me  
Cute as can be, baby of mine_

I find myself standing there, with an occasional tear rolling down my cheek. I'm so lost in the moment that I didn't even notice that the song was over or that Sara is now standing beside me.

"Cath, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" She asks with concern in her voice.

I smile weakly at her and wipe my eyes. "I'm sorry. I was listening to you singing to Allie. And it was just so…well, sweet. It was a side of you that I know I've never seen and I have to wonder how many people have. And by the way, you have a beautiful singing voice."

I think I embarrassed her a bit as she blushes slightly before saying, "Do I smell coffee?"

"Yeah, I thought you might want a cup. It's still pretty early so I didn't think it would be a factor in keeping you awake." She walks past me toward the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee when I speak again, "Oh, and Sara?" She turns and looks at me. "You could sing to me like that anytime." I smile and suddenly realize just how flirtatious that sounded.

She just smiles back, winks at me, and then finally says, "If you're lucky." Okay, now I think she's flirting with me.

"I didn't mean it that way. I just meant I could get used to it." I'm trying to explain something that I should just let go because explaining it is only going to dig me a deeper hole.

"You could get used to it?" she asks me.

"Yes, hearing you sing like that. What I mean is, you're good." I think she's enjoying seeing how flustered I'm getting. Like I said, I should just let this go.

"You think I'm good?"

"Yes, your singing. It's good. You should do it more often. Shit, Sara. All I'm trying to say is I like this relaxed, carefree Sara that I've met today."

She doesn't say anything back about my comment. Instead she says, "I think we need something a little bit stronger than coffee. Would you like a glass of wine, Catherine?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I think I've managed to totally fluster Catherine. She made an innocent comment and then realized the double meaning in it and just had to try and explain it. Of course, instead of making herself clearer on her original point, all that happened was that she got more and more flustered. She's cute when she's flustered._ Shit! Did I just say Cath was cute?_

"Why don't you put some music on? Just make sure it's low. I don't want to wake Allie. And I'll grab us a bottle. Red okay with you?"

"Sure, red is fine. Anything in particular you want to listen to?"

"Yeah, actually there is. My CDs are alphabetized. Look for the one labeled _Dreams of Desire_. It's classical music but I bought it for the photography in the jacket. I love Judy Francesconi's black and white photos. Have you ever heard of her?" By now, I've managed to open the wine so that it can breathe and I've found two wine glasses. I never bother with a wine glass, but since I have company I should try to class it up a bit.

"I've never heard of her. Once I find the CD, I'll look through the jacket," she says as she's flipping through my collection. "You certainly do like music, don't you?"

"There are very few things I will splurge on. Wine, music and nice linens are my indulgence."

"I'd agree with you on the wine and nice linens. After working all day, there is nothing I love more than taking a hot shower and slipping between the highest thread count sheets I can not afford. Now, when it comes to music, I usually just listen to whatever Lindsey is into these days." She finally found the CD and slipped it in before coming back to sit in the living room. Instead of sitting in an empty chair, she decided to sit at the opposite end of the couch from me. "This is a beautiful CD, Sar. It's classical but not so classical that you have to think while listening to it."

"Glad to know that you like my taste in music. I just hope you like my taste in wine. It's one of my favorite reds. It's a Duckhorn Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. I swear, it's amazing." Okay, I think she may believe that I'm a little too into my wine. I pour us both a glass and pick hers up and offer it to her. I sit and watch as she brings the glass to her lips, breathes it in deeply and then finally tastes it. It's almost hedonistic to watch her drink this wine. Definitely time for us to continue talking instead of me just staring at her.

She closes her eyes as the dark liquid flows down her throat. _Did she just moan? _She opens her eyes and they just sparkle. "You're right. This is absolutely delicious. Sara, anytime you need someone to share a bottle of wine with, call me." _I wonder if she knows the joke about the only difference between a straight woman and a gay woman is a good bottle of wine?_

"Cath, would you mind if I went and change really quickly? I've been in this all day and I just need to relax."

"No, go ahead. I'll sit here and enjoy your wine without you."

I smile at her and jump over the back of the couch and head to my room. I've changed into pajama bottoms and a tank top in no time at all. As I come back into the room, I see her flipping through the jacket for the CD I mentioned to her earlier. In the same fashion I left the room, I step over the back of the couch and resume my position. Only this time, I keep my back against the arm of the couch instead of the back.

"I see you decided to check out Francesconi's work. She does some beautiful work."

I can see the blush rising in Catherine's face and sensing that I've made her uncomfortable, I speak, yet again. "I'm sorry, Cath. I didn't mean to…"

"There's nothing for you to apologize about. You said you needed to talk. Let's talk," she says as she sets the jacket down and pours herself—and me—another glass of wine. She's kicked off her shoes and is sitting just as I am on the couch.

Okay. Moment of truth here, Sidle. You're about to let her in. That means that she'll be able to hurt you even more than she has in the past.

"There are some things I want you to know. Some things that the guys found out today and that Greg has known for a while. You know how I hate to talk about myself, so please, just let me tell you what I have to tell you and then, if you want, you can ask whatever you want to ask. Okay?"

Her reply is simple. "Sure."

"I'm gay. I know there's probably been some confusion because of Hank and my apparent attraction to Grissom. But that was my way of trying to fit in here. I've had a few _unsuccessful_ and short lived relationships with men. With women, however, my experiences have been much better. The guys and Sofia were okay with finding out I'm gay. I really hope you'll be okay with it too. Although, I will understand if you're not. Anyway. Allie. Allie is not biologically my daughter. The woman you saw today at the lab, Julie, is her mother. We were together almost four years. I met Julie not too long after I moved here. Actually, about ten months after I moved here. We dated for a few months before she moved in with me. We were together about two years before we decided to have Allie. Not too long after Allie was born, our relationship really changed. I was working all of the time and not really there to help out with Allie much. That put a lot of stress on our relationship. Grissom sent me home one day and when I walked in, I found her with someone else."

I've never had the opportunity to tell this story to anyone and I know I'm starting to get emotional. Just as I start to feel the tears fall, I feel the softest, lightest touch on the back of my hand. It's Catherine. She's covered my hand with hers and is just gently stroking it with her thumb. I look at our hands and continue with my story.

"I tried, for Allie's sake, just to forget about it and forgive her. But I couldn't do it. So, when Allie was seven months old, I left. We were never officially _married_ since it's not legal anyway. But I had to support Allie. I didn't have to do it, but I wanted to do it. She was my little girl. We were amiable towards one another for a while. In the beginning, she'd let me see Allie every week and occasionally, she'd spend the night or a weekend with me. Until I found out she was using drugs. She was dropping Allie off here one day when I saw the track marks on her arm. I didn't get to see Allie for six months when I confronted her about it. I went to a lawyer and had her draw up papers for Julie to sign to give me custody of Allie. I knew it was only a matter of time. The last four or five months, she's allowed me to see Allie once every couple of weeks. And whenever I would call, she'd always let me talk to her. And then, she just showed up—at the lab—today and wanted me to take Allie. Said that she'd be better off with me. I saw the track marks on her arms. She's using again."

I started to honest to goodness cry. I wasn't sobbing, but the tears were flowing. Catherine slid over closer to me and pulled me into a hug. "I just don't know how I'm going to do this, Cath. How am I going to raise a child? I don't have friends or family to lean on when she needs to be picked up. I can't count on Ecklie to let me have days off when I need them. I love that little girl in there more than life itself, but I have no idea how I'm supposed to do this. This is going to be hard."

She pulls back and looks me in the eyes, "You're wrong, Sar. It's not going to be hard."

I'm sure I look awful right at this moment and the confused look I'm wearing probably doesn't help much. "It's not?"

She shakes her head. "No, it's not going to be hard. It's going to be damn near impossible."

I pull away from her. This is not what I need to hear right now. "Great. Thanks. It's just what I needed to hear." My voice is dripping with sarcasm.

I grab our wine glasses and what's left of the bottle and head toward the kitchen. "Why would you say that, Cath? Why would you tell me it's going to be impossible?"

She walks into the kitchen and stands toe to toe with me. "Do you want me to lie to you? Tell you that this is going to be easy? That you'll do a wonderful job?" I shake my head. "I didn't think you would. Look, raising a child is not easy. And I didn't say that it would be impossible. I said it would be damn near impossible. But you, Sara Sidle, can do this. That little girl in there needs you to do this. You'll fuck up some stuff along the way. And other things, you'll do and never second guess yourself. Raising a child isn't about the decision you're making or the mistakes you've made. It's about the end product. And how she turns out in 15 years, that's the end product. And if you're anything to go by, she'll turn out an incredibly strong, intelligent, compassionate woman," she lets me absorb her words for a second before walking back towards the living room and saying. "Now, bring me a cup of coffee."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

I'm sure Sara expected me to bolt as soon as she told me about her being gay. I'll admit that I was shocked, but not all together surprised. She does give off a bit a vibe. I was a bit hurt to find out that everyone knew but me. I could understand Greg knowing. The two of them are like two peas in a pod. I swear, sometimes I think they were hatched in the same lab somewhere.

Raising a child when there are two parents is hard. But raising a child as a single parent is nearly impossible. I told Sara as much. I don't want her thinking that this is something that's going to be easy. I know she was hoping that I'd just tell her everything would be okay. I may have been cruel to Sara in the past, but I've never outright lied to her.

Sara is always so intense and focused on whatever task is at hand. I have no doubt in my mind that she'll be able to handle raising Allie and to outsiders, I'm sure she'll make it look easy.

I tried so hard to convey that to her when she broke down crying. I think I might have gotten through to her.

Now, I'm sitting here waiting on my cup of coffee. I know she's in there trying to collect herself before she comes back in the living room. Sara doesn't like to appear weak in front of anyone—especially me. And I'm sure that crying in front of me has certainly made her feel vulnerable. I'll just have to try a bit harder to allay her fears.

Sara walked in, head down, and handed me a cup of coffee before sitting in the chair opposite me. _Great, she's putting distance between the two of us._

I inhale the sweet aroma of the coffee. "How'd you know how I take my coffee?" I ask her as I take an indulgent gulp of the dark liquid.

"I notice things about you, Cath. Let's just say it's the investigator in me." She smiles at me and starts to drink her own cup. "Well, I told you my story. Do you have any questions?"

So, she really is going to let me ask her questions. My chance to finally get to know everything about Sara Sidle I ever wanted to know.

"I have a few. It's getting late though, are you sure you're up for them?"

"I am if you are."

Here goes nothing.

"Why didn't you just tell us you were gay? Why all the secrecy?" I wasn't about to start out with the easy questions—just in case she decided she was gonna throw me out before answering all of my questions.

She smiled and put her now empty coffee cup on the table between us. "Wow. You're cutting right to the point, aren't you? Couldn't you ask something like _what's your favorite color?_ first?"

"I could, but then I run the risk of asking something later on that gets me kicked out before I ask the important questions. I figure I'll just start out with the tough ones first, then I'll throw you a few softball questions."

She tucks her legs under her before saying, "Cath, I'm not going to throw you out." After locking eyes for a brief moment, she continues, "It was a lot easier to be 'out' in San Francisco. Gays in Frisco are more common than in Vegas. I wasn't sure people here would be okay with it. We work a job where having the support of the police—and each other—is imperative to our survival. I didn't want to take a chance on people finding out and then the cops not arriving soon enough or someone being a little slow to draw their gun. After I got to know people, I didn't think it would matter one way or the other. Julie knew to never come to where I worked because I wasn't out. And she always respected that until today." She took my cup and hers and went to the kitchen to pour us another cup of coffee. My eyes never left body as she left the room and came back.

She handed me my cup and sat back down in the chair across from me before continuing. "When Julie and I broke up, it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. I wasn't interested in dating so the need to come out to you guys didn't matter any more. I promised myself that if I met someone I was really interested in that I would most likely tell you guys, but I didn't see that happening."

She paused and I took this as an opportunity to ask something lighthearted, just to lighten the mood. "So, what is your favorite color?"

She laughed a hearty genuine laugh. "Isn't it obvious?" Her cup of coffee was in one hand and with the other, she motioned around the room. "I prefer shades of purple. Purple is the color of royalty. It's supposed to help stimulate the imagination. Some people think that purple is the ideal color since it's a combination of the warmest and coolest colors—red and blue. It, uh, relaxes me."

"A relaxed Sara Sidle. Maybe we need to talk to Ecklie about painting the entire lab purple. Whatcha think?"

"I think we were having a much better talk before you brought up Ecklie," she laughed as she moved to the couch to sit opposite of me.

"Okay, another serious question then. The, uh, vacation you took—the two week one…"

"That was after the breakup. I had a few drinks and drove home. I was lucky not to get a DUI. But I was forced to take a couple of weeks off and start seeing a counselor. I don't have a drinking problem. I have a 'me' problem that's complicated by self-destructive tendencies. At least that's why my counselor tells me. Personally, I think it sounds less complicated to say I have a drinking problem."

I didn't realize that I had covered her hand, once again, with mine when I next spoke. "I like this, Sar."

Sara looked down at my hand on hers and said, "What? You like holding my hand?"

I pulled my hand back like it had been stuck in fire. "No, I didn't…I, uh…I wasn't …."

"Cath, calm down. I'm just joking. I'm not hitting on you."

Something in the way she said that she wasn't hitting on me pissed me off. "Why not?"

"Why not what, Cath?"

"Why _aren't_ you hitting on me? Is something wrong with me?"

Sara looked at me blankly before nearly doubling over on the couch laughing. She looked up at me again and burst into a second fit of laughter.

I stood up and asked her, "What the hell is so funny?"

Sara straightened herself and calmed her laughter before saying, "What is it with you straight women being offended when someone tells you that they're gay and not attracted to you?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I wish Catherine could have seen the look on her face when I told her I wasn't hitting on her. It was a mix of shock, anger, curiosity and something else that I can't quite put my finger on. "Why not?" she shouted at me.

I was mildly aware of the fact that we had a sleeping three year old in the room next to us and didn't want to wake her. Something in me didn't want this particular conversation to end. I had to know why she was disappointed that I was hitting on her. _That's it! That was the other emotion showing on her face when she said 'why not' a moment beforehand._

"Why not what, Cath?" I was going to let her dictate the course of this conversation and the easiest was to do that was not give her much more to go on. Simply restating her question would give her an opportunity to explain herself.

Her reply this time was much quieter. "Why aren't you hitting on me? Is something wrong with me?"

How in the world this woman could ever think anything was wrong with her was beyond me. Catherine, for all her faults, was damn near perfect. Not that I'd _ever_ let her know I thought that. But, she was. And she had deserved so much better from the men she had dated. Key word men. She wasn't into women, this much I knew for sure.

I couldn't help but laugh at what she was saying. This only pissed her off even more. "What the hell is so funny?"

I stopped laughing and turned serious. "What is it with you straight women being offended when someone tells you that they're gay and not attracted to you?"

"ARRRGHHHH!!! Why do you have to be so evasive? Can't I get a straight answer from you?"

Being out to my coworkers was going to open up options are far as jokes were concerned. I could now make lots of gay jokes when opportunities presented themselves. "I'm not being evasive and if you're looking for straight answers, I'm sorry, I can't give you one."

"What is that? Some sort of gay joke? Lesbian humor? Well, ha ha ha! I got the joke, Sara." Catherine sat down in the chair across from the couch and put her head in her hands. "This was supposed to be a simple conversation. Why did it suddenly turn into me wanting to know why you're not hitting on me?"

There was a serious tone in what she had said. A tone that left me unwilling and unable to jest about it. I stood up and walked over to her, sitting down on the arm of the chair. I put my hand on her back and started to make small circles with my palm. "Cath, just because I said I wasn't hitting on you doesn't mean that I don't think you're attractive." She looked up at me but I continued. "You are, as far as I'm concerned, _la femme parfaite_. Or since you're a scientist, you might prefer Latin to French—perficio mulier." I looked up toward the clock and noticed how late it was. "Look, it's really late. Why don't you spend the night?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

Sara suddenly realized how her invitation must have sounded. "I, uh, didn't mean…what I meant was…I just thought…" _Are those fingers against my lips?_

Catherine placed a pair of fingers against Sara's lips and said, "Do you ever shut up, Sidle? I know what you meant. I'm not going to read something into _every_ statement that you make."

"Sorry. You have to understand something, Cath. When you come out to people, you never know how they're going to react. So you tend to be a little oversensitive to things that you say or stuff that other people say. The last thing I want to do is make someone uncomfortable—including you."

"I'd like to stay. Do ya have anything I can sleep in? I'm not sure that these are the best clothes for a restful sleep."

"Yeah, I have some pajamas in my room. Come on, I'll get them for you. There are some fresh towels in the bathroom and some new toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet. Help yourself to whatever you want."

Sara went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas for Catherine. "I'm sure that they'll be too big on you. I am a little bit taller than you."

Catherine smiled as she took the clothes and said, "If it's okay with you, I think I'll just take the top. Then I don't have to worry about tripping on the bottoms."

While Catherine was in the shower, Sara changed clothes and grabbed a pillow and light blanket. She made put the blanket and pillow on the couch, intending to sleep there after she had checked on Allie. She was standing in Allie's doorway when she saw Catherine out of the corner of her eye. Sara pulled the door halfway shut and followed behind Catherine. She couldn't help but notice how nice Catherine's legs were in just that pajama top.

Catherine was just about to lie down on the couch when Sara said, "Catherine? What are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep, Sara."

"No, I meant. Why are you on the couch? I meant for you to take my bed. I'll sleep out here."

Catherine rolled over and looked at her through the dim light coming in through the blinds, "Sara, I'm not putting you out of your bed. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. You need a decent night's sleep."

"You are not sleeping on the couch. I am. End of story," Sara said as she pulled the blanket back from Catherine. "Now go get in the bed."

"You know, you already have that mommy tone going for you," Catherine reached for the blanket and pulled it back toward her. "I'm sleeping out here. You take the bed."

"Catherine, let's not argue. The last thing I want to do is wake Allie up. Now, please, go get in the bed," she said one more time as she pulled the blanket back—again.

Catherine's eyes narrowed and she grabbed the blanket with both hands and yanked it. Sara was caught off guard by Catherine's strength, causing her to topple forward and onto Catherine.

"I had you pegged as a top," Catherine couldn't help but laugh at Sara's predicament. Sara immediately blushed and tried to push herself off of Catherine. Catherine grabbed her wrists and held her still. "What size is your bed?"

Sara seemed dazed as she stared into a sea of blue. "What size bed do I have? Why do you care?"

"Look, you don't want me sleeping on the couch and I don't want you sleeping on it. If you've got something larger than a full size bed, we can both sleep comfortably in it. That's why I'm asking."

"A king sized bed," Sara finally replied. Catherine loosened her grip on Sara's wrists, and allowed her to get up. "Cath, I don't know that it's such a good idea for us…"

"Sara, I'm tired. You're tired. We're both adults. Let's just go to bed. You stay on one side and I'll stay on the other. I promise not to take advantage of you in your sleep."

Sara and Catherine made their way toward the bedroom. Both of them stood at the foot of the bed. It was almost comical how they looked at each, then the bed, and then back at each other again. "Well, I guess we should go ahead and get in," Cath said to Sara.

"Yeah, go ahead and get in," Cath moved toward the left side of the bed just as Sara did.

"What are you doing?" the brunette inquired of the strawberry blonde.

"I sleep on the left side. I was just going to that side of the bed."

"I sleep on the left side, too."

"Oh, well, since I'm your guest, I'll sleep on the right side. Sorry."

"No, you sleep on the left. I'll take the right."

"Shit, Sara. I'm tired just lie down somewhere," Catherine said as she quickly jumped on the bed and moved to the right side of the bed. Sara followed suit and finally sank into the left side of the bed.

There was practically an entire bed between the two women as they fell asleep. During the course of the night, the space between them diminished. It diminished to the point where when Sara was awakened only a few hours later, she had a blonde firmly affixed to her side. Turning to see what it was that had woke her up, she saw Allie standing at the foot of the bed. Sara didn't want to wake Catherine, or lose the feeling of her against her side, so she whispered to Allie, "Come here sweetie. Is something wrong?"

"Can I sleep with you?" Allie said in a sleepy voice.

"Yeah, baby. Come on up," she said as she pulled Allie onto the bed. The little girl snuggled against her right side.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Mmmm. I don't remember the last time I slept this well. Sara certainly does have good taste in linen. I'll have to find out where she bought these sheets. They're so soft.

If only there wasn't hair in my face, I might be able to sleep a little bit a longer. _Hair in my face? _Not only do I have hair in my face, I have my arm draped over a very warm body.

On some level, I know it's her hair. After all, I am in bed with her. What I can't figure out is why it's in my face. When we went to bed, we were on opposite sides of the bed. What if she moved in her sleep to _my_ side of the bed?

I open my eyes to verify that it is her hair and her body that I'm snuggled up to. _OH. MY. GOD._ It may be dark in here, but I can tell that it's Sara and I'm draped over her like some cheap fur on a two-bit hooker. And I'm on her side of the bed. As soon as it registered with my brain that I was holding onto Sara, I pulled back like I had been stung by something. I start scrambling backwards away from her only to find her turning over quickly.

"Cath, what's wrong?" she asked me as she sat up in the bed. "Cath?"

I couldn't even look at her. In my attempt to get some sleep last night I had promised her that I wouldn't take advantage of her in her sleep. And yet, I wake up and I'm all over her.

I practically jumped out of her bed and grabbed my clothes before running into the bathroom to change.

Sara followed me. She was on the other side of the door while I was frantically trying to get dressed.

"Cath? Catherine? Come on. Talk to me. What's wrong with you? Why did you jump out of bed like that? Did I do something? If I did, Cath, I'm sorry."

I finally finish putting my clothes back on. _You can do this, Cath. Just grab your purse and go._

I open the door of the bathroom intending to flee the scene but what I see causes me to stop dead in my tracks. Sara is sitting there slumped against the wall opposite the door. As soon as I step out of the bathroom, she lifts her head. There's so much sadness in her eyes accompanied by a single tear rolling down her cheek. After looking me in the eyes, she drops her head again.

My heart breaks at the sight of her there, broken, on the floor.

Without a breath's hesitation, I sink to my knees in front of her. "Sara, sweetie, you didn't do anything." I take one of her hands in mine and with the other, lift her chin to look at me. "I…I, uh, damn it…Sar, it freaked me out to wake up with you like I did."

"Nothing happened, Cath. I promise. I would never do anything to you like that. You were just sleeping so soundly and, to be honest, I was too. It was the best sleep I had got in, well, a very long time." She dropped her head again.

"Sar, it's not about you. This is about me. Just know that. It wasn't you. YOU. DIDN'T. DO. ANYTHING. WRONG."

"Then tell me why you're ready to bolt out the door."

I settled onto the floor in front of her, still holding her hand. "Look at me, Sar. You and I have never been friends. Yesterday, last night, this morning…that's the most time we've ever spent together outside of work. And I liked it. I really liked it. We sat and talked last night."

She smiles and throws in, "And flirted."

I blush at her statement, but it's true. "And we flirted. And it didn't weird me out. It didn't make me sick. And that…that confuses me. I liked it. I..uh, I…I've got to..." I was getting lost in her eyes and quickly broke eye contact.

"I understand," was all she said before walking into Allie's room. I left her to get her first full day started with her little girl.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

A/N: chapter sucks, I know it. I just need it for transition—I think.

_Catherine's POV_

I was a stripper for years. But I never fulfilled the ultimate male fantasy—being with another woman. There was _never_ anything I found attractive about another woman. I never even entertained the possibility. So, why is it that now, I'm examining the feelings I woke up with this morning.

Let's examine the evidence.

I find out my coworker has a daughter. I'm happy for her.

I find out my coworker is gay. I'm not the least bit bothered or shocked by this revelation. In fact, I'm intrigued by it.

I flirted with my coworker.

I kept touching her hand.

I sleep with my coworker. Okay, sleep might be the wrong word. I shared a bed with my coworker.

I woke up snuggled against the back of the coworker. Her hair was in my face and my arm was draped over her side. I slept better than I have in ages.

As soon as it had registered with me what I had done, I recoiled. Not at the fact that it was Sara…my female coworker…my _gay_ female coworker…but that I was comfortable with it.

My reaction scared the shit out of Sara. She thought she had done something wrong and that's why I had freaked out. I'm sure my unceremonious exit out of there left her believing that our relationship would be right back where it had been before I volunteered my services to help with Allie.

I think I fucked up by practically running out of there this morning.

I have to talk to someone who might be able to help me figure this out. Grissom is out. Can't talk to the Bugman about anything that involves human interaction. Greg, Warrick & Nick—uh, no. Wendy—no. Sofia? She was the one who called and told me to help Sara out. Sofia is very strong, very independent. She hands out with Wendy all of the time. I'm pretty sure that when Wendy first joined the lab she was hitting on me.

I'll pick Lindsey up, drop her off at school and then get in touch with Sofia. If she's not gay, at least she knows that Sara is and might be able to help me figure all of this out---whatever _this_ is anyway.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Sometime after joining us in bed, Allie started fidgeting and woke me up saying that she wanted to go back to her bed. Just as she asked, I got her up and put her back to bed.

As soon as I came back to the bed I was sharing with Catherine, she scooted over next to me and laid her head on my shoulder and draped her arm across my stomach. I couldn't help but put my arm around her. It wasn't anything sexual. It wasn't anything romantic. It was just comforting to be that close to another person—even if it was Catherine Willows.

I lay on my back with her cuddled up to me like that for a while before I assumed my natural sleeping position—on my side.

That didn't stop her from cuddling to me. She snuggled right up to my back and threw her arm over my waist.

Okay, well, holding her in her sleep may not have been sexual or romantic but I defy anybody who hasn't had sex in months to stop their body from reacting when they feel warm breath on her neck or fingers move around their stomach. I'd be lying if I said that at some point during my time in bed with Catherine I hadn't had some libidinous thoughts. But I didn't act on them. _Even though it was a **really** good bottle of wine._

We managed to sleep a couple of more hours before Catherine's stirring woke me from my sleep.

It was the immediate absence of the warmth radiating from her body that woke me. Then it registered with my brain that her arm was no longer draped over me. I turned over to face her and find out where she was going only to see her scrambling as quickly as she could to get away from me.

"Cath? What's wrong?" I said to her retreating body. "Cath?"

She practically jumped out of the bed and grabbed the clothes she had worn the previous night and fled into the bathroom.

I immediately started to build a timeline in my head of the events that had led to this moment, carefully looking for evidence that I had crossed some line to cause this level of panic in Catherine.

Shopping. Dinner. Washing clothes. Making beds. Giving a bath to Allie. Putting her to bed. Drinking a bottle of wine—really good wine. Coming out. Drinking coffee. Flirting. Catherine flirting. Arguing over who would sleep on the couch. Conceding to sleep—no share—the bed. Allie slept with us. Allie went back to her bed. Catherine snuggled up to me. I held her. She cuddled up to me. She woke up. She ran.

I can't recall doing anything that would have caused her to have that reaction. Did I say something in my sleep that might have caused her to run out like that? Oh. My. God. What if I had a sex dream? I mean, it has been a while and there finally was someone else in my bed. I close my eyes and think back. No, didn't have a sex dream. I'd definitely remember if I had one of those. I smile to myself thinking about other dreams I've had. _Knock it off, Sidle._

I get out of bed and stand outside the bathroom door. "Cath? Catherine? Come on. Talk to me. What's wrong with you? Why did you jump out of bed like that? Did I do something? If I did, Cath, I'm sorry."

She doesn't answer me but I can hear her frantically getting dressed.

I lean against the wall opposite the bathroom door and slide down it. My knees are drawn up to my chest and I can feel myself on the verge of tears.

It's only when she opens that door and I lift my head to look at her that a tear—a single tear—makes it way down my cheek.

That one look in her eyes tells me everything I need to know. I've done something and now she'll never want anything to do with me. I finally thought I was beginning to forge a friendship with Catherine and I've done something to fuck it up. _Way to go, Sidle._

I wait for the sound of my front door slamming. Instead, I feel a hand on mine and fingertips under my chin lifting my face. "Sara, sweetie, you didn't do anything." She's looking into my eyes. I could get lost there. "I…I, uh, damn it…Sar, it freaked me out to wake up with you like I did."

I want to convince her that nothing happened. "Nothing happened, Cath. I promise. I would never do anything to you like that. You were just sleeping so soundly and, to be honest, I was too. It was the best sleep I had got in, well, a very long time," I tell her before dropping my head again.

"Sar, it's not about you. This is about me. Just know that. It wasn't you. YOU. DIDN'T. DO. ANYTHING. WRONG." I don't find comfort in her words. I'm certain I've done something and she's just too embarrassed to tell me what I did.

"Then tell me why you're ready to bolt out the door."

"Look at me, Sar. You and I have never been friends. Yesterday, last night, this morning…that's the most time we've ever spent together outside of work. And I liked it. I really liked it. We sat and talked last night."

"And flirted," I remind her with a smile.

She blushes at my statement. "And we flirted. And it didn't weird me out. It didn't make me sick. And that…that confuses me. I liked it. I..uh, I…I've got to

I simply said, "I understand," before standing and walking into Allie's room. A moment later, I heard my front door shut and I picked my little girl up and held her close. She was all I had and I was going to be all she had. Trying to forge a friendship with Catherine had been a mistake. Finding out I was gay, had a kid, and was a half-way decent person was just too much for her to handle.

I kissed Allie on the forehead, "It's just you and me against the world kid. You ready?"

"I will be after breakfast," she smiles before kissing me on the cheek.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

I showed up at Nancy's place just as the kids were getting up. Lindsey was so excited to see me. Even when I work nights, I try to make sure I'm home in time to see her off to school. If it hadn't been for Sara last night, I would have spent the night at home hanging out with Lindsey. With the hours I work, I so rarely get to spend any quality time with her. I guess Sara will be learning about that pretty soon.

"Nancy, how about you get a shower while I cook breakfast?" She seems genuinely shocked by my offer. "What, I can cook, you know?"

"I know that. Just in case though, the extinguisher is under the sink and there's plenty of cereal in the pantry."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Go take a damn shower."

"My. Aren't we a little testy this morning? Did we wake up on the wrong side of the bed or in someone else's bed—since you appear to be wearing the same clothes you had on yesterday when you took Lindsey to school."

"Oh shut up and take a shower. I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh! He must be good!"

I'm not quite sure what she's talking about. "Who must be good?"

"The guy you stayed with last night. 'Cause I know you weren't home. And I tried your cell—went straight to voice mail. And you're in a bit of mood—not a bad mood, just a mood. So, he was obviously really good. You're wearing that 'I have something to think about face' you always get after you think you've met Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now."

"Nancy. Shut it, will ya? I wasn't with a man last night. I was with Sara."

"Something you need to tell me, Sis?"

"Nancy. For the love of all that is holy. Please go take a shower and leave me the ….just leave me alone about this. I have a lot on my mind."

I made waffles for the kids and started a pot of coffee while Nancy was in the shower. I managed not to burn the house down, which she seemed really pleased about when she joined us in time to have a few waffles herself.

"Cath, I wasn't trying to upset you. I was just giving you a hard time. I thought you were with a date last night. But why were you with Sara? I thought you couldn't stand her. And why are you in the same clothes?"

I gave her the eyes. You know, the ones that only mothers can make. The ones that stop a kid dead in their tracks and tell them that they're in way over their heads. "We'll talk about this later. Right now I need to take the kids to school."

I put our dirty dishes in the sink and say to Nancy, "I cooked. You can wash the dishes."

"And how is that any different from when I cook?" She smiles at me and I know that she knows I have a lot on my mind and I just need time to sort stuff out.

"Linds. Jer. Grab your books and lunches. Let's go or we're going to be late."

After I dropped the kids off at school, I pulled out my cell and dialed Sofia's number.

"Curtis." She sounds groggy. It's probably not a good sign. Means I probably woke her up.

"Hi, Sof. It's Catherine."

"Hi, Catherine. To what do I owe this early morning pleasure?"

"I need your help. Actually, I need someone to talk to. I was hoping that someone could be you. I'll even buy you a cup of coffee and a donut."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Catherine. Any other time, I'd love to, uh, help you out. But, see, I have this friend and she called me a little while ago. She was really upset. Seems that someone stormed out of her apartment this morning. Someone she thought was a friend. She's got a lot going on right now, so I think she needs my help a little more than you do."

The tone in her voice really pissed me off. "You know, I seem to recall that just yesterday you asked me to help this _friend_ because you didn't know a lot about kids and even less about what they needed or wanted. And now, you're going to run over and save the day?"

"Catherine, I don't know a lot about kids. I was honest. And I really thought that you being there for Sara would give you two a chance to bond over a common interest. You're both moms. And I thought it would give you an opportunity to share some things with her to help her out. I guess you just couldn't deal with finding out she was gay. Could you?"

"I don't think I deserve to be attacked…"

Sofia had her ire up now. "I don't really give a fuck about you think you deserve and don't deserve, Catherine. Sara really needs some friends right now. I guess it's my fault for thinking that you were capable of being one of those friends."

"Sofia, what exactly did Sara tell you? I spent the night there. I slept with her. I am one of her friends."

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. "Hello?" I asked to find out if I had been disconnected.

"You slept with her? She didn't tell me that."

"I didn't sleep with her as in have sex with her. But we shared a bed. And Sofia, I had a lot of fun with her last night. We talked. A lot. We had some really good wine."

I could hear Sofia chuckling, a much nicer sound than the icy coldness her voice had been only a moment earlier in the conversation.

"Well, you know what they say about a bottle of wine and a lesbian," she added once she had quit laughing.

"No, I'm afraid I don't. You'll need to share that joke with me."

"You really don't know that one? Okay. They say that only difference between a straight woman and a lesbian is a good bottle of wine," Sofia explained to me.

"I don't get it."

I could hear the embarrassment in her voice as she tried to explain the joke to me. "You see, Catherine, when people imbibe of alcoholic beverages, they tend to lose their inhibitions. The joke suggests that a straight woman, that would be you, might have carnal desires for another woman – and act upon those desires—if the bottle of wine was a really good bottle. Do you understand now?"

I'm sure she heard me gasp as she was explaining this. "Is that why….oh my god…Is that why Sara shared the good wine with me last night?"

I could sense Sofia smiling through the phone. "Catherine, dear, if Sara set her eyes on you, she wouldn't need a bottle of wine to get you in bed."

"Is that another one of these lesbian jokes? Cause if it is, I don't get that one either. Care to explain once more to my puny Neanderthal-like hetero brain?"

"All I'm saying Catherine is that Sara is a very passionate, dedicated, loyal woman. She gets what she wants because she goes after it with every fiber of her being. And Catherine?"

"Yes?" was all I could squeak out.

"If she wants you, number one, you'll know it."

"What's number two? To say number one implies that there is a number two. What is it?" I asked her impatiently.

"Number two is that if she wants you, she'll have you."


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

"So my little angel has a hungry tummy?" I asked Allie as I rubbed her tummy. She only nodded yes. She was still somewhat groggy from being pulled out of her bed.

"Alright sweetie. What are we going to have for breakfast?" I asked her as we walked into the kitchen. I sighed heavily as I noticed the coffee cups and wine glasses from last night sitting in the strainer. I hadn't washed them. There was also a fresh pot of coffee on. Catherine must've done this before she left.

"Can we have pizza for breakfast?" Only a child—or Greg Sanders—would think that pizza was an acceptable breakfast dish.

"No, we cannot have pizza. We can have cereal. We can have oatmeal. We can have toast. We can have waffles. We can have eggs. You pick."

"How about I have pizza and you have one of the others?" She smiled as she asked this. I smiled right back and said, "Cereal it is. Fruit Loops or Fruity Pebbles?"

"I'll have both, please. Just mix 'em together." Once again, only a child—or Greg Sanders—would think that this was acceptable.

"Your wish is my command, princess." I poured some of each cereal in her bowl with some milk and gave her a cup of orange juice. "Mommy needs to make a phone call, okay? I'll over there in the living room. You can come over when you're finished eating, babe."

She had a mouthful of cereal and could only look up at me and nod as milk ran down her chin. She was so adorable. I should have taken her from Julie when I left.

I walked into the living room and lay down on the couch using the pillow I had put out last night to prop my head up. I reached for my cell phone and dialed Sofia's number.

As soon as she answers the phone, I realize I've woke her up. "Curtis," she says heavily into the phone.

"Sof, I'm sorry to call so early, but…"

"Sara? What's wrong?" she seems fully awake and alert now.

"Allie is fine. But I think I must've done something to upset Catherine."

I could hear her making a noise. She was obviously stretching and trying to chase the cobwebs away. "Not that I mind you calling me so early in the morning, Sar. But why are we talking about Catherine? There are so many other things we could talk about." She had a sexy purr to her voice and I couldn't help but imagine in this instant what she must look like right now. Sprawled out on her bed. Half asleep. Probably in boxers and a tank top.

"Hello? Earth to Sara."

"Huh?" was all I could say in response to her.

Her voice gets incredibly husky as she says, "I asked you what you wanted, sweetie."

Must stop imagining Sofia in bed. _You need to get laid, Sidle. _"What…what, uh, why I wanted? Right. Look, Catherine took off on me like a bat outta hell this morning."

I can hear bells, sirens, and alarms ringing in her head from my last comment. "Wait a damn minute. Did you just say that Catherine left there…this morning??? As in, Catherine spent the night with you?"

"Yes, she spent the night, but…"

"No buts needed. You go girl. You are now officially my hero! You come out to your coworkers and bed the woman you've had all these pent up feelings for for years. I wish I could be you."

"Wait, Sof, you have the wrong idea," I was about to set her straight on her comment about bedding Catherine when suddenly I realize she had called me her hero. "Catherine just slept with me, I didn't bed her. I mean we slept together. Shit. We slept in the same bed. But better yet, why am I your hero?"

"Sara, you really are dense sometimes, you know that."

I knew as soon as she said that. "You mean you're…"

"Yep. Let's just say we both play for the same team."

"Damn. The guys would stroke over this. That just leaves Catherine and Wendy."

"Correction, Sara Sidle. Just leaves Catherine."

I smile as I suddenly realize why Sofia spends so much of her downtime around the lab. "You and Wendy?"

"Uh-huh. But let's back to the reason behind this phone call. One, Catherine Willows, left your apartment this morning after spending a sexless night with you. Is that correct?" I agreed with her synopsis. "And this bothers you because?"

"I just realized something you said a minute ago, Sof. You said I had pent up feelings for Catherine. Where did you get the idea that I had feelings for her?"

"You two have worked together for years and you've been at each other's throats from day one. That kinda passion only comes from love or hate. And you don't have it in you to hate someone like Catherine. That only leaves pent up feelings of love, my Sara. And since you probably see her as unattainable you try to push her away by being hostile and snippy with her."

"I think you're wrong, Sofia. I've always wanted a friendship with Catherine. She's hetero all the way. One of those strictly dickly girls, if you get my drift."

"Whatever, Sidle. Why did you call again?"

"She left this morning. She said it freaked her out to wake up with me like she did."

"And just how did she wake up with you?"

"Snuggled up against my back with her arm draped over my waist."

"Oh my. Quite an intimate position for a _new_ friend. Did she act weird when you told her you were gay?"

"No, that's the funny thing. It's like she relaxed around me after I told her. We even sat around, drank some wine and I swear there was flirting. Actually, I know there was flirting. She confirmed it this morning."

"Did she say anything else?"

I thought about our conversation this morning before she left. "Only that she was confused because flirting with me and waking up like she did hadn't weirded her out. Then she just said she had to go and bolted out the door. I keep think I did something wrong. Like I reached out and touched her in her sleep or something. There's no way someone in their right mind would bolt like that for the reasons she gave."

"Maybe she thinks you want her, Sara. Maybe she's afraid that you're putting the moves on her."

I laugh at the thought of this. "I know you just found out I'm gay and you've never seen me actually pick up women or anything, but I'll put it to you like this, Sofia. If I want Catherine, I'll have her."

"Damn, you're cocky. I like that. If I wasn't seeing Wendy…"

"First of all, I'm not cocky—I'm confident. And second of all, you're not my type."

She laughs at my last statement. "So other than calling to bitch about Catherine, did you need anything?"

"A friend. When I go to see Julie, I need someone to watch Allie. I can call Greg if you can't do it. I'd totally understand."

"No problem, Sara. I'll be here for ya, girl—even if I'm not your type." She laughed and hung up the phone after telling me she'd be over after showering and having breakfast with Wendy.

I lay there and thought about some of the things she had said. _Did I have feelings for Catherine? I would know if I did, right?_


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

I'm not sure anything would have prepared Sofia for my question. I said it in almost a whisper. "And what happens if I want her?"

Once again, there was silence on the other end of the phone. I pulled into my driveway while I was still waiting for Sofia to say something. "Sof, please say something."

"I'm just, uh, shocked Catherine. Shocked. Yes, definitely shocked. Do you want her?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know. This is all so confusing. How do you know?"

"How do you know what?"

"How do you know when you want another woman?"

"How do you know when you want a man? It's the same thing, Cath. Desire. Want. Lust. It's all the same whether you're gay, straight, bi, or just curious." I suddenly realized how naïve my question must've sounded to her. Thankfully, she didn't try to belittle me when she answered. "The fact that you're uncertain about how you feel says a lot. At least, I think it says a lot. And you can't immediately dismiss the idea of wanting to be with her, can you?"

"No, I guess I can't. It's just that I'm not repulsed. I'm not bothered by her being gay. Not that I would expect to be because I do think I'm fairly open-minded. But, there was a level of familiarity there last night…this morning. I just don't want to make a fucking fool of myself."

"Do you want some advice, Cath?"

"That is the reason I called you."

"Spend some more time with Sara. She's a really great person. And I still think she's going to need a lot of help—and advice—on raising a kid. And out of all of us, you're the only one that can give that to her."

"What about the way I left her this morning?"

"There's only one way for you to fix that."

"Thanks, Sof. We'll have breakfast one morning."

"Thanks, but I prefer brunette lab techs for breakfast."

"Oh." I knew she was trying to tell me something with this information. It took a moment for it to register with me what she was saying. "Oh!"

"Have a good day, Cath," was the last thing she said before she hung up.

I rushed upstairs to shower and change. I was about to have a very long day.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I was busy trying to get Allie's hair brushed when I heard the knocking on the door. "Come on in Sof. Door's unlocked." I heard the door open and shut. "We're in Allie's room getting dressed. Be right out."

"Ow. Ow. It hurts! Don't pull so hard."

"Well, if you would hold your head still I could get the tangles out," brushing someone's hair other than my own had never been something I could picture myself doing. As a child, I had never had dolls to play with or Barbies to fuss over.

I was still struggling with tangles when Allie squealed, "Caferin! You're here." I still had the brush in her hair as she ran toward _Caferin_. She wrapped herself around the legs of the strawberry blonde and all I could do was sit there and look in her eyes.

"Uh, hi Catherine. I thought you had some stuff to do. You said you had to go."

I could tell that the eye contact was making her uncomfortable. She dropped to her knees in front of Allie and said, "What's with the hairbrush in your hair?"

Allie turned around and pointed an accusing finger at me, "She's trying to pull all of my hair out."

Catherine smiled and said, "Is she now?" My little girl nodded. "Would you like for me to brush your hair?" Once again, she nodded. "I tell ya what. How about you go and sit on the couch and I'll be in there in a few minutes. I want to talk to your mommy for a second. Okay?"

Allie had barely nodded before taking off toward the living room with the hairbrush flopping against her head.

Catherine walked toward me and took my hands in hers. She pulled me to my feet and into a hug. She moved her mouth to my ear. _God. I can feel her breath on my ear._ "I'm sorry I left like I did. And I'm sorry if doing so made you think you had done something wrong because you didn't."

Before I could respond, she pulled away from me and started toward the living room. As she reached the door, she turned around and flashed me a smile before saying, "Alright, Al, I'm on my way. Let's see if we can pull the rest of that hair out!"

"Hold up, Catherine," I had to know why she came back. She turned back around and stood with her arms crossed over her chest and leaning on the doorframe. My stomach did a flip…and then a flop…at the sight of her. She was incredibly sexy._ THAT is Catherine. You can't think like that._ "Why **did** you come back? After this morning, the way you left, I was sure that I had done something to cause you run off. I…"

"…had nothing to do with why I left. But it has everything to do with why I came back," she said before walking into the living room and freeing the hairbrush trapped in my baby's head.

I slowly walked into the living room so that I could observe the scene unfolding in front of me.

"Mommy doesn't know how to brush hair," my little girl explained to her.

"Really? Well, it's probably because her hair is straight and you have these pretty curls in your hair. Just like mine," Catherine says to her as she gently begins brushing Allie's hair. "You have to give your mommy time. This is the first time you're going to be living with her since you were a baby. It's going to take some time for her to learn how to do things right."

"But you already know how to brush my hair, Caferin."

"That's because I have a little girl. Well, she's not little like you anymore. She's almost a teenager. She's twelve."

"You have a little girl? Did you brush her hair like this when she was little too?"

"I sure did, little one. And you know what? Someone had to show me the right way to do it because I used to pull her hair _really_ bad."

"Caferin?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Can you show mommy how to brush my hair without pulling it out?"

Before Catherine could answer, I stepped forward and repeated her question. "Yeah, Catherine. Think you could show her mommy how to brush her hair without pulling it out?"

Blue eyes twinkled and she said, "Yeah, I think I can handle that. Wanna come and get your first lesson?"

_Boy do I ever._


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

Catherine first showed Sara how to brush Allie's hair and then suggested she try by herself. Catherine sat there watching Sara make slow strokes through Allie's hair being careful not to pull when she encountered a tangle.

"With her curly hair, she's probably always going to have problems with tangles," Catherine warned Sara. "You have to make sure you brush her hair really well before she goes to bed. And try to never send her to bed with wet hair. Blow dry it if you have to. But I wouldn't do that every night."

Sara, forever an apt student, took note of everything that Catherine was telling her. She didn't know how long _nice Catherine_ would stick around, so she had to soak up as much information as she possibly could.

Once all of the tangles were clear, Sara said, "That wasn't so hard."

With a frown, Allie turned around and said, "Easy for you to say. That was my hair you were pulling before Caferin got here." She took the brush from Sara's hands and ran into the other room.

Catherine found herself laughing at Sara who was sitting there with her mouth agape. "Oh Sidle. You are in for so much trouble!!! She has a mouth on her and an attitude to boot. I can't wait to see her grow up."

Sara still had not gained her ability to speak. She turned to Catherine, looked up at her and stood up. She took a few steps toward her room and stopped, turned and looked at her again. She opened her mouth to speak before closing it again and turning back toward her bedroom. She could hear Catherine's laugh resonating throughout the apartment.

Catherine knew that Sara was probably getting ready for her day, so she got up and walked into Allie's room. "How about we make your bed, Al?"

"You can make it if _you_ want. I don't want to," Catherine was shocked to hear a three year old telling her no like that and couldn't resist arguing with her—even though she knew better than to spar with a kid.

"And just why do you not want to make your bed?"

Allie looked at her like she was completely stupid. "Well, duh! I'm gonna sleep in it again tonight. Only gonna mess it up again. So why make it up?"

Catherine just smiled. "How am I supposed to reason with logic like that?"

"Reason with logic like what?" Sara asked as she entered the room.

"Oh, I was just trying to convince your little angel here to make her bed. She seems to be under the mistaken assumption that she shouldn't make it just because she's going to sleep in it again."

Sara couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's logic. "Yeah, you're right. Hard to argue with that. But let's see if I can do it." Sara turned to her little girl. "Al, come here." She knelt down in front her. "Did Catherine ask you to make your bed?"

"Uh-huh."

"Let's not say uh-huh. Manners, remember. Say yes ma'am."

"No. And you can't make me," she shot back at Sara.

Sara reached for Allie and grabbed her by the arm. "Yes, I can."

"Mommy, you're hurting me. Lemme go." As soon as those words came out of Allie's mouth, Sara dropped her arm and fled into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Oh my god. I've turned into my parents. The first hint of resistance from Allie and my gut reaction is to…

I shouldn't panic. She talked back to me. Told me that I couldn't make her do anything. And then I grabbed her arm…

I grabbed her arm and I hurt her.

_Mommy, you're hurting me. Lemme go._

How many times had my mom grabbed my arm? How many times had she said the same thing I said to Allie?

How many times had I looked at my mother with that same haunting fear in my eyes? How many times had I said those same words to my mother?

I sit in the bathtub and start sobbing. I couldn't do this. I COULD NOT DO THIS. I was going to turn into my mother.

"Sara? Sara, sweetie? Are you okay?"

Shit! Catherine was here. She saw me grab Ally. She knows I'll hurt her. She'll tell everyone.

"Sara, come on, open up. What's wrong?" There is no way I'm opening the door for her.

"Catherine. Go away. Just leave."

"Fine. If that's what you want, I'll leave. But who's going to stay with Allie while you have J-U-L-I-E sign the papers?"

"I'm not having her sign the papers. I'm going to just have her take her back. I'll just hurt her if I keep her."

Shit. I forgot to lock the door. Just slammed it behind me. Maybe Catherine won't try it. Damn. No such luck.

She's opening the door. I'm on the floor of my bathroom sobbing like some baby and she's going to see me like this. Of course, she saw me cry last night but that wasn't after she saw me manhandling my daughter.

"Cath, please don't. Just shut the door and go away."

"No."

"Catherine. Leave. Go. It's what you did this morning, so I know you _know_ how to do it."

I was baiting her. Let me fight with her and not hurt my kid. Please take the bait, Catherine.

Instead of taking the bait, she reaches into the tub and turns on the cold water and then turns the shower on.

"What the fuck?!?" I scream at her as I scramble to get up. She just pushed me back down.

"Stay down there until you cool off."

Where does she get off talking to me like this? Or putting me in a cold shower?

"Catherine, turn the water off. Now!"

"And if I don't?" She was challenging me. She was taking the bait. Finally. A fight I knew how to handle.

But I didn't fight back. "I grabbed her. She had to tell me I was hurting her. I don't want to be her. I don't want to be my mother. Just take her. Get her away from me so that I don't hurt her. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt her." I was rocking back and forth, under the cold water of the shower. "I don't want to hurt her." It was now my mantra.

The shower stopped, but my tears didn't. I was still repeating it. "I don't want to hurt her."

"Sara. Who did this to you, hun?" she asked as she pulled me to my feet and started to dry my hair. "I'm sorry I turned the shower on like that but I had to get your attention. Now, let's get you out of these wet clothes."

I looked into her eyes and without saying anything she knew what I was asking. "Allie is fine. She's in the living room watching television. Dora was on. Now come on. Let's get you out of these."

She stopped drying my hair and stepped back. My fingers were trembling so bad that I couldn't unbutton my shirt. She saw this and stepped forward again, locking eyes with me. They never left mine as she unbuttoned my shirt and pushed it backwards to fall of my shoulders. She reached around me and undid my bra and followed suit with my jeans and underwear. And she never broke eye contact. I'm not even sure she saw an inch of flesh she hadn't seen one of the hundreds of times she'd seen me change in the locker room. She turned and grabbed my robe and wrapped it around me before leading me to the bedroom.

"What time do you have to meet Julie with the papers?" she asked me.

"I have to call her and tell her," I said in barely more than a whisper. "She knows where, but we never set a time. Why?"

"You just lie here in your bed for a few minutes and rest," she told me as she motioned for me to lie down. "I'll make sure you get up in a few minutes and then you can call Julie. Okay?"

After I finally sank onto the bed, she bent over me and brushed my hair away from my face. "Everything will be fine, Sar. I promise. And I always keep my promises." I closed my eyes and felt her lips brush against the thin skin of my forehead.

On instinct, I reached for her hand. I never opened my eyes. "Please stay with me. We don't have to talk. Just…stay. A few minutes." My voice, although cracking, was still barely above a murmur.


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

I never spoke. I just moved to the other side of the bed and scooted over facing her. I slid one arm under her and the other over her and pulled her towards me. Her head was resting against my shoulder and I was making shushing noises just trying to get her to relax. Her tears subsided and I thought she had drifted off to sleep when she finally began to talk.

"I was the girl whose mother murdered her father. He abused me. She abused me. It went on for years. No one ever knew. I never told anyone. I was told to keep my mouth shut. That family business stayed in the family. There were hospital visits. Sprained ankles and broken bones. Stitches and casts. That's what my childhood was about. I didn't have a mom to love me like you love Lindsey. I didn't have someone to protect me like you do Lindsey. Sometimes, when she was beating me, I'd beg her to stop. I learned not to ask her to stop because it only made her hit harder and longer. I never wanted to be her. I never really wanted kids. I loved Julie and she wanted one so we had Allie. And I love her. I do love her. I'm just so afraid that I'll hurt her Catherine. In her bedroom. When I grabbed her arm. When I told her I could make her…my mom said things like that to me. That was how it started. Grabbing an arm. Saying mean things. Before you know it, I'm beating her with whatever I can get my hands on because she said 'ow' while I was brushing her hair. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt her."

She kept repeating that over and over again. I had no idea Sara had been abused. That her father had been murdered…by her mother. It was no wonder that she took domestic violence and child abuse cases to heart the way she did.

"Sar, you're not your mother. YOU. ARE. NOT. HER. The way you freaked out when you did something as simple as grabbing her arm tells me that you'll never lift a hand against that child. And sweetie, you didn't do anything that _any_ mother wouldn't have done when she talked back to you. She's three. She probably hasn't had a lot of limits and boundaries set for her. She's going to be defiant until she learns that you're the one in charge."

"Please don't think I'm a bad person, Cath. Please don't. I, uh, I need..."

I silenced her with shush. "Less talking. More resting. We can talk later." I brushed my lips against her forehead once again. "And Sar, I don't think any less of you. In fact, I think more of you right now…at this moment…than I ever have."

She pulled me closer against her and just held me. At that moment, I think I was her anchor with reality. The one thing letting her know that she was herself…and not the monster she remembered her mother to be.

At some point I think we both drifted off. Definitely not a good thing with a three year old in the house. I was awakened by the distinct sound of glass breaking. It woke Sara, too. She jumped up and went running into the living room. I was on her heels as she looked around the room. "Allie, baby, where are you?" she said.

"Check her room," I suggested. I knew the crash had come from the kitchen. It sounded like a glass falling to the floor.

While Sara walked toward her bedroom, I walked around the counter in the kitchen and found little Allie trying to carefully pick up glass from the floor.

"No, sweetie. Don't touch that," I said as I stepped toward her. I had completely forgotten removing my shoes when I climbed onto the bed with Sara. I winced when I felt the glass slice the bottom of my foot, but still reached down and picked Allie up.

"I got her, Sar. She must've been thirsty," I said as I walked Allie to the living room. I was becoming more and more aware of the pain in my foot and was trying to walk on the outside of my foot in case glass was still in it. Sara came into the room and walked into the kitchen.

"It's just a broken glass." She walked over and picked Allie up and took her back to the kitchen.

"You cannot use glasses like that. Remember, Catherine helped you pick out some cups with lids on them. They're already in the fridge." She opened the door and showed the little girl before taking one out and giving it to her. "And baby, if you ever break anything again, don't try to pick it up and don't walk through it. Just call mommy and I'll come and pick you up and clean it up."

"Yes ma'am," the little beauty said to Sara. "I'm sorry, mommy."

"It's okay baby. Now, you go sit with Catherine while I clean this up."

I knew there was no way she could be like the mother she described to me earlier.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

As soon as I had finished cleaning the glass from the floor, I noticed the blood that led to the couch. _Shit. I forgot to even check and see if Allie had glass in her feet or had cut herself. I'm a trained CSI—how could I miss blood on the floor?_

I walked calmly over to the couch where Catherine and Allie are seated and sit on the coffee table in front of the television.

I lift one Allie's feet in my hand and look—no blood or glass. I repeat the process. Same result. "Allie did you cut yourself on the glass, baby?"

"No, ma'am."

"Okay, sweetie. Then where did all the red stuff on the floor come from?" I didn't want to say blood. I didn't know if she was squeamish or not.

"Uh, Sar…I think I'm the one guilty of the 'red stuff' on the floor. I forgot I didn't have shoes on when I picked her up to get her out of the glass." She picked both feet up and put them in my lap. "Do I still have glass in them?"

I was stunned momentarily that she had walked through glass to pick Allie up. But then again, I shouldn't be. She is, after all, Catherine Willows—Supermom. "You walked in glass. Without shoes on. And got blood on my floor?"

She seemed shocked that I had said something about the blood on my floor. "You do realize I'm going to have to pull out my biohazard bags and some latex gloves to clean this up, don't you? And the next time I'm playing with the luminal, my floor is going to light up like a Christmas tree." I was trying to hard to feign seriousness. It was working.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bleed all over your floor. You play with luminal at home?" She looked at me quizzically and I couldn't help but smile at her.

I picked her left foot up and slowly ran my fingers over the bottom of it. "Let me know if you feel something as my fingers move over the bottom of your foot. I may not feel it with my fingertips but you might feel it if I brush over it." Catherine had her eyes squeezed tightly shut and was biting her bottom lip. _I'd like to see that look on her face but with her in a different position. Where the hell did that come from?_ "Feel anything?"

She never opened her eyes. Allie looked up at her and could see the pain on her face. She picked one of Catherine's hands up and said, "It's okay Caferin. You can hold my hand. Mommy will fix your owie."

I couldn't help but smile. That was so incredibly precious and sweet.

"Doesn't look like there's anything in this foot. Guess you got lucky just having glass in the other one." I set the one foot down that had been in my lap and stood up. "I'm going to get some tweezers and antiseptic. Be right back."

I went into the bathroom and pulled out my super-duper first aid kit. Tweezers. Bandages. Latex gloves. A small bottle of saline. Biohazard bag. A couple of old towels. I walked back into the living room and put my stuff on the table and went to the desk to get a penlight.

I pushed the table back and sat on the floor. Before I even touched her foot I pulled on latex gloves. "Not allergic to latex, are you?" I asked as I snapped the last glove on and wiggle my eyebrows at her.

Her eyes shot wide open and she said, "You're putting gloves on to pull out a sliver of glass. Jeez, what are you going to do when we…" She turned bright red and slammed her eyes shut again. "Nevermind."

I chuckled at her before starting to explain what I was going to do. "I'm going to rinse the bottom of your foot off first with this saline. Then I'm going to look for the glass in your foot. If you're lucky, I'll be able to get it out. If not, we'll be going to the hospital." I clicked the penlight on and put it in between my teeth so that I could shine it on the bottom of her foot. I held her foot in one hand with the towel hanging beneath it. I didn't want any diluted blood on my carpet. As soon as the liquid started to run over the bottom of her foot, she jerked. "Cath, stay still. You're not setting a very good example for Allie. If she sees you acting like this, how do you think she'll act if she ever gets hurt?"

She definitely shot me a _fuck you _glare as I said that. She was still clinging to Allie's hand.

"Okay, I'm going to start digging the glass out of the bottom of your foot now." Every single time the tweezers get near the bottom of her foot, she jerks her foot. "Catherine, you either keep your foot still or I'm going to have to take you to the hospital. Can you do that? Please?"

"I'm ticklish, Sara. I can't help it. A little glass isn't going to kill me. You could just leave it in there."

"Uh, I don't think so. And try not to break Allie's hand, okay? I can dig glass out to avoid a trip to the hospital but I don't have the ability to set bones or put a cast on—yet." I say to her with a wink. "Now. Hold. Still."

After a few moments of gentle digging—but not too gentle because we don't want to tickle Princess Catherine—I manage to pull one of the pieces of glass out. "Okay, that's one. I'm gonna rinse the bottom of your foot again."

In the next few minutes I manage to pull out two more small pieces of glass. There are no other cuts on the bottom of her feet. But that doesn't stop me from running my fingers gently over her feet. She's suppressing a smile and is starting to fidget. _That's right. She's ticklish._

"Let's put a few bandages on your 'owies' and then you'll be as good as new. Although I'm not sure you'll be able to put on those "throw me down and…those heels that you like so much," I say as I find myself turning an incredible crimson color.

I put the towels, tweezers and my gloves in the biohazard bag.

"You really keep biohazard bags in your house?" she asks me.

"You mean you don't?" I'm serious. I can't believe she doesn't. "Doesn't everyone?"

She releases Allie's hand and smiles a silent _thanks_ before turning back to me. "No, everyone doesn't. Are you going to pull out latex gloves when she gets a splinter?" She motioned to the bundle of energy that had now gone to her bedroom and left us alone.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not going to come into direct contact with anyone's body fluids like that."

I continued to clean up the area where I had just performed my minor surgery on Catherine's foot. I had my back turned to her and didn't realize she was trying to stand up and test putting weight on her foot. I turned around too quickly, bumping into her and sending us both to the floor. This was the second time in less than twenty four hours I had been on top of Catherine. The last time, she had the upper-hand with her _top_ comment. _Think quickly, Sidle. Say something._ _Why can't I think of anything to say? Oh yeah, I'm looking into the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen._

Before I have time to say anything, Catherine rolls us over so that she's on top. She sighs as she looks down at me. "I think I like you better on the bottom, Sara."

I can't say anything. I move my mouth, but nothing comes out.

She's smirking at me. She's on top of me, looking down at me, with the smuggest smirk I've ever seen a woman wear.

"Mommy?"

"Right here, baby," I say as I quickly push Catherine off of me and stand up.

She looks from me to Catherine and back to me again. It's like watching a tennis match. _Please don't let her three year old brain come up with something to say about this situation._

She smiles. It's the biggest smile I've ever seen on her before. And she opens her mouth to speak. _Please god. Nothing embarrassing. I wonder how long it will take to pack everything up and leave if she says something embarrassing. Read my mind, Allie. Don't embarrass mommy. _

She looks almost shy as she says it. "Were you two kissing?" _Kill me now._


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: **see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Sara is mortified. Her daughter just asked her if we were kissing. I could tell from looking at her before Allie actually said a word that she was trying to send her mental messages not to say anything. I should tell her that never works. I should also fill her in on the fact that if there is the slightest opportunity for a kid to say something embarrassing, they will. They don't do it to be mean. They just say what comes to mind.

I'm busy laughing at Sara when I suddenly feel Allie turn her sights on me. _Oh shit. _"Are you my mommy's girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend, Allie. She is just mommy's friend." Sara looks over her shoulder at me and smiles. I'm sure she's thinking that she just saved me from having to answer a child's question. And in reality she did. She just answered it a little too quickly, as far as I was concerned.

"I'm curious, Allie. Why did you think I was your mommy's girlfriend?" Kids are honest. I'm banking on her being honest right now. Maybe a three year old will help me figure out what I'm trying desperately to understand on my own.

Sara shoots me a death glare. She's obviously unhappy with my choice of questions for her little girl.

Allie just looks at me like I'm the dumbest person on the face of the earth—which I very well might be. "I see the way you look at her and the way mommy looks at you. You fuss with her. You slept with her last night. And today, she fixed your owie. That's what you do when you love someone. My mama did that for…"

"That's enough, Allie." Sara cut her off. I don't know whether it was because she knew what the rest of Allie's answer was going to be or because she didn't know—and had no intention of finding out.

"I can see why you think I'm your mommy's girlfriend Allie," I said. "Right now, we're friends. You know how when you meet someone you've never met before and you take time to get to know them."

She looks at me with confusion.

"Okay, let me put it to you like this, kiddo. If someone you had never met went in your room and wanted to play with your toys, would you let them?"

"They could play with some of them. But not all of them. Some of them are only for me. If I knew 'em I might let 'em play with 'em."

"That's right. And when adults are friends, it's like that too. There are things you do together until you get to know each other better. Then when you know each other better…"

"…you have sex?" This child cannot only be three. My mouth hangs open. This is _so_ not where I envisioned this conversation going.

"Sara? A little help here please?" I'm begging her for help, but she's too busy fighting her own laughter at the situation. I glare at her. "Unless you want me to talk to her about S-E-X I seriously suggest you do something."

Sara walked over and picked Allie up and sat on the couch with her. "Allie, you can't talk about sex with adults. They don't know how to talk about it with kids. And sweetie, you're too young to know about it. Look at how red Catherine's face is," she points to me. "I don't think she's even breathing."

"Then you should give her mouf to mouf like they do on TV."

"No, baby. No mouth to mouth is necessary here." She pulled her little girl close to her and starting running her hand absentmindedly through Allie's hair. "We just have to be careful not to embarrass Catherine anymore. She's much prettier when she's not so red." _Damn. Is she indirectly flirting with me?_


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Cath was still sitting there in stunned silence. "Cath, can you sit with her while I go see Julie? I want to get those papers signed as quickly as I can."

She just smiled and joined us on the couch. "Yeah, go ahead, babe. I've got the munchkin."

I get the distinct impression that Catherine has been flirting with me since last night. And then, just a few minutes ago, after falling on top of her, she flips me over and was on top of me. That comment, _I think I like you better on the bottom_. Yesterday she's telling me that she had me pegged as a top. If I didn't know that the woman was straight… And it hits me. _How do I know she's straight? Until Julie showed up with Allie yesterday, everyone thought I was straight._ Then again, I haven't had the string of boyfriends or men that Catherine has. I have to stop thinking about this.

While I was getting dressed to go and meet with Julie, Catherine asked if it was okay for her to take Allie over to her house. She had some work to do around the house and thought it would be good for Allie to go with her. She said they'd even make dinner for us tonight. How was I supposed to say no to an offer like that. As I saw her walking away, I couldn't help but notice how gingerly and slowly she was walking. Those cuts on the bottom of her foot were definitely going to slow her down. Of course, it wouldn't slow her down enough to keep her out of work. Nothing ever did.

To say that I was nervous about meeting Julie was an understatement. The only thought running through my mind was _what if she's changed her mind and wants Allie back._ I had already resolved that if this was indeed the case I was going to petition to have her removed from the home. Since I wasn't a blood relative, they wouldn't let her stay with me, but there was no way she deserved to live in a home with a junkie mother doing god only knows what to support her habit.

I was sitting in the diner waiting on her when Greg walked in. "Cath called me and said you were meeting Julie here. I thought you could use some support." He slid into the booth beside me. We sat there for a few minutes before she finally showed up.

She was wearing the same clothes she had on the previous day when she dropped Allie off at the crime lab. There were dark circles under her eyes and I for the first time, I realized how gaunt she was. I took a deep breath. Under the table, Greg took my hand in his. There was nothing romantic in his gesture. He was simply being a supportive friend.

"You have the papers?" She asked as she slid into the booth across from us. She was looking nervously around the diner. "What's he doing here? You fucking him now?"

I felt Greg gently squeeze my hand. "I have the papers. You look like you could deal with something to eat. You want something? My treat."

"I don't want your handouts. I want the papers. Where are they? The sooner I sign them, the sooner we're done here."

I slid the papers toward her and Greg pulled a pen from his pocket and slid it over to her.

"I marked where you're supposed to sign and initial."

"I'm not stupid, Sara. Despite what you think about me, I do know how to read."

"In that case, you'll probably want to read the whole thing and see what exactly it is that you're signing." I didn't want her to show up years form now claiming that she had been tricked or anything else.

"As long as it says that I'm giving her to you. That's all it's got to say." She signed and initialed in the spots I had marked. "Did you tell her the truth?"

"Not yet. I will, though. I'm not going to raise our daughter on a lie."

"She's not my daughter now. She's all yours." She slammed the pen down and nearly jumped out of the booth.

I watched as she crossed the street and hugged some woman. At least, I thought it was a woman. She climbed into the clunker of a car she was leaning against and they pealed out of the parking space.

I turned to Greg. "She didn't even ask how Allie was. She didn't second guess her decision or anything. What's wrong with her? How could I have ever been involved with someone like that?"

Most people have no idea how incredibly mature our former lab-rat Greg actually is. He never ceases to amaze me. He released his hold on my hand and put his arm around my shoulder before saying, "You should be glad you were involved with her. Imagine what would have happened to Allie if you hadn't." He was right. But he obviously wasn't done yet. "Not to mention the fact that Catherine now realizes who you are and is trying to be your friend."

I moved out of the booth and slid into the seat across from Greg. "Oh. She more than realizes who I am." I go on to fill him in on the events of the last twenty-four hours. The flirting. The touching. The sexual innuendo. "Greg, I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say she's interested in me. I'm usually dead-on when it comes to this stuff. I can't read Catherine. I swear I thought she was straight. Now, I just don't know."

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "Why don't you find out?"

Like I haven't thought of that myself. "How do you suggest I do that?"

"Work the old Sidle charm on her. You're always bragging about how you can have any woman you want. See if you can get her."

"Greg, this is a little different. I work with Catherine. She has a kid. Now I have a kid. She's not some woman I can pick up in a bar for a quick fuck and then sneak out before she wakes up. This is Catherine we're talking about here."

"Would it be easier for you to do if we put a bet on it?" He's joking. I know he's joking. "Say, $50?" He's not kidding. He's serious. "Not enough? How about $100?" He's really fucking serious. "Alright, I know what every new mother wants. How about I offer up free babysitting for a month? Does that sound better?"

"Greg, I'm not going to place a bet with you on whether or not I can win over Catherine."

"Well, do you mind if me and the guys bet on it?" He's joking. I know he's joking.


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

**A/N:** Updates will probably be coming a little less frequently. School starts back Monday and for some strange reason, my principal expects me to teach the kids—something about a contract and getting paid to do a job.

_Catherine's POV_

I haven't really been home in two days. I was more than grateful that Sara was okay with me bringing Allie home with me. Not that she should've had a problem with it considering the fact that I am taking care of _her_ daughter.

Lindsey is at school and afterwards she's heading over to a friend's house. So once again, I'm not going to see my little girl. Then again, she's not much of a little girl these days. Fourteen going on thirty. She's had to experience so much. I know that's a big part of the reason she's turned out the way she has. But I still think I've done a damn good job raising her considering everything we've both been through.

Allie is sitting on the floor in front of the television all frog-legged and eating dry cereal out of a bowl. She's so adorable. I can't help but remember what Linds was like when she was Allie's age. Then again, that was a lifetime ago.

I've been busy doing laundry and cleaning the bathrooms for the last two hours. I hadn't expected Sara to take this long. She was only supposed to see this Julie character and have her sign the papers. Thank god I sent Greg with her.

After finishing my household chores, Allie and I decided to cook dinner. We've decided on eggplant parmesan and a salad. God only knows when the kid is ever going to have meat. It's just not right. People were not meant to survive on vegetables alone. Meat was good enough for the cavemen. But ever since Sara sat up with Grissom and that stupid pig, she's never touched meat again. A vegetarian. She says it's healthier than eating meat. I don't agree. She should try looking in a mirror sometime.

I have Allie on the counter while I'm cutting veggies for the salad when I hear a knock at the door. Allie smiles and says, "Mommy's here! Mommy's here!"

I hold my arms out to her and she grabs my neck and sits on my hip. "Let's go get that door."

I open the door and there stands Sara—looking completely defeated. She looks up at me and gives me a weak smile before holding out her arms to take her baby. "Come on in, Sar," I say to her as I move aside and motion for her to come in.

She walks in, with her head held down, and just stands there. "Go have a seat. I'm putting the finishing touches on dinner."

"Cath, I know you probably went to a lot of trouble, but I just want to go home. Seeing J-U-L-I-E for the second time in two days was a little too much. She didn't even ask about her," she said as she nodded her head toward Allie. "I don't know what I ever saw in her. Anyway, I just want to go home and be with Allie. Is that okay?"

"Sara, I have to work tonight and I spent all afternoon watching your daughter and cooking. And now you just want to take her and go home?" I was tired and angry. And now, I was just hurt. I walked over to the refrigerator and pulled a sheet of paper down to write some names and numbers on. I walked back to Sara and handed it to her. "These are the numbers of some decent babysitters. Nancy's name and number are on there as well. She knows about your situation and said she'd be happy to help whenever she could." I turned and walked back toward the kitchen. "Have a good night, Sara. I'll see you in a few days when you come back to work."

I could feel her standing there looking at me. I refused to turn around and look at her. I felt someone throw their weight against my legs. "Thank you for spending time with me, Caferin. You have good movies," she said as she looked up at me. "Maybe my mommy will get me some like those."

Sara walked over and picked her up, "Come on, Allie. Quit bothering Catherine. We're going home."

She didn't say _thank you._ She didn't say _I'll call you later._ She didn't say _See you at work._ But everything in her body language and the look she did give me said _Fuck you, Catherine._


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I should have known that Catherine being nice to me was going to be short-lived. How could I expect her to be my friend? Better yet, why would I expect her to be my friend? She's been a bitch towards me since day one. And you know what they say about leopards and spots. Or is tigers and their stripes? I can't remember. Either one is an apt analogy for how I'm feeling about Catherine right now.

Anyway, she's just Catherine. That means nice to bitch in less than zero seconds. I'm not even sure that there's a degree of measurement so minute that could measure how quickly she makes that transition. Maybe we should measure it in Sidle time since I'm the only one I've ever seen her pull that move on.

I'm not even sure why she was so mad. I know she went to the trouble of cooking. I know she watched Allie for me all day. But she didn't have to face a strung-out ex to get custody of her daughter.

She didn't spend the last few hours sitting there with Greg drinking coffee after coffee trying to figure out how I'm going to manage being a single mom.

Greg had a solution. He thinks I should marry him. Yeah, right. Marrying Greg will solve so many problems—in addition to creating a whole host of others. I told him I'd entertain the thought. I'm sure that by the time I show back up for work in a few days, he will have told the entire lab that we're getting married. I guess I could do worse. There's Hodges. There's Ecklie. Okay, I think I just made myself sick _even_ thinking that.

Catherine didn't even bother asking how things went with Julie. She has no idea. _Maybe if you had sat down and eaten the dinner she cooked, she would've asked._

She threw it in my face that she spent the better part of the day watching after Allie. _Did you even bother to thank her for doing that? Or did you just ask like she owed it to you? _

Catherine doesn't owe me a fucking thing. _Not one fucking thing._

I guess all that flirting went right out the window. _Right along with your little talk with Greg and his encouragement to pursue Catherine. What does he know about women? Obviously not much—how many women have any of us ever seen him with?_ _Of course, how much do you know about women? You didn't even know that Sofia was gay and you can't even decipher if Catherine is sending you signals. And even if she was, they were probably just meant to fuck with your head anyway. And when's the last time you had sex? Forget sex, when's the last time you had a real date? _

I'm snapped out of my reflections by the quiet sounds of a child crying. I push the door open to Allie's room and stick my head inside, "Baby, are you okay? It sounds like you're crying."

She sniffles a few more times and then says, "Why is Caferin mad at me? We cooked and then we had to leave. We didn't even get to eat. She cooked your favorite too, mommy."

I moved to her bed and sat down. "Catherine is not mad at you sweetie. She let you help her cook?"

"Uh-huh. I told her how to cut the green things she put in the bowl. I don't think she knew how to do it 'til I told her what to do."

"You mean a salad? You helped her make a salad?"

"Uh-huh."

"Is that what she says is my favorite?"

"No, she said Egg something farma something. I think it was eggs and cheese. It smelled good."

"Was it eggplant parmesan?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

I smiled down at her, "I just know stuff. I pretty much know _everything_. Don't forget that."

"But mommy, you didn't tell me why Caferin is mad."

"She's mad because your mommy is stupid. I was mean to Catherine when I picked you up."

"Why would you be mean to Caferin? She's so nice to us. She even cut her feet to rescue me today. She even cooks and cleans." Suddenly, my daughter is Catherine's greatest defender. Just what I need. _Traitor_.

"Allie, why do you like Catherine so much?" I'm a bit annoyed with how fond she is of Catherine.

"She's purdy. She has purdy hair. She smells. Not bad smell, but good smell. And she likes you."

"It's time for you to go to sleep, sweetie," I pulled the covers up to her chin and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Sweet dreams, my Allie girl."

I stood in the doorway watching her sleep until I heard her breathing start to even out.

Five minutes later, I was on the couch with a glass of wine in one hand and the phone in the other.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Come on, Sof. Pick up the phone. How many times does the bloody thing have to ring before you're going to answer it? Damn, voice mail. Okay, I'll try again. The phone rings and rings going to voice mail again. One more time, then I'll give up and forget about it.

"This better be fucking good," she said breathlessly as she answered the phone.

"Sofia! Thank god. I've been trying to call and you didn't answer. It kept going to voice mail."

"I was, and still am, a little busy, Sara. It's the first night off I've had in a while," Sofia attempted to explain.

"Good, you're off. Come over here and keep me company. I think I majorly fucked up with Catherine today."

"Sar, I don't think you understand. I said I was, and still am busy. First night off in a while. If you were dating someone, what would you be doing right now?"

I can hear murmurings in the background. It dawns on me. I interrupted them. Talk about your coitus interruptus.

"Oh."

"Is that all you can say, Sidle? Oh? When was the last time you had sex?"

I hear who I believe to be Wendy in the background telling Sofia that my sex life is none of her business. And then I hear her ask if I've answered yet.

"I don't see why that's important." I need to deflect this conversation away from myself—something I'm very talented at doing. Then again, I'm dealing with one of the finest detectives in Vegas—and she's trained to keep the discussion going in one direction. And right now, that directions seems to be a discussion of my sex life. _What the fuck—might as well tell her so she'll shut up about it._ "I'm not sure."

"Oh that is a cop-out my dear Sara. Every woman—especially every hot, young woman—knows when the last time she had sex was. So spill. When was it?" 

"Who's the president again? I think Reagan was in office…"

"Whatever. Are we talking a month?" I don't respond. "Two months?" I still don't respond. "Three months?" I'm sure she's going to think I hung up on her shortly. "Sara, how long since you …"

"Seven months! Okay? Seven months! Happy now? Look, I've been busy. I work a lot. I can't help…"

She interrupted me. "Seven months? That's like what? Four years to a dog, right? Jesus Sidle. No wonder you're always so moody. You need to get you some lovin' girl! And Wendy and I have decided it should be Catherine to dust the old cobwebs away."

"Cobwebs? You can be so crude sometimes, Sofia. What Wendy sees in you is beyond me! Having sex with Catherine is the farthest thing from my mind." _Having sex with her might be, but fucking her until she's like jello is right there at the front of my mind. **Where did that come from?!?**_

A different voice speaks into the phone and I can hear Sofia in a fit of laughter in the background. "What I see in Sofia? Hmmm…Right now the only thing I see in her are my fingers. Now, go get your own, Sar and let me get back to getting mine." The line disconnects.

Oh. My. God. Did Wendy just say that to me?


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

_**Three days later in the lab…**_

It's been three days since Sara pulled her little stunt. I knew she'd be tired and emotionally drained after having to see her ex. That's the reason I took Allie to my house. We cleaned and then cooked Sara's favorite meal. It's not like Sara ever told me it was her favorite meal, but I overheard her telling Greg about this Italian restaurant she had been to that had served this dish and how she hadn't had her favorite dish that well-prepared in a long time.

I had a really good time with Allie. She's so inquisitive and good-natured. I hope she doesn't "inherit" Sara's surliness just by living with her.

But to just show up, pick Allie up, and say she was tired and wanted to go home. It's no wonder the woman barely has friends if this is how she treats them. I just wanted to scream at her. But no, instead, I give her the numbers of several babysitters—including my sister—and tell her I'll see her in a few days. And her reaction when Allie hugged me bye—the woman was pissed with me. And for what? I had done nothing for two days but try to make her life a bit easier and help her. She thinks I'm a cold-hearted bitch. And to think, I was considering whether or not I was attracted to her! I'm much too old to be playing games with Sara. If she wants to fuck with someone's head, she find someone else be her guinea pig. I'm not going to be it. I've spent all these years holding her at arm's length and I've gotten by just fine. I try to help her out and I get treated like I had done something wrong. Obviously, when it comes to Sara Sidle, good fences do make good neighbors. But only if those fences have razor wire on top of them and sharp shooters in guard towers every one hundred yards.

"Cath, are you standing there guarding the coffee or can the rest of us have some, too?" Nick asks. I hadn't even realized I was still standing there staring into my coffee because I had been so caught up fuming over _her. _"I'm sure it's got to be bad for the old face muscles for you to wear that scowl much longer," he grins as he looks over at me. I know he's trying to lighten the tense mood in the break room. "If you have something on your mind, you can always share. You know I'm a great listener."

"No thanks, Nick. Everything is just peachy," I say as I flash him one of my 1000 watt smiles. "Just peachy!"

I move to exit the room and seek the solitude of my office. "When Griss gets here with assignments, will you come and get me? I'll be in my office."

"Sure thing."

I turn to make my hasty retreat and run smack dab into the one person I had hoped I wouldn't have to see. I know that my anger still hasn't subsided and I really don't want to take it out on her. Now, I have no choice. She just spilled my coffee all over me.

"Fuck, Sara. Do you ever fucking pay attention to what you're doing? Did you see me standing here? Or is expecting you to pay attention asking a _little too much_ of you?" There we go! Get angry! Throw her own words in her face. Yell at her! Let her know what you think of her.

"Cath, it's just coffee. Calm down. There's no need for you to attack Sara like that." I know Nick means well by trying to intervene. But it just means he'll get my wrath, too.

I turn and glare at him. "Why don't you just stay out of this, pretty boy?"

I turn back to Sara who's still just standing there, looking like a kid who just saw her kitty get crushed by an eighteen wheeler.

I storm past her and head to the locker room. If she's got any sense at all, she'll stay in the break room. As I'm pulling my shirt over my head, I hear the locker room door open. I guess she just confirmed that she has no sense at all.

"Catherine, I—"

I slam my locker door shut and turn around to face her. "You what?"

"I just wanted to, uh, apologize."

"Apologize? For spilling coffee all over me. Hot coffee? Fine, Sara. You did your little apology. Now you can just leave."

"No," she says firmly to me. "I'm not leaving yet."

I still haven't put my clean shirt on. I'm standing in front of her in just my bra. I walk over to her. I get right in her face. I stick my finger out and say, "I told you to leave. Now. Leave." I poke her right in the chest.

She flinches slightly at the touch of my fingertip on her chest. I can't stand getting poked like that and I'm betting on the fact that she probably doesn't either.

She takes a step toward me and repeats herself. "No. I'm not leaving yet."

I turn my back to her and walk back towards the bench where I left my one clean shirt. I'm stopped short by her. She grabs my arm. "Don't walk way from me."

"Sara, let go of me." She has a firm grip on my arm. The heat and pressure of her hand on my arm both scares me and turns me on at the same time. I don't turn around to face her. I can't look at her. I'm still pissed with her. I'm still pissed with her. _Just keep saying that to yourself, Cath._

She's standing so close to me, I can feel the heat radiating from her body. I close my eyes. I'm ready to last out at her. I'm fighting every impulse in my body that is telling me to turn around and leaving a lasting impression on the side of her face.

She releases my arm from her grip. "Don't walk away from me. Don't make the same mistake I made a few nights ago when I walked away from you."

"Sara, just…"

"Shhh. Please let me finish. I should have never left the other night. I was so drained from dealing with Julie that all I wanted was to go home and escape. I never stopped to think that that was the reason why you had done everything you did that day and the day before. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I took your friendship for granted. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

I turn to face her and I see the saddest face I've ever seen. Forget the one earlier about the kid whose kitty just got smashed by an eighteen wheeler. Make that a kid whose kitty, puppy, and pet bunny were all just smashed by that same eighteen wheeler while she stood there and watched her parakeet fly into the windshield of the same truck.

I slide my arms around her and pull her into a hug.

"Uh, Cath?"

"Yeah, Sara?"

"Think you could put your shirt on?"

"What?" I say as I pull back from the hug. "You have to be the only person in this entire lab that would complain about hugging me with only a bra on?"

She just smiled at me and turned to leave. As she left, I swear I heard her say, _Oh, I'm not complaining._


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Four weeks have passed since the evening that Sara apologized. I accepted her apology, but I don't forget things that easily. Actually, I seldom if ever forget anything. Alright, I'll be honest. I _never_ forget anything.

I've wanted to ask her for breakfast or lunch or to come over with Allie so many times, but I haven't. And I don't know what's stopping me. Six years of being a bitch to her never fazed me but after just two days of being nice to her, I was ready to skin her alive for what was really an acceptable reaction to a rotten fucking day.

I made up my mind today when I was cleaning the house. I'm going to stop putting off asking her to do something. I have the weekend off and I know she has Saturday off. I thought it would be nice to ask her & Allie to go to Lake Mead with Lindsey and me. We could have a nice picnic and maybe do a little hiking--or as much hiking as a three year old will allow.

I notice Sara's car is already in the parking lot when I make it into work. I immediately seek her out. I check the locker room and _her lab_ but she's not there. I stick my head in the break room and find Greg making one of his special pots of coffee. "That smells good. Have you seen Sara?"

"Forty smackeroos a pound and it better smell good! As for your Sara, check Wendy's lab."

"She's not _my_ Sara," I corrected him.

"Whatever you say, Cath," he grins and gives me a knowing wink. _What the hell!_

I walk down the hall and try to find Sara before shift starts and assignments are handed out. I can hear her laugh all the way down the hall as I get closer to Wendy's lab. The two are in an animated discussion. I stand back so that they can't see me. I know it's bad, but I really want to eavesdrop on their conversation.

_Wendy: Have you said anything yet?_

_Sara: I wish you two would leave me alone about it. If it's gonna happen, it will happen without your interference._

_Wendy: You're a total chicken shit. Sofia was right. If we leave this up to the two of you, it'll never happen._

_Sara: Wendy, you have to stay out of it. I'm not even sure how she feels since the day I left. The last thing I need is for you two to think that there's something there that's really not there. You go trying to fix me up with her and all it may do is backfire and cost me bigtime._

_Wendy: All I'm saying…all we're saying…is that one of you has to make a move…and soon._

_Sara: I don't think she feels the same way that I do and I'm not going to put myself out there to get hurt. I can't do that._

_Wendy: If you don't try, then you'll never know will you?_

_Sara: So how did you and Wendy finally hook up?_

_Wendy: It was Catherine's fault, actually. I had been dropping hints for months after I first moved here. Flirting with her and getting nowhere. I set my sights elsewhere—and got lucky! Very lucky!_

_Sara: I know. Remember the phone conversation a few weeks ago?_

_Wendy: You would not believe how incredibly flexible and agile that woman is! And let me tell you, it comes in handy having a detective with handcuffs at the ready._

Perfect time for me to interrupt this conversation. I step into the lab and say, "What's this about handcuffs?"

Sara blushes a deep shade of crimson but Wendy starts to explain. "I was just telling Sara that it's advantageous to date a cop because of the handcuffs."

If Sara blushed at me asking about handcuffs, I wonder what she'll do when I say, "I've always preferred a nice, satin scarf to handcuffs. Less chafing and you don't have to explain the restraint marks to your coworkers."

Sara literally gasped at my statement while Wendy just bellowed, "You must be some wild ride in the sack, Cath."

I winked at Wendy and turned to Sara and said, "Yippy ki ay!"


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I turned to look at Wendy who was still laughing at Catherine's comment. "What was that all about?"

Wendy suddenly turned very serious. "Sara, if you don't know what that was about, I'm not about to tell you."

"Was she flirting with me?" I didn't want to misread anything Catherine was saying or doing. Thank god I had a witness to whatever it was that had just happened. And since that witness was Wendy, I'm sure I can count on her to number one, explain it to me, and number two, tell Sofia so she can explain it to me again.

"Sara, her eyes never left yours. She said she preferred satin to handcuffs. And then, she said 'yippy ki ay' to you. She wasn't flirting with you, dear. She was coming on to your ass!"

"No she wasn't." She couldn't have been. Was she?

"That woman was coming on to you and you better do something about it soon."

I turned to leave the lab and then stopped and turned around to face Wendy again. "What should I do?"

"If she asks you to do _anything_, you need to accept. If she doesn't ask you to do anything by the end of this shift, you need to ask her to do _something_."

"What about the kids? I can't just do shit these days. I have a kid. She has a kid."

"Take the kids with you two. It makes it safe. And you won't have to worry about her jumping your bones right then and there."

"Is sex all you ever think about, Wendy?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear what you said. I was too busy thinking about sex." She smiled and I left.

I was either going to ask Catherine to do something or I was going to do whatever she asked me to do. But it can't be a date. I can't call it a date. As I'm trying to decide what I can ask her to do, my pager goes off. It's Catherine. We have a case.

We drive to the casino and work our scene like clockwork. We're both consummate professionals on the job and work very easily together. I'd go so far as to say we're a flawless team. I'd put the two of us up against any other team in the country and would bet money that we would come out on top. We work so quickly that we're back at the lab with time to spare before our shift is over. We hand off our evidence to various people and then go our separate ways.

Wendy and Sofia are right. I am a chicken shit.

I'm sitting on the bench in front of my locker with my head in my hands. I didn't even hear anyone enter the room.

I decide I need to get up off the bench and change before heading home after what feels like an eternity of sitting there. As soon as I lift my eyes, I see Catherine standing there in front of me against the lockers.

"Cath? How long have you been here?"

"A few minutes. I have to admit. I'm a bit disappointed. I would've hoped that you'd have noticed I was here before you ever looked up."

"Sorry. I guess I was just wrapped up in my own thoughts."

"Anything you care to share?"

"Thanks, but, don't take this the wrong way, okay? It's something I'm not ready to talk about."

"No problem, Sar. But I do have something I need to talk to you about. Actually something I need to ask you."

I sit up straight and stiffen my shoulders. "What's that?"

"I was wondering if you and Allie would like to join Linds and me up at Lake Mead Saturday? We're going to do a picnic and maybe a little hiking. I thought it would be nice for you and …"

"We'd love to," I say as I spring up from the bench. "I mean, sure, we'd be happy to go. You want me to drive? I know this great spot where we can have the picnic and then some decent trails that aren't too strenuous."

She smiles at me. "You know, I think that would be perfect. You drive and I'll pack the picnic lunch."

I stick my hands in my pockets because I have nothing else to do with them. "It's a date then." _Oh shit. Did I just say it was a date out loud._

I look up only to see Catherine smiling. "A date, huh?" I want to die on the spot. This is totally not what she had in mind. She doesn't think of it as a date.

"I'm sorry, Cath. I didn't mean to call it a date. Of course, it's not a date."

"Of course it's not. The kids are with us," she says as she turns to leave the locker room. "Next time, we'll leave them with a sitter."

I almost snap several vertebrae as I spin my head quickly in her direction. But she's already gone, having left me thinking of the _next time_ when we haven't even gotten through a simple picnic.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I don't know how I managed to make it through the day and come back to work tonight. I agreed to do something with Catherine this weekend. Actually, I agreed for me and Allie to go to Lake Mead with her and Linds. I made some stupid ass comment about it being a date—which is a common thing to say after two people make arrangements to do something together whether it's platonic or romantic. And when I tried to backpedal and explain what I meant, she called me on it and said that it really wasn't a date because we were going to have the kids with us and that next time we'd leave them with a sitter.

I spent most of the day contemplating what that meant. Did that mean that we were really going to go on a date? Did that mean that Catherine had asked me out? Did that mean that she was really interested in me?

What did it all mean? I can't possibly ask her and I'm not about to ask Sofia or Wendy. Those two are, well, for lack of a better description I'll just say that they're made for one another.

I'm trying to make my way to the break room for some coffee when I hear voices coming from Catherine's office. She's in early today. That's unusual for her. She usually spends as much time as she can with Lindsey. Then again, I'm not one to talk. I'm here early too.

The blinds are drawn in her office so I can't see who it is that she's talking to. Fortunately, since the blinds are closed, it affords me the opportunity to stand close to her door and listen in on her conversation. I'm sure this is what she did yesterday when I was talking to Wendy. There is no way she'd have the timing to walk in on that conversation at the very moment we were talking about handcuffs. I'm just hoping that standing here will give me something to embarrass her with like she did me with the satin scarf and chafing comments.

After standing there for a moment, I realize who it is that she's talking to—Sofia. Great! This ought to be good! I settle in to listen to their conversation.

_Sofia: So…_

_Catherine: Alright, Alright. I asked her to go to Lake Mead with Linds and me this Saturday. Actually I asked her and Allie to go with us._

_Sofia: So is this a date?_

_Catherine: I dunno. I think it's a possible pre-date._

_Sofia: What the hell is a pre-date?_

_Catherine: It comes before a date. I just don't know for sure that she is interested._

_Sofia: I think I can promise you that she's interested._

_Catherine: Has she, uh, said something to you?_

_Sofia: Now you know I can't betray her trust. All I'm saying is this. You don't need to worry._

_Catherine: Okay. There is something even bigger that I'm worried about though, Sof._

_Sofia: What's that?_

_Catherine: (whispering) kissing…touching…sex_

_Sofia: You've never?_

_Catherine: No. Not with a woman. And I'm worried. If…and that's a big big big if…we get to that point, how am I supposed to know what to do? And what if I do something wrong?_

_Sofia: (laughing) Oh my god. Wendy and I were certain that you'd have at least made out with a woman or two in your day. I mean, given your former profession._

_Catherine: So you and Wendy sit around and talk about me?_

_Sofia: Well, we don't exactly sit around and talk, blondie. But yeah, you and Sara have been a topic of conversation as late._

_Catherine: Really? Anything you care to share with me? I mean, if you're going to talk about me the least you can do is tell me what you're saying._

_Sofia: Just that the two of you need to get off this merry-go-round and get down to business. You two have been on the same dance floor for the last six years. In the last couple of months, you've at least been hearing the same song. Now, you need to start dancing the same dance. _

_Catherine: Men are so much easier. Flash 'em a smile. Shake your ass. Bounce your boobs. You know instantly if they're attracted to you. Sara's just…well, Sara. She runs hot and cold. I don't want to pursue her. That's not the role I'm comfortable in. I want to sit back and let her take charge. But I'm getting the feeling that if I wait on her to make a move…well, I might just be waiting a while._

_Sofia: Even if she makes you wait, she'll be worth it._

_Catherine: Wait a minute! (voice raised) Do you mean to tell me that you slept with Sara?_

I figure that now might be a good time to save Sofia.

"Who slept with me?" I say to both of them as I walk into the room.

Both women turn and stare at me. Sofia nods her head at me and ducks out of the room. Catherine suddenly finds her shoes very interesting and avoids looking me in the eyes. "How long were you listening to our conversation?"

"I'm not sure. Just how long were you two talking?" She immediately blushes.

"I, uh…we…were…uh…talking about a case." She knows instantly that I don't buy her lie.

I take a few steps toward her. My confidence, however faulty in the past regarding Catherine, is now back. I can say and do whatever I want when it comes to her. I know that now. And she's about to know a few things, too.

She looks up and sees me walking toward her. She's nervous and scared. I like that. She turns her back to me and starts to put some paperwork in her filing cabinet. Perfect. I instantly close the distance between us and stand as close as I can without letting my body touch hers. Her movements still.

I reach out and run my fingertips down her arm. "Kissing…touching…sex." I feel her shudder under my touch. I bend my mouth to her ear and whisper, "I promise you'll enjoy all of it" I fight the urge to nibble on her earlobe and settle, instead, for a kiss on her neck.

She's still standing there facing that filing cabinet and barely breathing as I leave her office with a satisfied smile on my face. I'm going to enjoy this—maybe a little too much.


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

After several minutes of standing in her office doing nothing other than breathing, Catherine turned around to find that she was alone.

"Damn her. How am I supposed to make it through an entire shift now?" Catherine was now talking to herself.

She was just about to sink into her desk chair and start working on some overdue paperwork when her pager went off. _Grissom_.

She went in search of the older man and found him in the break room with the rest of the team. "You paged me?" she asked as she entered the room.

"Yes. I'm about to hand out assignments. I thought you'd like to be here. You should have been in here ten minutes ago." She wasn't in the mood for Grissom to chastise her.

"Save your lecture for someone else. I'm not in the mood for it tonight, Gil. Just give me my assignment so I can go and do my job." Although she hadn't taken her eyes off of Gil, she could feel Sara watching her.

"Fine. You and Sara have a double out in Henderson. Go do your jobs, ladies."

Catherine just rolled her eyes as she snatched the assignment sheet out of Grissom's hand and stormed out of the room, yelling over her shoulder, "You coming Sidle or are you going to spend the day with your ass on the couch?"

"Good luck, Sar," Nick said to her as she got up to leave the break room.

"Glad it's not me," Greg said to her retreating form.

"Her bark is worse than her bite," Sara said before trailing off down the hall after Catherine.

She finally caught up with her down the hall and said, "Would you mind driving?"

Catherine spun and looked at her, "I thought you always wanted to drive, Sara."

"I usually do. Today, I think I'd rather enjoy the drive than have to fight the traffic."

"Uh, sure," she said as she unlocked the Denali and we climbed in.

They had been on the road maybe ten minutes when Catherine decided that Sara had been staring at her long enough.

"What are you doing?" Catherine asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're staring at me. And you have been since we left the lab."

"I'm not staring—I'm admiring you."

"Admiring? Yeah, right."

Sara shifted in her seat so that her entire body was facing Catherine. "You're incredibly sexy, you know that?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said you're incredibly sexy. Everything about you is sexy, actually. The way you walk. The way you carry yourself. Your body," Sara paused. "Actually, your body isn't sexy."

Catherine was offended that Sara didn't think she was sexy. She had always thought that despite her age and the fact that she had given birth to a child, she was incredibly sexy. "You don't think my body is sexy?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and her hurt immediately registered with Sara.

"Actually, no. I don't think sexy is an apt description of your body. Amazing. Stunning. A wonder of nature. Goddess like. Those come a bit closer."

Catherine was blushing. Her grip on the steering wheel had tightened and her eyes were clearly focused on the road.

"How does it feel, Cath?" Sara asked as she reached across the console and started twirling a string of Catherine's hair around her fingers.

"How...uh…how do … how does what feel?"

"How does it feel to walk around and know that everyone is looking at you? That they all want you. And that you can have anyone," Sara snaps her fingers, "just like that."

Catherine lightly chuckles. It's a nervous laugh, but a laugh, nonetheless. "I'm single and I haven't had sex in six months. I'd hardly say that I could have anyone I want or that anyone would want me."

They had arrived at their crime scene and each opened their door and moved to the back of the Denali to get their kit. Sara leaned over Catherine, reaching to grab hers and said, "Mmmmm. You not only look good, you feel good, too. It's a shame we have a scene to process."

For the second time in less than an hour, Sara had managed to leave a shuddering Catherine behind her as she walked away.


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Okay. What the hell was that? First she corners me in my office and …I'm trembling just remembering the sensation of her fingertips moving down my arm as she whispered into my ear. _"Kissing…touching…sex. I promise you'll enjoy all of it."_ As I recall the memory of her warm lips pressed against my flesh, I instinctively caress the spot on my neck where she planted that chaste kiss.

"Catherine? Are you going to help Sara process the scene or are you going to stand out here with that grin on your face all day?" Sofia asked with a smirk.

As I started walking toward the house, she met me halfway and tried to strike up a conversation. "So, what happened after I left your office?" 

"Huh?" I didn't know how I was going to process this scene if I couldn't even string some coherent thoughts together. "What are you talking about Sofia?"

"You play dumb so poorly, Cath. Sara came in. She started talking. I left. Any of this ringing a bell for you? What happened after I left?"

I just smiled at her. I couldn't tell her what had happened. Hell, I still wasn't sure what had happened. The ride over here. Pressing her body against me as she reached for her kit.

"So, Sidle is finally putting the moves on you?"

I felt so stupid. I had totally lost the ability to speak. I just smiled at her again.

"Well, it's about damn time."

Sofia left me alone to work the perimeter of the house as she questioned neighbors. I was just hoping that the libidinous thoughts I was having of Sara wouldn't interfere with my ability to process a scene. After finishing up outside, I moved inside the house. I didn't notice Sara anywhere and called out for her.

Just as I was about to open the door leading to the garage and look for her in there, a strong arm wrapped around my waist and I was pulled backwards. I felt my body betray me and immediately react to the feel of Sara pressed against my back. "Where do you think you're going?" She said huskily into my ear.

I couldn't respond. All I could do was feel. Feel warmth. Feel her. Feel…desired. Is this what it felt like to have Sara want you?

Her grip around my waist loosened and I spun around to face her. She spoke again. "I asked you where you thought you were going?"

I found my voice, weak as it was. "I was going to process the garage."

"No, you're not."

I stared at her in confusion. "I'm not?"

"No, you're not."

"I'm finished outside. I was looking for something to do in here."

"If you want something to do in here, then you can come and help me in the bedroom. It's always better when the two of us do it anyway."

_Was she talking about processing the scene or thinking ahead to other things?_


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

How we managed to finish processing that scene without me pushing her against a wall and having my way with her is beyond me. We loaded our evidence and kits up in the truck and started our trek back towards the lab. I wasn't quite done having fun with Catherine yet.

"Cath, can I ask you a question?" She was locked in a car with me for the next half hour. There was no way she could avoid me. She might just sit there and say nothing, but even her failing to say anything would speak volumes.

She merely nodded her head.

"You were an exotic dancer, right?"

"Don't make it sound more glamorous than it was. I was a stripper. Plain and simple. Of course, I was a damn good stripper," she said as she winked at me. Good, she was feeling a bit more at ease. "Why do you ask?"

"With another woman…did you ever…you know?"

"I'm sorry, you'll have to be a little more specific. Did I ever have drinks with another woman? Dinner with another woman?"

_That's it, Sara. Let her think you're shy again so she gets all smug and confident._

"No, what I want to know is if you've ever actually been with another woman?"

"Been with another woman?" Damn her. She's starting to piss me off. I know she knows exactly what I'm asking her.

"Yes, been with another woman. Had a woman run her tongue over every silky inch of flesh on your body? Had a woman slowly work her way down your body while you begged her to move quicker? Had a woman bring you the type of pleasure that only a woman knows how to give another woman? Or even had another woman kiss you?"

I think she's stopped breathing. Her face is flushed and I swear her body just quivered. I reach out and place my hand on her thigh and say, "So, the question was have you ever had a woman make love to you?"

She doesn't answer me immediately. In fact, she doesn't answer me at all. We finish our drive to the lab in silence. I never took my hand off of her thigh though. And she never pushed it off or said anything about it.

She pulled into the parking lot and slammed the Denali into park before opening the door and practically jumping out of the truck.

I sigh heavily and hang my head. I think I might have just fucked up.

I open the door to the Denali and get out. Catherine already has her kit and is just a few steps away from the truck. I watch her retreating figure in the darkness before walking around to the back of the Denali to get my kit. Just as I close the rear gate and turn to walk into the lab, I find myself forcibly pushed back against the Denali.

Catherine is strong for such a small woman. "Catherine, what the …"

My question is silenced as she grabs my shirt and pulls me toward her. Our faces are so close that I can feel her breath on me. She searches my eyes and obviously finds something she likes because before I can blink, she's closed the distance and our lips are tangled in a delicate dance.

Despite my desire to control this moment—to kiss her the way I've imagined kissing her so many times—I allow her to set the pace. I'm a willing participant in the kiss but I'm not the aggressor. Her grip on my shirt hasn't let up at all as she's pressed her body even harder against mine and has now managed to gently suck my bottom lip into her mouth.

_Oh my god. I think I just moaned_.

She pulls back and I'm standing there with my mouth hanging open, my eyes dark with desire and the overwhelming urge to pull her back to me and finish what she has no idea she has started.

She's just smirking at me. She stands on the tips of her toes and kisses me on the cheek before saying, "I have kissed another woman."


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

All of her teasing was just too much. And then to start in on that whole line of questioning about having been with a woman. Sara's like a good lawyer. She seldom, if ever, asks a question that she doesn't already know the answer to. When she came in my officer earlier tonight with that whole _kissing…touching…sex…_ comment I knew she had heard every word of my conversation with Sofia. And then for her to start that shit in the truck when I couldn't do anything about it! What was I going to do—make her jump from a moving vehicle?

I think I shocked the shit out of her by kissing her like that. Hell, I shocked myself by kissing her like that. In fact, she's so shocked that she hasn't even made it inside the building yet. I've already dropped my evidence off and am sitting in the locker room trying to calm my nerves when I hear the door open. I didn't actually see or hear anyone walk in. Whoever it was obviously changed their mind instead of their shirt. I sit and laugh at my own little joke. Speaking of shirts, I realize I should probably change mine. Gathering evidence in the heat of Las Vegas leaves you rather sweaty.

Just as I'm pulling my shirt over my head, the power goes out. The power goes out and my other senses kick into overdrive. I sense that I'm not alone. This is confirmed when a hand covers my mouth and I'm pulled backwards towards the showers. I'm trying hard not to panic because I _know _this is Sara. I _know_ she's trying to pay me back for that kiss in the parking lot. My heart is pounding in my chest and my breathing is ragged. I'm really _hoping_ that this is Sara. I close my eyes trying to steady my breathing so that I don't have a panic attack.

In that instant, I find myself pushed up against one of the shower walls. My captor still has _her_ hand over my mouth. It always works to my advantage to try and turn a situation around. I tell myself to totally relax against the body behind me. _Her_ arm around my waist is still gripping me tightly but the one covering my mouth has eased up a bit. With my tongue, I start to make circles on the palm of her hand and I turn my head so that I can trace one of _her_ fingers with my tongue. Instead of _her_ hand loosening over my mouth, it tightens. My first thought is that maybe this isn't Sara.

My captor uses _her_ grip over my mouth to turn my head slightly, exposing my neck. She lowers her to my neck and starts to massage my pulse point with her tongue. I moan in pleasure at the feeling of _her_ tongue on my skin. Somehow _she_ has managed to work her hand under my top and is making lazy motions across my stomach with her fingertips. _She_ is driving me insane. _Oh my god, I think I just whimpered at her touch. _

_Her_ hand starts to move further south. Just as _her_ finger tips edge under the waistband of my pants, I bite _her_ hand. Just hard enough to get her attention.

_She_ takes _her_ hand away from my mouth and the other away from my stomach. She grabs my hands in hers and forces them across my body, pulling me even tighter against her.

"In the parking lot. What you did. I liked that. But I have to tell you Catherine," she tightened her grip on me, "it's hard to pursue someone when they are constantly making the first moves."

I didn't know how to respond. I felt scared and oddly turned on by this side of Sara. She was forceful, dominant, commanding—definitely someone I could totally submit to without hesitation.

She started speaking again. "We're going to play by my rules now. Understand?" She turned me around to face her. "Do you understand, Catherine?"

I could only nod in agreement. Her hands found my hips and she roughly pushed me against the wall again. This was her show. Her rules. And here I was just thinking that I was lucky to have a piece on the gameboard.

She kept her eyes on mine as she simply said, "We'll finish this another time."

* * *

_**Thank each of you for your wonderful reviews. Someone asked how I manage to do my updates so quickly...well, it's difficult not to do them when you know you have people impatiently wating on them :-) **_

_**I'm really glad that you guys are enjoying the story. School starts back tomorrow (arrgghhh!!!) so I guess some of my story writing time will be taken up by paper-grading. I'll try to be steadfast and get you a chapter every few days.**_


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

The rest of the week was kind of fuzzy for me after pinning Catherine in the showers like I did. I don't think I've ever wanted anyone as badly as I wanted her at that moment. And I know how bad she wanted me, too. I don't want to give into passion too quickly. If the only thing she's ever done is kiss a woman—and I'm that woman—then I want to make sure this is something she wants. I don't want to be something she regrets.

Now, here I am driving over to Catherine's now to pick her and Linds up to go for a picnic and a hike. Allie has been talking about this—and nothing else—for days. I'm curious to see how Lindsey is going to interact with her. I know she's an only child even if she is close to her cousin Jeremy. Lindsey can be a spitfire (just like her mother) when she wants to be.

I'm nervous as hell as I pull up in Catherine's driveway. I don't want to go through the hassle of taking Allie out of her safety seat and then putting her back in after only a few minutes. So, I settle for honking the horn. After nearly a minute of waiting, Catherine opens the door and waves. I can tell from my car that she's rushing Lindsey out of the house.

I get out of the car and walk toward her to take the picnic basket she's prepared. _An actual picnic basket—how cute!_ She follows me to the rear of the car and after putting the basket in the trunk, I plant a very innocent kiss on her cheek before pulling her into a hug. "Hey there!"

She hugs me back, leaning her head against my chest and simply replies, "Hey to you, too. You ready for today?"

"Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this all week. And don't even get me started on Allie. She's been talking about it for the last few days. How about Linds? Is she okay with the two of us coming along?"

"She'd be doing better if you two would cut the PDA and get in the car."

Nothing crashes the mood quite like a teenager. Catherine blushes and pulls back from our embrace. I slam the trunk shut and smile and Lindsey. "You're right. Let's hit the road." I walk around to the passenger side of my car and open the door for Catherine—only Catherine doesn't get in the front seat—Lindsey does.

Catherine is just standing there smiling. "Uh, Linds, why don't you let your mom sit in the front with me?"

She turns and glares at me. "I always sit in the front." She's still glaring at me as she pulls the door shut.

I smile and turn to face a smirking Catherine. "I got the same attitude from you for years. I'm used to it by now."

I walk around to the driver's side and open the rear door for Catherine since Allie's seat is on the passenger side. As she slides into the car, I can't help but let my hand run over her ass. I wink at her as I shut the door. _And so the game begins._

The drive is torturous at best. Every time Catherine and I start to talk, Lindsey reaches over and blasts the radio. I don't know if it's her that's pissing me off or the fact that Catherine isn't addressing this issue that's pissing me off.

I finally resign myself to driving without actually having a conversation with Catherine. She has struck up a conversation with Allie—something about cartoon characters, Barbie or some other thing that both Catherine and Allie would understand.

That leaves me with Lindsey. "So, Linds, how is school going these days?"

She looks at me and rolls her eyes. "What's your favorite subject?"

This earns me a very loud sucking of the teeth. Okay, what is something that a teenage girl would enjoy talking about?

"That's a cute outfit. Did you pick that out or did your mom help you?"

"I'm old enough to dress myself. Obviously you still need help in that department." She looks me up and down. _Great—I'm being put down by a teenager._

"Okay, maybe we can talk about something else. Oh, I know. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Do you?" I think my 'Hail Mary' pass was just intercepted by the only player for the other team standing in the end zone. _Why the hell am I making sports analogies? I don't even watch baseball._

I know I've turned a bright shade of crimson in reaction to her comment. She's just sitting over there smirking. She's got the same smirk that her mother has. I can't believe Catherine is sitting back there and hasn't said a word about the way Lindsey is treating me. Then again, I guess I don't have any right to expect Lindsey to treat me with the least little bit of respect—well, except for the fact that I'm an adult and I haven't been rude or disrespectful to her.

Half an hour later, we pull onto a dirt road that leads to one of my favorite spots at Lake Mead. After I park, Catherine is the first out of the car. She almost runs to the passenger side of the car and jerks Lindsey's door open. Before I know what's going on, she has Lindsey by the elbow and is pulling her away from the car.

I'm trying to ignore this 'mother-daughter' moment, but I'm curious nonetheless. I try to busy myself with getting Allie out of the car and grabbing the various things we have in the trunk. I grab the picnic basket, a blanket I always keep in my trunk and my hiking bag. Allie and I are standing there by car when Lindsey and Catherine walk back toward us.

"We ready?" I ask as the get back to the car.

"Yeah," Lindsey says angrily.

"Lindsey!" Catherine growls at her.

"I meant, oh boy! I can't wait." She is so fake. There is no way I will ever win this kid.

I had the blanket to Lindsey. "You can carry this for us."

Cath grabs the picnic basket and I pick Allie up. With my free hand, I take Catherine's hand in mind as we walk toward our picnic spot.

* * *

**_Sorry I haven't updated since school started. And I know I usually do three or four chapter updates, but just one will have to do tonight. If I don't do anymore this week, I promise to have a big update this weekend._**


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine POV_

I kept my mouth shut during the car ride. But as soon as Sara put the car in park, I was out of it and yanking my smartass kid out of the car. It's one thing for her to be rude and insolent towards me. It's a completely different story for her to act like that toward someone else.

"What is your problem, Linds?"

"My problem? I don't think you really want to know what my problem is," she said as she rolled her eyes at me.

"You said you wanted us to do something together. Here we are—together. Why are you being such a bitch? Sara hasn't done anything to you other than try to talk to you while she was driving. I've never laid a hand on you, but I gotta tell ya, Linds, I've never felt more like slapping you than I have in the last few minutes."

"Is that what this is about? Me being rude to Sara?"

"You're damn right that is what this is about. You are not going to be rude to her. You're not going to be disrespectful to her. Understand?"

"Yeah. I understand. You'd rather spend time with her than me."

"Linds, Sara and I are friends. She's only been a mom for a little while and she doesn't have many friends. I just thought this would be a way for her to spend some time with Allie and with us. Now, you'll be nice or you'll be grounded."

"Whatever."

As Lindsey started back toward the car and Sara, I realized that this was going to be a long day—a very long day. I can't believe Sara kept her mouth shut about the way Lindsey was acting. She must have the patience of a saint.

Sara already has Allie out of the car and has unloaded the trunk by the time we get back.

"We ready?" she asks as we get back to the car.

Lindsey glared at me and with venom in her voice said, "Yeah."

"Lindsey!"

In her best fake voice she said, "I meant, oh boy! I can't wait." Sara smiled at her, but I knew she was thinking about ways to dispose of the body. There was no way in hell she was going to be able to win Lindsey over. And if Lindsey didn't like Sara, there was no way I'd ever be able to be more than friends with her.

Sara handed Lindsey the blanket she had on her arm and told her that she could carry it for us. I took the basket while Sara put Allie on her hip. As we started toward our picnic spot, Sara took my hand in hers.

It was a simple, yet romantic gesture. And a gesture that I wasn't sure Lindsey would react positively to. As much as I hated to, I pulled my hand back. Sara looked at me questioningly and I just pointed ahead of us to Lindsey. She smiled back at me. I'm sure she understood my unspoken concern. At least I hope she did.

Sara picks up the pace so that she's walking ahead of Lindsey and me now. I think dropping her hand like I did might have actually hurt her feelings. When – and if—we get some time alone, I'll explain my reasoning to her. Her daughter, as young as she may be, is accustomed to her mommy being with another woman. My daughter isn't. And I think she's already caught on to the fact that I'm interested in Sara because she's definitely not stupid. And that probably explains the attitude Sara got in the car and the one we'll continue to get the rest of the day.

As Lindsey and I silently trudge up a hill, I realize we're lost site of Sara and Allie. "Did they go over the top of the hill or go off the side of the trail we're on?"

Lindsey doesn't bother answering me. "Lindsey? Are you listening to me?" Once again, no response. I touch her arm and she jerks back immediately. Only now do I realize she has earphones in her ears. Buying that damn musical thingamabob for her was one of my worst mistakes. I motion to her ears and she pulls the earbuds out. "I said, did you notice if they went over the top of the hill or off to the side of the trail?"

"I wasn't paying attention to where your _friend_ went."

"What did I tell you about this attitude?"

"Just because you like her doesn't mean I have to. I don't get a good feeling about her, mom. Something about her just doesn't feel right. And you can't make me like her."

"No, I can't make you like her. But Sara is not a bad person. You just need to give her a chance. You love Nick, Greg, Rick and Grissom. She's part of the team, too. You'll like her if you just try."

"Maybe I don't want to try. I. Don't. Like. Her. Why do you care so much about what I think about Sara anyway? All you do is work with her." She obviously knew more about my feelings for Sara than even I cared to admit to myself

I wasn't about to have this discussion with her—not where Sara could possibly hear anyway. "We'll talk about this when we get home."

"Is she coming home with us, too?" I had raised one sarcastic little princess.

"I'm just going to pretend that you didn't say that."

"You can pretend if you want to—doesn't mean I _didn't_ say it." She kept walking. _Please give me the strength and patience to get through the rest of this day without killing or maiming my child._

We crested the top of the hill and beheld one of the most breathtaking sights I've ever seen. I have no idea how Sara managed to find this spot, but we were at the top of this hill overlooking the lake. Sara was smiling and motioning for us to come on over. Allie was standing beside her and mimicking her actions. They were so adorable together.

"We can't keep them waiting, can we?" Lindsey tossed at me as she continued walking toward Sara and Allie.

As Lindsey approached Sara, she held her hands out to take the blanket that Linds had been carrying. Lindsey looked at Sara and instead of handing the blanket to her, tossed it at her feet and kept walking. "Thanks, Lindsey."

Sara spread the blanket out on the ground and sat down, pulling Allie into her lap. I joined them on the blanket and called for Lindsey to join us. She just ignored me and plopped down on the ground as far from us as she could get and still be visible.

I unpacked the picnic basket and we enjoyed a light lunch and conversation. Allie divided her time between my lap, Sara's lap and sitting between the two of us. Sara is definitely going to have her hands full with this one. She definitely knows how to command an audience.

We had finished eating when Sara pulled Allie over to her and laid back on the blanket. "She needs a little nap after eating. She doesn't get a long one, only about half an hour. Once she wakes up, we can go for a little hike if you like."

"Does her mommy take a nap with her?"

Sara reached over and squeezed my hand and said, "Yes, her mommy normally takes a nap at this time. Look, why don't you go talk to Lindsey? She's obviously pissed about something—and I'm pretty sure that I'm the something she pissed about."

"She's too angry to listen to anything I have to say. It would be a waste of energy and time," I lean forward and press my lips to hers. "I'd rather save my energy for more enjoyable ventures." I continued to kiss her.

My lips were still against hers when she said, "Unless your daughter is agreeable to the situation, there won't be any _more enjoyable ventures_. I may have only recently become a full-time mommy, but I know that your daughter is the center of your universe. I'm not going to get involved with someone—especially you—unless their kid is okay with it."

"So, unless Lindsey gives us _her blessing_, you're not going to go out with me? That's fu…messed up, Sara. She's a teenager. She doesn't control what I do. She doesn't get a say in what my relationship is or will be with you. Only one person makes decisions for me, and last time I checked, that one person wasn't you or my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I'd never do anything to hurt her and every decision I make, I have to make with her in mind. And if I thought for one second that possibly being involved with you was bad for her in the least little bit, you wouldn't be here right now. So, you either shut up and take a nap with your daughter or hand her over to me and **you** go talk to my kid."


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

To say that Catherine was pissed at my comment would have done a disservice to the word pissed. Her sapphire eyes flashed with anger as she spoke. "So, unless Lindsey gives us _her blessing_, you're not going to go out with me? That's fu…messed up, Sara. She's a teenager. She doesn't control what I do. She doesn't get a say in what my relationship is or will be with you. Only one person makes decisions for me, and last time I checked, that one person wasn't you or my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I'd never do anything to hurt her and every decision I make, I have to make with her in mind. And if I thought for one second that possibly being involved with you was bad for her in the least little bit, you wouldn't be here right now. So, you either shut up and take a nap with your daughter or hand her over to me and **you** go talk to my kid."

I promptly handed over Allie and sat up. Catherine lay down on her back and had Allie lay in the crook of her arm up against her aside. Catherine winked at me and mouthed _good luck_. I felt like I should have been asking for a cigarette and a blindfold. In the back of my mind I was asking myself if Catherine was worth it. It seemed that I glanced back at Catherine every two steps I took toward Lindsey. _Yeah, I'm sure she's worth it. _

I didn't say anything as I sat down beside Lindsey. It took her a moment to notice me. I just kept looking out at the lake until she finally broke the silence.

"What do you want? Are you finished spending _my time_ with _my mother_?"

"Lindsey, I think we need to talk."

"By _we need to talk_ you mean that you need to talk and that I need to listen. Not interested," she put her earbuds back in her ears and turned away from me.

I reached over and plucked the buds out of her ears and was met with a growl that I'm sure was no worse than her bite. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Whoa kid, you need to watch your language. What I think I'm doing is actually trying to have a conversation with you. That is, of course, unless you don't know how to have a conversation. If you think I just want to talk to you and you just listen, then we can do that, too. But what I'd like is for us to talk—woman to woman."

"Yeah, right. Like you actually want to have a conversation."

"Try me. If I'm lying, then you've proven me right. On the other hand, I might be telling the truth."

She studied me, trying to figure out if I was messing with her or being honest. She looked back at her mother, back to the lake and finally at me. "Fine, what do you want to talk about?"

"Thank you. You're obviously upset about something. I noticed it as soon as I showed up at your house today. Want to tell me what it is?"

"You don't care why I'm upset. The only thing you care about is making yourself look good to my mom. I'm not stupid. I know you like her. I know she likes you. So why do you care what I feel?"

Telling her I cared wasn't going to work. I was going to have to make my point in a roundabout way. "Lindsey, how often does you mom go out on dates?"

She smiled—not a friendly smile, but the kind that says _you're not going to like what I tell you_. "My mom used to go out on dates all the time."

"How many of those people did you ever spend any time with?"

Her smug expression changed and she frowned. "None."

"Really? I wonder if it was your charming personality or the fact that the only thing they were after was sex with your mom that kept them away from you."

Her eyes flashed with anger. "Don't talk about my mom like that! They were assholes. They were nice and took her out until they got what they wanted. Don't make it sound like she's some kind of slut, because she's not."

"I know your mom's not a slut. Here's the deal, Linds. I like your mom, but your mom has never dated a woman. Did you know that?"

"I don't care about her dating a woman. I just don't want _you_ to be the woman she dates."

"Why not? What have I done to you to cause you to hate me so much, Lindsey?" I was trying not to be angry with the kid, but try as I might, I was being unsuccessful.

She stood up and started yelling, "What have you done? I'll tell you what you've done. Today was supposed to be my day with my mom! She works all the time and I never get to see her! And instead of us spending it together, you had to come along—you and the kid who isn't even your kid! You're not a real mother so I don't expect you to understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling."

Before I realized what I had done, I had slapped Lindsey. I felt immediate satisfaction before it suddenly hit me that I had _slapped_ Catherine's daughter. Lindsey just stood there staring at me. Tears were welling up in her eyes. I looked from her to the blanket where Catherine and Allie had been laying down and saw that Catherine was up and was running toward us.

She stepped between me and Lindsey. "Sara, what the hell do you think you're doing putting your hand on my daughter?"

There was going to be nothing I could say to make this situation better. "Cath, I…"

"I don't want to hear it," she said as she turned back to Lindsey and pulled her into a hug. A victorious smile crept across Lindsey's face as she mouthed the words_ I win_.

I felt sick to my stomach as I walked back toward the blanket where Allie was still laying down. I started packing everything up. I picked up Allie, the blanket and the picnic basket and began the walk back to the car.

I had packed everything up and had Allie in her car seat by the time Lindsey and Catherine made it to the car. I handed the keys to Catherine and said, "I'll sit in the back with Allie. You can drive." She didn't say anything as she took the keys.

It was the longest drive back to Vegas _ever_. When she pulled into her driveway, she and Lindsey both got out of the car so fast it seemed like they were running.

She didn't even bother getting her picnic basket.

I called after, "Catherine?! You're leaving your basket." She didn't even turn to acknowledge me and instead just slammed the front door to her house.


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Three weeks have passed since I saw Sara slap Lindsey. Lindsey explained everything to me. And afterwards, I couldn't understand why I ever entertained the thought of something happening between me and Sara. Honestly, I've been wondering if Allie is even safe with Sara. After all, I did see Sara grab her that one day, too.

For three weeks, every time Sara has seen me, she's tried to talk to me about what happened. And for three weeks, I've changed the topic of conversation to something about work. My mind tells me to forget about her, but my body reacts as soon as she enters a room. I know that if I keep ignoring her and giving her the cold shoulder like I am, eventually she'll give up. Eventually, we'll get back to just being Catherine the bitch and Sara the victim. That seems to be the role I'm most comfortable with.

In the three weeks since the slap, Sara and I have managed not to draw a single case together—until tonight. Grissom walked into the break room and started handing out assignments. Warrick and Greg had a suspicious circs at one of the casinos. Nick was excited about a trick roll. That left me and Sara.

"Cath, Sara…419 in Henderson." He turned to leave the room after handing the slip to Sara.

I shot up from the couch and said, "Gil, Sara can handle this by herself. I have some paperwork to finish up on several cases."

He turned around and said, "You know, a few years ago when Sara said that she had case she was working on and couldn't be pulled to do something else, I told her that this wasn't negotiable. Same goes here Catherine. Your assignments are not negotiable. You take what I give you or you find another job." With that he turned and walked out of the break room toward his office.

I was on his heels. He turned to shut his door and found himself face to face with sixty-six inches of fury. I pushed past him and shut the door behind me. "I don't want to work with Sara. Leave me in the lab tonight or send me alone. But don't send me with her."

"What is your problem with Sara? You two were getting along so well there for a couple of months. Now, it's worse than it was when she first joined the team."

"Sara is an accident waiting to happen. And I don't want to be caught in the middle of whatever accident she has."

"Has she done something here in the lab or the field that I need to know about? If she has, you have an obligation to …"

"This isn't about anything that's happened in the lab or in the field."

"Then why does it matter? You two have to be professional. Now, unless you have something more to offer, both of you are on this case. So I suggest you get your kit and get your ass to Henderson."

A part of me wanted so badly to tell him why I wanted nothing to do with Sara, but I knew that what she did off the clock had little if any bearing on her ability to do her job.

I slammed his door, rattling the glass and certainly upsetting some of his furry eight-legged friends.

Sara was standing against the wall outside Gil's office. I hadn't exactly been quiet during my talk with Grissom. One look at her face told me that she had heard everything I said to Grissom.

"Sara…"

She put her hands up. "No need to say anything, Catherine. I get it. I really do." She looked down at the slip in her hands. "Here, you can take your truck out there. I need to get some stuff out of my locker and I'll be right behind you."

I put my hand out to touch her and she pulled back. "I can wait on you."

She laughed. "Please, don't do me any favors. We both know you don't want to work a scene with me much less ride in a truck with me." Sara turned and walked toward the locker room. "Just go ahead. I'll be right behind you." She disappeared into the locker room leaving me with an ample helping of guilt about the things I had said to Gil about her.

Instead of following her and trying to talk or apologize, I left for the scene. It's not like I owed her anything after what happened up at Lake Mead. During my drive to the scene, I reasoned with myself that not apologizing to her was actually the best course of action. And her overhearing what I had said to Gil was a good thing. She needed to hear what I _really _thought of her. Maybe now she'd understand that I really wanted nothing to do with her. There were no redeeming qualities for me to find in Sara Sidle.


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I watched Catherine pull away from the crime lab before even walking out to my truck. Even though I left minutes after she did, it took me nearly half an hour to make it to the crime scene. As I pulled onto the street, I saw the coroner's van driving toward me, followed by a police cruiser. I saw Catherine's Denali parked in front of a house and pulled in behind it.

I grabbed my kit from the back of my truck and walked toward the house. I heard the sound of breaking glass and Catherine saying, "Look, you don't want to do this."

I put my kit down and pulled out my phone. I called for back up. That cop never should have left. As long as we're on a scene, we're supposed to have an officer there. It doesn't matter if they clear the scene when they get there and before they leave. They're always supposed to be there in case a suspect comes back.

I went to the windows on the front of the house but couldn't see anything because the curtains were pulled shut. I moved around to the side of the house found a window there that wasn't covered. I could make out Catherine standing in the living room and although I couldn't see exactly who else was in the room, I did see a gun extended in Catherine's direction. I drew my gun and continued to walk around the house, looking for an open door.

The back door leading into the kitchen of the house was open. As I walked in, I could hear the man talking about what had happened. Catherine was trying to calm him down, but the harder she tried, the angrier he became. I had a choice to make. I could either stand here and wait for backup or I could try to help Catherine.

I raised my gun and started walking toward the room that Catherine was in. She saw me as I moved past one entry into the room and made eye contact with her. I smiled at her and her eyes went wide and she shook her head. I ignored the message she was obviously trying to send me and went on to the next doorway.

This one would allow me to enter the room and put myself between the gunman and Catherine. I took a deep breath and slowly edged myself into the room. As the gunman saw me, he swung his gun toward me.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"I'm Sara. I'm here to get Catherine."

He started waving his gun angrily. "You're not getting anyone. Put your gun down."

I was still edging my way into the room, attempting to put myself squarely between Catherine and this madman. "I'm sorry, but I can't put my gun down. You still have a chance. Why don't you put yours down? There's no need for anyone else to get hurt here."

I had now managed to completely block Catherine from his view. I kept talking to him as I started to slowly move backwards, motioning for Catherine to stand up behind me.

"Sara! What are you doing?" She asked as she stood up and moved immediately behind me.

"Catherine, just shut up and move whenever I move. I'm getting you out of here."

My eyes never left his. "Why don't you tell me your name?" I began to move toward the doorway I had first passed to enter the room.

He took two steps toward us and cocked his gun. I froze, but I didn't lower my gun. Catherine's hands were on my waist. I could feel her heart beating through her palms. I'm certain that mine was beating just as quickly. We took another step toward the doorway.

"You're not going anywhere! Stop moving or I'll shoot both of you."

I had a decision to make. If we stayed here and tried to reason with him, one or both of us would end up dead. I didn't stop to consider Allie. I didn't stop to consider Catherine. I didn't stop to consider myself.

I took a step forward, pulling away from Catherine and fired a shot. He squeezed off one round as he fell to the ground. As I fired, I turned my back and fell forward onto Catherine, covering her. We both fell to the floor.


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

As soon as we hit the ground, Sara rolled off of me and sat up. I noticed the blood immediately. She tried to raise her arm and seemed confused that it wasn't following her directions.

I saw her look down at her shoulder and then she looked at me. Her eyes were dark, but her face was full of panic. As quickly as she had sat up, she fell backwards. Before I could even react, the room was filled with officers.

I looked up and saw Sofia crossing the room towards us. She fell to her knees and started applying pressure to Sara's wound. Sara had yet to speak and I hadn't either.

"Catherine. Catherine!" I was staring down at Sara and at the blood seeping into the carpet beneath her. "Catherine!"

My head snapped up and I was looking into Sofia's eyes. "You have blood on you. Are you shot?"

I looked down at my shirt and then to Sara and finally back at my shirt. "Catherine—are you hurt?"

I couldn't speak. I could only manage to shake my head. I stood up on shaky legs and walked through the kitchen and out the still open back door. The property was crawling with police but none of them said anything. They looked at me, but they didn't speak. I continued to walk around the house and toward my truck. I leaned against it and slid down, resting against a tire.

I heard the sirens of an ambulance and saw the blur of more uniforms walking into the house. I saw those same uniforms come out minutes later with Sara on their gurney. I saw Sofia at her side and getting into the ambulance with her.

I don't know how long I sat there before I felt myself being pulled to my feet and put in the passenger side of my truck. I looked up into green eyes as Warrick fastened my seat belt. He didn't speak, but instead drove.

We pulled up at the emergency room entrance of the hospital. A nurse with a wheelchair came out to the truck. Warrick came to my side and got me out and tried to put me in the wheelchair. I still couldn't speak. I refused to sit down and started walking into the hospital. The nurse—and Rick—were following me and trying to get me to sit in the wheelchair. I walked to each exam room looking for Sara. People continued to speak to me and touch me, trying to get me to calm down, sit down, or ask if I needed help. I brushed all of them away.

As I got further in the emergency room, I could hear doctors barking orders and all sorts of alarms going off. I followed the sounds to a room packed full of nurses and doctors—some coming and some going.

I saw a bloody Sofia standing there looking through the glass. I walked toward her. I began to shake as I saw Sara laying there hooked up to tubes and wires and all sorts of gadgets.

Sofia took one look at me and put her arm around me. "It looks way worse than it actually is. She's going to be okay. She lost a lot of blood, but didn't do any major damage. She's gonna be in a sling for a while. But she's going to be okay, Cath."

Rick and the nurse who had pursuing me finally found me. The nurse literally ran the wheelchair into the back of my knees forcing me to sit down. Sofia looked down at me and took my hand in hers. "I'll stay with her. Let them check you out and then you can come back." All I could do was nod.

Two hours later and lots of poking and prodding later, they were officially finished checking me out. Rick went to find out where Sara was and came back only to tell me that they wouldn't let me see her until the next morning. I was pissed, but I still hadn't said a word.

Rick was driving me home when I suddenly remembered that Sara had a daughter. With panic in my voice, I turned to Rick and said, "What about Allie?"


	48. Chapter 48

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

"Wendy was picking her up and was going to stay the night with her," he assured me.

"No, she doesn't know her. Take me to get her. She knows me. She'll stay with me."

"Cath, that's not a good idea. You need to go home to Linds and just rest. Shit woman, these are the first words you've said in like five or six hours. You can't take care of that little girl and yourself right now."

I started to cry. "Please, Rick. Just take me to get Allie."

He turned the truck around and we headed toward Sara's apartment. As soon as the truck stopped, I sprinted from it and up the flights of stairs to Sara's apartment. I knocked on the door until Wendy opened it.

"Catherine, are you okay?" Wendy asked me as she moved aside for me to enter the apartment.

"Did you tell her what happened?"

"I didn't know what to tell her. Sofia said Sara would get to come home in a couple of days so I didn't know whether to tell her or not."

I went to Allie's room and started going through her clothes, putting outfits and nightclothes on top of the dresser. I looked through Sara's closet for a bag to put Allie's things in but didn't find one. I opted for an old grocery bag from under her sink.

"Cath, what are you doing? I'm going to stay here with Allie."

"Wendy, go home. I'm taking Allie home with me. I've got the next couple of days off and she knows me. She'll be better off with me."

About that time, Allie came walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. "Caferin!" She threw herself around my legs and I swiftly bent down and picked her up, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I've missed you, Caferin."

"I've missed you, too Allie. How about you come and stay with me tonight since mommy isn't coming home?"

She frowned and asked, "Did my mommy leave me?"

I was going to have to tell her what had happened. "No, baby. Your mommy didn't leave you. She got hurt tonight and she's in the hospital." Her eyes went wide with panic. "But she's going to be okay. We can even go and see her tomorrow. But I want you to come and stay with me tonight."

She just nodded her head. I grabbed the bag of clothes I had packed for her and her favorite stuffed animal and walked out, leaving Wendy standing there still trying to figure out exactly what had happened.

I came downstairs to find Warrick standing beside the truck. "We don't have a car seat."

"I'll sit in the back and hold her. You just drive carefully."

Half an hour later, we pulled into my driveway. Warrick started to get out but I told him he didn't need to come in.

As I walked toward the door, it swung open and Lindsey just glared at me.

"You were supposed to be home hours ago. I missed piano practice." She looked at the sleeping child in my arms. "What is she doing here?"

I didn't even pay attention to what Lindsey was saying. I walked past her and upstairs to my room. I put a sleeping Allie in my bed, gave her a kiss on her forehead and told her I'd come to bed with her soon.

I walked out of my room and Lindsey was standing in the hallway. Her expression changed when she saw my blouse. "Is that blood? Why do you have blood on you?"

"There was an accident," I said to her as I walked past her.

"An accident? Mom, whose blood is on you?"

"Sara's." And I lost it. I fell to the floor and started crying. "It's Sara's blood. She was shot."

I looked up and saw the smirk on Lindsey's face. "Sara's blood, huh?" Lindsey had just crossed a line. I pushed myself up from the floor and backed her against the wall.

"Yeah, Sara's blood, Lindsey. And if it hadn't been for Sara, your mother—ME—wouldn't be standing here. Someone pulled a gun on me and instead of waiting for backup, Sara came in and got between me and the guy and tried to get me out the room. He shot her," I grabbed her by the shoulders and started to shake her as I continued to speak. "He shot Sara—not ME. HE. SHOT. HER."

I let her go and walked away from her. Right now, I was totally disgusted with my daughter. I walked back into my room and shut the door. I had to get out of these clothes and shower.

An hour later, I still felt like Sara's blood was clinging to my body like a second skin. I pulled on some pajamas and climbed into bed beside Allie. I put my arms around the little girl and pulled her toward me. She had no idea what a lucky little girl she was to have someone like Sara to take care of her.

I had barely fallen asleep when I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder.

I rolled over and looked into the swollen eyes of my daughter. "Linds, are you okay?"

She shook her head no. "Mom, I need to tell you something. And I don't think you're going to be happy about it."

Lindsey proceeded to tell me about everything that had happened the day of "the slap."

After her confession, I found myself wondering how Sara had only managed to slap her.

"Go back to bed, Linds. We'll talk about this later."

My daughter had treated Sara like shit. I had treated her like shit and hadn't even given her a chance to explain what had happened that day. Then she overheard me talking to Gil about her behind her back.

And yet, when it came down to it, she put her life on the line. She stepped into a room with a madman and put herself in the line of fire. She tried to get me out of the room. She put my life ahead of hers—even though she had a daughter at home who needed her as much, if not more, than mine needed me. And she took a bullet for me. Who else would have done that?

I cried for what I knew I had in Sara. I cried for what I knew I had almost lost. And I cried for what I was afraid I would never have.


	49. Chapter 49

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

In my sleeping mind, I had replayed the previous evening's events over and over in my head. I never should have said anything to Grissom about her. I never should have gone to the scene without her. I never should have told that deputy that it was okay for him to leave when the coroner left. I should have waited for Sara before entering the house and starting to process. I should have somehow kept her out of the room when I saw her. I should have argued with her about coming between me and the suspect. I should have run to her when she rolled off of me. I should have gone to the hospital with her. I should have stayed with her.

I saw Sara trying to raise her arm only to be incapable of doing so. The look on her face when she looked down and realized she had been shot woke me from my sleep. I had been too weak, too shocked to say anything then, but now I had found my voice. "Sara!" I screamed as I shot up in bed. My heart was racing and breathing was ragged.

Realizing I was in my bed and remembering that I had brought Allie home with me, I immediately looked to my right and the bed was empty. Before I could get out of bed and look for the little girl, my door swung open.

Lindsey ran into the room. "Mom, are you okay?"

I just stared at her, remembering her confession from only hours ago. She reached out to touch me and I pulled back. "Mom, what's wrong? You screamed Sara's name."

"Where is Allie? She was in bed with me and now she's gone. Did you see her?"

"Relax. She's downstairs. When I got up, I opened your door to check on you. She was awake so I took her downstairs and made her breakfast. She's already had a bath and is dressed. I know you want to go and see Sara. And I know she's going to want to see Allie." With that, Lindsey turned and left the room.

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about my daughter, even in the light of a new day. She had intentionally sabotaged a promising relationship with Sara through deceit. If there was one thing Lindsey knew that I had always expected of her, it was honesty. She had, it seemed, inherited her father's penchant for doing what he wanted and lying to cover it up.

She had lost my trust and my respect. And because of her, I most certainly have lost a chance with Sara.

It was only 7:30, but I wanted to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. I showered and dressed before heading downstairs to the girls.

As soon as I entered the living room, a bundle of energy attacked my legs. "Caferin! Caferin!"

I bent down and picked the little girl up. "Good morning, sunshine! Did you sleep okay?"

She frowned. "No, I missed my mommy. And you kept talkin'. You woke me up."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I miss your mommy, too. We're going to go see her in a little bit. But first, what was I talking about?"

She looked at me with an expression that said _you should already know._ "You kept saying _Sara_ and _don't_. Caferin, who's Sara?"

"Sara is your mommy."

"Nuh-uh. Her name is mommy, not Sara."

I giggled at the little girl's innocence. "You get to call her mommy since you're her little girl. I don't think she'd like it if the rest of us called her mommy."

A few minutes later, I had my coffee fix and we were on our way to the hospital. Much to my surprise, Lindsey asked if she could go with us. Part of me wanted to leave her at my sister's. I didn't know exactly how she would behave around Sara. But I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

The drive to the hospital was uneventful—thank goodness.

I had called ahead for Sara's room number so that I could avoid the reception area. We took the elevator up to Sara's floor. I was trying hard to control emotions as Lindsey pushed the door. Sara lay there motionless attached to a heart monitor and several bags hanging above her bed feeding into an IV line.

"Lindsey, you can sit in that chair over there and watch television. Don't turn it up too loud. We don't want to wake Sara."

I picked Allie up and put her on the bed beside Sara. "Now sweetie, you can lay up here with your mommy but you can't move her around. Can you do that sweetie?"

She nodded her head. I pulled the chair closest to Sara's bed even closer and took her hand in mine.


	50. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I have never experienced such blinding white hot pain in my life. The abuse I endured at the hands of my parents was one thing, but this pain is in an entirely different galaxy.

I remember seeing someone holding a gun on Catherine and I remember stepping between the man and Catherine. I remember firing my gun and then falling to the ground on top of Catherine. After that, I remember Sofia holding my hand and telling me that I was going to be okay.

I know I've been out of it for a while, but I need to force myself to open my eyes. I'm afraid of what I'm going to find. I know that I'm in a hospital—the sounds around me tell me that much. So does the smell. Hospitals smell so…so antiseptic.

I need to find out what's working and what isn't. Toes—can move them. Legs—can move them. Left hand—no…_oh shit._ Right hand—no…_oh shit._

I need to stay calm. Try this one more time. Left hand---okay, I can move my fingers, but only barely. Someone's hand is in mine. It's probably Sofia because I know she rode to the hospital with me. Okay, right hand—still can't move it.

Alright, time to try the eyes. Just a little bit at first. I'm sure it will be bright in here. I'm fluttering them open a little bit more at a time. And the room isn't bright.

I turn my head slightly to my left and there's my baby asleep on my arm. That's why I couldn't move the arm. The television is on. I know I wouldn't have turned it on and if I had, I certainly wouldn't have put it on some damn talk show. I squint my eyes to focus on the television for a few minutes. _The View_—someone really should put a muzzle on that damn Rosie O'Donnell. Okay, time to look to my right. Why is _she_ here? The only way she would be here is if…

Someone squeezes my hand. I turn back to my left. "Hey there Sleeping Beauty. How are you feeling?"

I can't answer her. I'm just busy staring at her. My cardiac monitor starts beeping, showing Catherine just how hard my heart is beating. I open my mouth to speak but I can't, instead I just squeeze her hand back.

She turns to Lindsey, "Go get a nurse. Tell them she's awake." Lindsey left the room without saying a word.

"She told me everything, Sara. I am so sorry, baby. I should have listened to you. Instead, I've spent the last month avoiding you." Tears were streaming down her face. "You…"

She didn't get to finish because my nurse and doctor came in and ushered them out of the room. Catherine picked a still sleeping Allie up off of the bed and took her with her.

My doctor pulled my bandages back and started touching and examining my wound. "What exactly happened to me?"

"You were shot in the right shoulder. Only received damage to the surrounding musculature. No damage to bones. You're going to have limited use of this arm for a while. You'll be in a sling and have limited duties at work when you do go back."

"I don't really remember much about what happened."

"That's to be expected. Blood loss. Shock. All that good stuff. Your wound is looking pretty good. I can probably let you go home tomorrow morning. You're going to have to take it easy though. No heavy lifting. Nothing strenuous. Can you handle that?" The doctor turned to the nurse and said "Would you mind redressing her wounds?"

As my doctor was walking out the door, she turned back around and said, "I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Sidle." I swear she winked at me.

As soon as the nurse had cleared out of the room, Lindsey came in—alone.

"Where are Allie and your mom?"

"They're just outside. I asked my mom to give me a few minutes with you. I think we need to talk."

"Linds, can this wait? I'm not really up for talking right now."

She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one foot. "No, we need to do this _now_. It can't wait any longer. I can't wait any longer."

I sighed heavily, "Okay, Lindsey. What do you want to talk about?"

She moved closer to my bed and hung her head. "I told my mom about everything that happened that day at the lake. I told her what I said to you." She looked into my eyes and continued. "Sara, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I said to you."

"Linds, I never should have laid a hand on you. We both messed up that day."

"Yeah, but I shouldn't have provoked you."

"That, you did. I don't understand what your problem is with me. What have I done or what did I do to make you hate me so much that you'd say the things you've said and do the things you've done?"

Her eyes turned cold and so did her voice. "You never found who killed my daddy."

And there we have it folks. She hated me because I had failed.

I couldn't look her in the eyes. I simply said, "I'm getting tired. Would you ask your mom to bring Allie in here for a few minutes?"


	51. Chapter 51

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Lindsey asked me to let her talk to Sara for a few minutes, so I stayed out in the hall with Allie. After only a few minutes, Lindsey came out and said that Sara wanted me to bring Allie in for a few minutes.

I pushed the door open and walked in with Allie in tow. Sara's face lit up immediately. Allie ran to the bed and tried to crawl up, but she was too short to manage all alone.

I picked her up and sat her on the bed with Sara while I sat in the chair beside her bed.

"Were you okay with Aunt Wendy and Aunt Sofia last night? Did they feed you and put you to bed on time?" Sara asked Allie.

"I stayed with Caferin. I even slept in her bed. You never let me sleep in your bed with you, mommy."

Sara's smile faded as she turned to face me. "I remember Sofia telling me in the ambulance that she'd take care of Allie. How did she end up with you?"

"I, uh, went to your apartment and took her. I thought since she knew me, it would be better for her to stay with me."

"Allie knows Wendy and Sofia very well. We have dinner once a week and one or both of them have kept her when I've pulled doubles. I appreciate your concern, Catherine, but things were under control."

"Sara, I…"

"Catherine, I'm really not feeling up to this. I appreciate you coming by. I really do. But I think I want you and Lindsey to go ahead and head home."

I was stunned. She was asking me to leave. "Why?"

"Why? You want me to explain to you why I want you to leave _my_ hospital room?" Sara was raising her voice and was obviously indignant about my request for an explanation.

"Uh, yeah. I'd like for you to explain what's going on here. You seemed fine before the doctor came in. You weren't asking me to leave then. Why now?"

"I didn't even speak to you before the doctor came in. I was just waking up when you started talking. Between you and Lindsey—I'm drained. I don't have the energy for this. In case you didn't know, I was shot yesterday. Have you ever been shot?"

All I could do was shake my head.

"Well, when you get shot, I'll come and see if you feel up to having a conversation like this."

I was angry with Sara. I was angry with myself. I was angry with the world. Every fucking thing was working against the two of us ever being more than on again off again friends.

I went to pick Allie up only to have Sara put her hand on my chest. "What do you think you're doing?"

I took a step back. "I was going to take Allie back home with us."

"No, you're not."

"Sara, she can't stay here with you in the hospital."

"She'll be fine here with me for a little while. Greg, Sofia or Wendy will be by later. One of them will take care of her for me tonight."

"Sara, there's no problem with me taking her home with us."

Once again I reached for Allie. Only this time, Sara wrapped her good arm around Allie and tried to turn with her to pull her away from me. She ended up wincing and squeaking in pain.

"Sara! You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'm already hurt, Catherine. Just go." Allie was on the verge of tears, looking between me and Sara. The little girl obviously realized she was the source of a tug-of-war between the two of us. "You can either leave on your own or I can call for a nurse or someone else to escort you out."

I was hurt and trying hard not to show just how hurt I was. I was trying to help Sara and she was doing a damn good job of showing me how much she didn't want or need my help.

I reached for her hand and she pulled away. She was fine when she first woke up. Lindsey went in to talk to her and then she turned into this bitter angry woman. Lindsey—she was the key here, once again. "Sara, what did Lindsey say to you?"

"Catherine. GO! Now!"

I turned and grabbed my purse and walked out the door. Lindsey was sitting outside the room waiting on me. She smiled at me as I walked out, but as soon as she took a good look at my face, she realized something was wrong.

"Mom, are you mad?"

"What do you think, Lindsey? Sara just kicked me out of her room and is refusing to let me take Allie home with us."

"Oh," she said as she hung her head.

"Lindsey, did you say something else to Sara to hurt her? She was fine until you went in to talk to her. What did you need to talk about with her?"

"Well, I started by telling her I had told you what had really happened at the lake that day. Then I apologized for the things I said. And then she apologized. And then she asked me why I hated her so much. And I told her that she never found who killed daddy."

I turned to my little girl. Several years had passed since her father's death and we had never really discussed what had happened. "You told her you hate her because she never found the person who killed your daddy."

"I never said I hated her. _Hated_ was her word."

"But Lindsey, you're so mean to her because of that?"

"Yeah, I am. If it had been Uncle Nick or Uncle Rick, they would have found who killed daddy! She gave up! She quit looking!"

"She did everything that she could, Lindsey. There's only so much any of us can do with the evidence."

"She didn't have to quit looking."

"She couldn't keep looking, Lindsey. You're making Sara the bad guy here. She didn't do anything wrong. She did her best. And no one else would have worked as hard as she worked on that case. She goes days without eating or sleeping when she's trying to find the bad guys, Linds. Your daddy wasn't the saint that you think he was. He was mixed up with some very bad people."

"Don't you talk about my daddy like that!"

"I'm just telling you the truth—something I should have probably done a long time ago. Do you wish I was dead?"

She seemed stunned at my words. "No," she answered quietly.

"As mad as you may be at Sara about your father, if it wasn't for her, I'd be dead right now. So you need to decide if you're going to be angry with her about your daddy or thankful that she saved my life. You can't be both. You're going to have to choose."


	52. Chapter 52

**Disclaimer: **see chapter one

_Lindsey's POV_

I don't know why my mom is always so pissed about the things I say to Sara. I don't even know Sara. The only things I know about her are the things my mom has told me about her. And not a single one of those things would _ever_ make me like her.

I know I was out of line with the comment about her daughter, and I did apologize—eventually. But Sara asked me why I hated her and I told her. She didn't get angry. She didn't yell at me. And she didn't slap me—again. I don't think she'll ever lay a hand on me again after the way my mom reacted.

And here we are standing in a hospital hallway why my mom chews my ass out—again. This is getting to be a regular occurrence. She's mad because I'm mad that Sara never found the person who killed my dad.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that I actually said something about my daddy or the fact that I'm blaming Sara for it that makes her mad. When he died, she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't even bother coming and staying with me after she found me. Instead, she kept right on working. And even now, a few years later, we've never talked about what happened.

I know she hated my daddy. She thought he was a drunk and a liar. And he probably was all of those things—to her. But he was still my daddy.

And that she can forgive Sara and try to be friends with her makes me mad at her, too. Yeah, it took like six years for her to even be nice to her, but she's still being nice.

I _know_ that Sara is after only one thing—_my mom_. And she doesn't like me. If she gets my mom, she'll kick me to the curb. Everything will be about the three of them.

My mom is still talking. Actually, she's still yelling. "As mad as you may be at Sara about your father, if it wasn't for her, I'd be dead right now. So you need to decide if you're going to be angry with her about your daddy or thankful that she saved my life. You can't be both. You're going to have to choose."

Okay, now she wanted me to choose whether to be sad that my daddy was dead or happy that she was alive. She's twisted. "Choose? Like you're choosing _her_ over me?"

She seemed shocked that I thought she was choosing Sara over me. "What the hell are you talking about Lindsey? I haven't chosen Sara over you. I would never choose someone over you. You're my daughter and…"

"NO! You'll fall in love with _her_ and then she'll move in and bring Allie with her and you'll send me away somewhere. I watch TV. I know how this works." I wasn't stupid. I did _know_ that this was exactly what would happen.

She started laughing. "Lindsey, I've treated Sara like shit for weeks because of what I saw at the lake and what _you_ told me happened there. Every time she tried to talk to me and explain her side, I walked away or changed the subject because I believed you—because you are my daughter. Do you honestly believe that I would send you away if something serious happened between me and Sara?"

As much as I hated to admit it, her logic did make sense. There is no way I'm going to come out of this looking like anything other than the bad guy. I think she's mistaken my silence for more anger because she keeps talking. _I feel a lecture coming on here._

"This is going to happen one of two ways. First, you're either going to continue acting like a little bitch—yeah, I said it—a little bitch—and trying to disrupt whatever _is_ going to happen between me and Sara—cause something _is_ going to happen whether you like it or not. I'd prefer for you to like it, but at this point, I don't really care whether you do or not. Or the other option is that you start to act like a decent human being. I know that may be a stretch since you're a teenager and all, but the woman saved my life. That, in and of itself, should mean something to you. And if it doesn't, then I don't know _who_ you are."

With that, she turned and walked away from me. She walked right back into Sara's room. I could hear Sara yelling, "Get out," from down the hallway. I don't think my mom is leaving that room anytime soon. I sat down in a chair in the hallway and decided to think about what my mom had just said to me.

I wasn't sitting there long before Greg came down the hall.

"Hey Linds. Whatcha doing sitting out here all by yourself?"

I pointed down the hall to where Sara's room was as I said, "My mom is in Sara's room. I don't think it's a good idea for me to go down there."

"Why not? I'm sure Sara would love to see you."

"Yeah, right! Besides, I've already been in there once. It didn't go so good. That's why the two of them are down there yelling now."

"I was wondering what all that noise was," he looked down at me and turned serious. "Linds, why are they yelling and what _didn't go so good_ when you saw Sara earlier?"

Greg had always been nice to me. Even though he was older, I always felt like I was talking to one of my friends when I talked to him. "I might have said some not so nice things to Sara. And my mom might be mad because of those things."

"Are you talking about what happened up at the lake?" He knew about that?!? How did he know? My mom never would have told him. It had to be Sara. Grrrr!!!

"How do you know about the lake? What did she…"

"By she, I assume you mean Sara. And _she_ didn't tell me anything. I'm a crime scene investigator—I notice stuff. I noticed that right after the trip the four of you were supposed to take to the lake, your mom and Sara never—ever—spoke anymore unless it was about a case. Sara quit smiling every time your mom walked in a room and your mom made up some lame ass excuse to leave a room every time Sara walked in it. So, I concluded that something had happened. I tried asking Sara and just said that nothing had happened. I tried asking your mom and got the same response. I knew _something_ had happened but no one would tell me. I should have realized that the _something_ was actually _someone_—you."

I didn't need him to be on their side, too. "Not you too, Greg."

"I'm not picking sides here. I just know that your mom has been lonely for a while and Sara has been lonely for a while. And great loves comes from great passion. Those two have had great passion for years because of all the hatred between the two. What is that you have against Sara?"

"Who said I have anything against Sara?"

Okay, it's bad when a grownup who acts like a kid looks at you like you're totally stupid—which is what Greg is doing right now. "There are only two reasons they would have quit talking to each other. Either Allie didn't like Catherine or you didn't like Sara. And I know that Allie loves your mom to death because every time I see her she asks if I brought _Caferin_ with me. So that leaves you, kiddo."

I was about to answer him when Greg jumped out of his seat and took off down the hall to Sara's room. He stepped in front of a woman trying to go into Sara's room and was still arguing with her by the time I got to them.

"She's fine. Just leave. I can promise you that she doesn't want to see you," Greg told her as he grabbed her by the arm and tried to pull her down the hall.

"Let me go, you lovesick puppy. The hospital called me. Seems I'm still listed as her next of kin. So I'm going in whether you like it or not."

About that time, a nurse came up and asked if there was a problem. When Greg turned to answer her, the woman pushed past him and into Sara's room.

"Greg, who was that?"

He hung his head—just as the yelling in the room started again. "That was Julie."

"Who is Julie and why did she want to see Sara. Mom says Sara doesn't have _any_ friends."

He laughed before saying, "Sara actually has a lot of friends. But that woman there was no friend of Sara's. She's Allie's mom—and Sara's ex."

"Oh." I knew this wasn't going to be good.


	53. Chapter 53

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I was sitting there talking with Allie and trying to calm down after kicking Catherine out when the door to my room swung open again. And there was Catherine—again.

"Catherine! I told you to get out!" I was certain the entire hall and possibly the floors above and below me could hear me yelling at her.

"I know what you said, Sara. But I'm not going anywhere. It's going to take more than yelling to get me to leave."

I went to reach for the nurse button on my bed but my hand was stopped by hers. "I know you can only move the one arm, so as long as I'm holding this hand, you can't call for the nurse." 

I know I have serious control issues—mainly that I like to be in control. I was not in control of this situation. I smiled at Allie and said, "Put your fingers in your ears and hum for mommy, sweetie."

She puckered her brow and said, "You're gonna say bad words."

"Yes, I am. Now, do as I say, Allie."

She did as I asked her and started humming the theme music to some inane cartoon she must have watched at Catherine's. "I really don't give a damn about what you want anymore, Catherine. I said I want you out of here."

Her blue eyes sparkled as she said, "We both know that the last thing in the world you really want is for me to leave. Just because my kid keeps trying to…"

I squeezed her hand as tightly as I could. I saw her flinch. "I told you at the lake that unless Lindsey was agreeable to us seeing each other I wasn't going…"

Well, that's definitely one way to shut me up. I couldn't even finish what I was saying before Catherine had her lips bearing down on mine and was tracing my bottom lip with her tongue. She slowly sucked first my bottom lip and then my top lip, before pulling back and saying, "Can I talk now?"

All I could do was nod.

"Good. Now listen, I've spoken to Lindsey and…"

"Cath, she doesn't like me. This is never going to work. We both just need to give up the ghost, so to speak. I care…"

Once again, I found myself unable to speak because Catherine's tongue was in my mouth. I couldn't help but wonder if this is where the phrase _tongue tied_ had come from. Probably not, but oh well.

She pulled back from the kiss with a satisfied smirk on her face. Allie, of course, was still humming and had her fingers firmly planted in her ears.

"Now, as I was saying. I know Lindsey blames you for not finding who killed her father." My face sank as she echoed Lindsey's earlier words. "At least, I know that now since she just told me." I turned away from Catherine. I didn't want her to see how hurt I was by Lindsey's revelation that I had let her down and the knowledge that this was the source of her hatred for me.

"Sara, I told her she could continue to be a bitch and I'd continue to see you or she could be a decent human being. Either way, I don't want to lose you."

She didn't want to lose me. I slowly turned to her and saw the tears ready to fall down her dove-white cheeks. "Catherine, I care about you. I do. But your daughter has some serious issues with me. I have someone else to think about now—_my child_. I'm not entirely certain that I want Allie around Lindsey right now."

She pulled back from me, searching for an explanation. She dropped my hand and took a step back away from the bed. "You don't want Allie around Lindsey."

"No, I don't. Not right now. In the future, maybe. But Lindsey has some issues that she needs to deal with before I'm comfortable with her being around Allie. Allie is going through enough as it is without being subjected to your daughter's angry episodes."

Catherine was processing the information. "Okay then. The kids stay away from each other. But that doesn't mean that we can't go out and do things—just the two of us."

I guess I hadn't quite made myself clear on this issue. "Catherine…"

Before I could finish, my room door swung open once again. This visitor was even more unwelcome than the first. _Julie._

She came up to the side of the bed that Catherine was standing on and leaned over and kissed me before I could say anything. "Oh baby, are you okay? The hospital called me."

I looked from Catherine to Julie and back to Catherine again. She smiled weakly and said, "Well, I hope you feel better soon, Sara. Thanks again."

Suddenly my voice had returned, "Catherine! Wait!" But she was gone.

I looked at Julie. _Could this day get any more fucked up?_


	54. Chapter 54

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

How could I be so stupid? Someone like Sara wasn't going to wait around for a month for me to decide to talk to her much less decide that I did want to date her. I was just shocked to see that the person she was seeing was her ex.

Never in a million years did I expect that the strung out junkie Sara had taken Allie from would be back in her life. She just waltzed in and planted a kiss on Sara. And all Sara did was look at me and then her and back at me. It was her silent explanation of why we couldn't be together.

And I understood. I had waited too long. Even though four weeks wasn't that long for me, I guess in the lesbian world, four weeks was a lifetime. I'm sure Sara, Sofia or Wendy could make some joke about time and lesbians.

I smiled weakly at her, having realized my place in this totally fucked up situation. "Well, I hope you feel better soon, Sara. Thanks again."

I turned and left her room as quickly as I could. I could hear her calling my name and telling me to wait as I made my escape.

When I got in the hallway, there stood a very nervous Greg and a very penitent Lindsey. I nodded in Greg's direction before speaking to Lindsey.

"Come on, Linds. We're going home. I need to get some sleep before work."

She was almost reticent as she said, "What about Sara?"

I looked back at the door to her room. "She has someone to take care of her. She'll be fine. Now let's go."

Greg took a step toward us and opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "I'll see you in a few hours, Greg."

I was power walking to the car and Lindsey was struggling to keep up.

"Why are you running to get out of here?"

"Lindsey, I'm tired. I didn't sleep very well. I want a little bit of rest before going back to work tonight."

She crossed her arms over her chest and began pouting. "I thought you said you had a couple of days off after what happened. Why are you going to work?"

"Lindsey, I'm not in the mood to argue."

"Fine, but what about Sara? I thought you were going to talk to her and fix what I had messed up for you."

"Well, you get your wish Lindsey. You don't have to worry about Sara liking me or us being together or you getting sent away. Sara is seeing the woman that went in her room while I was there."

"That was her ex. They're not together."

My kid had no idea what she was talking about. She was obviously depending on Greg for her information and it was faulty information.

"Yes, they are, Lindsey. She kissed her when she came in the room. And before she came in, Sara was busy telling me that we couldn't see each other outside of work before that woman came in. So you see, you get what you wanted all along Lindsey."

I looked at my daughter. She was in full-fledged pouting mode. "You should be happy. Ecstatic, even. Want me to pull over so you can do a dance on the side of the road? Or we can stop at one of those T-shirt shops on the strip and you can get one made that says _I won and all I got was this lousy T-shirt._"

"I thought you wanted Sara," she said sincerely.

I chortled at her declaration. "We don't always get what we want in life, Lindsey. Never let it be said that I told you that you did."

I reached over and turned the radio up no longer wishing to continue this conversation with my daughter. My head was swimming with the realization that I had missed my chance with Sara and my heart was the lead weight that was going to pull me under.

There was only one thing I could do. I was going to throw myself into my work. That, and I was going to get over whatever I had felt for Sara. Okay, so that's two things.


	55. Chapter 55

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I stared at the now shut door before turning my attention to the woman standing beside me.

"Julie, what are you doing here?"

She leaned down and kissed me again. "I told you baby. The hospital called me. I guess you still have me listed as your next of kin or something." She was brushing my hair out of my face. "What were you thinking getting yourself shot?"

Allie had been glaring at Julie. The little girl had not yet forgotten being abandoned by her mother. "She was protectin' Caferin. She's Caferin's hero." For once, I was wishing that my little girl could be a little less cute and little quieter.

Once again, the door opened and in walked Greg. "Greg! Do me a favor. Take Allie and go get her something to eat."

He avoided eye contact with Julie but came over and grabbed Allie and disappeared out the door.

"Julie, I don't know why they called you. And you and I both know you should have never come here. Allie doesn't need you popping in and out of her life like this. She's been doing great the last few months."

She sat on the edge of the bed, taking my hand in hers. "Baby, I'm not here for Allie. I'm here for you. I'm going to take care of you—just like I used to do. Okay?"

I'm certain a million emotions don't exist, but I was certainly running the gamut on them. On the one hand, Julie was familiar. She had broken my heart, but at least she _knew _me. We had a child together. When she wasn't using drugs or running around on me, she was pretty good. On the other hand, she _had_ broken my heart. She left our child with me and signed over all parental rights. She was a drug user who couldn't be trusted because she had a tendency to whore around.

She could see the feelings playing across my face and leaned down to kiss me again—a passionate kiss. I made my mind up with that kiss. As soon as it was broken, I smiled breathlessly at her and said, "I want you out of this room before Allie gets back. You're out of my life and hers. For good. Get that?"

"What I get is that you're fucking that bitch that was in here when I got here, aren't you? That's Catherine, isn't it? You were always talking about her. You made it sound like you hated her. Obviously I was wrong. Shit, Allie even said you saved Catherine's life. You don't do that for someone you hate!"

"Are you fucking some bitch other than me, Sidle?" came the sultry voice of Sofia as she crossed the room to my bed. Great, now I have to deal with Sofia. Of course, she has a gun and handcuffs, she can get rid of Julie rather quickly.

"Who the hell are you?" Julie said banefully.

Before I could introduce Julie to Sofia, Sofia crossed the room to her, put one hand on her own hip effectively accentuating her gun and badge and said, "I'm Sofia Curtis. Detective Sofia Curtis. And Sara never fucks me—I fuck her. Isn't that right, baby?"

Holy shit! Sofia is pretending to be my girlfriend. I think I'm going to go along with this for a while.

I cock my head to the side and stare at Julie, "That's right. Sofia and I are together."

"I don't believe you. She's not your type. She's too self-confident to ever be with someone like you," Julie spat at me.

Sofia brushed Julie aside and leaned down, winking at me as she crushed her lips against mine. My one good arm found its way up to the back of her head and pulled her down harder into the kiss as she let one hand wander across my stomach. I'm certain we were putting on one helluva show for Julie. My god that woman can kiss.

As she pulled back from the kiss, she used the back of her hand to wipe her mouth. "Now, I suggest you get the fuck out before I find some reason to arrest you. And I promise you, you won't enjoy me using my handcuffs on you nearly as much as Sidle over here does."

Julie promptly left the room.


	56. Chapter 56

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sofia's POV_

I couldn't help but smile to myself as that worthless piece of shit ex walked out of Sara's room. I turned back to Sara who was still staring at me wide-eyed.

"Do you kiss Wendy like that?" she asked me.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I save the good kisses for her. That was a _hi-how are ya_ kinda kiss."

"WOW! Well, in case no one has ever told you before, you can kiss. You certainly can kiss, Sofia."

"I'm certain you get your share of kisses from Catherine. A woman like that has to know how to kiss. Right?"

"We've kissed a few times."

"Speaking of Cath, where is she? I expected her to be here."

"She was here earlier. She left."

"And she left Allie here? Wendy said she stormed in last night and took Allie."

"I told her to leave Allie. I didn't want her staying with Catherine and Lindsey. I told her that Greg, you or Wendy would take care of her."

"What's wrong with Allie staying with Catherine and Lindsey? I think that's actually the best situation for all parties involved."

"You don't know anything about the situation or the _real_ parties involved, Sof."

"Then why don't you try enlightening me, Sar." I couldn't help being sarcastic with her.

"It doesn't matter. If you won't take care of Allie, I'm certain that Greg or Wendy will."

I sat down in the chair beside her bed. "This isn't about Allie and me not being willing to take care of her, because you know that I will. This is about whatever the fuck was going on before I walked in that door. What was she doing here?"

Sara sank back against the pillow behind her head. "She said the hospital called her because I still had her listed as the next of kin on my emergency contact list." She turned to face me. "Catherine was here when she first walked in. We were talking. Julie just came right in and pushed past Catherine and kissed me. She was acting like we were back together. The look on Catherine's face. My god, Sof, I couldn't even say anything. And then she just turned so professional. She told me she hoped I felt better soon and thanked me. And then she left. By the time I could talk and called her name and asked her to wait, she was gone."

"That's pretty fucked up, Sara."

"Thanks for the apt assessment, Dr. Phil. Between Lindsey being, well, Lindsey and Julie pulling this shit, I don't think there's any hope of anything happening between me and Catherine. I think that ship has sailed."

"So you're just going to give up on something between the two of you?"

"Yeah, I think so. Lindsey hates my guts. She thinks I didn't try hard enough to find out who killed her father. And on some level, I know she got that attitude from Catherine. I may not be an expert on kids, but I know that they sometimes adopt the feelings of the adults in their lives as their own. And Catherine certainly didn't make her feelings about that case a secret. Every one knows she felt like I couldn't do my job and that I called the case too early."

"So a teenager gets to make decisions about your love life?"

"I don't expect you to understand this. Being a parent is…complicated. I wouldn't want to date anyone that my daughter didn't like or that didn't like my daughter. I told Catherine that I wouldn't pursue anything with her unless Lindsey approved. Allie isn't a problem. She adores Catherine. But Lindsey…that kid has some major issues. Catherine is going to have her hands full with her for the next few years. I can see it now. There will be smoking. There will be drinking. I guarantee you that the kid has a tat within the year. And sex—I wouldn't be surprised to see her using sex to cope with the shit that she's going through. Catherine should have gotten therapy for her after Eddie was killed. Instead, she just swamped herself in work and ignored the situation. Now, Lindsey is an angry, bitter teenager. If I didn't have Allie, I might still try to date Catherine. But I'm not exposing my daughter to Lindsey. I don't trust her."

I leaned forward in my chair. "Sounds like you know an awful lot about what Lindsey is going to go through in the next few years."

"I should. Do me a favor Sofia. Greg took Allie to get her something to eat. Can one of you guys take her for the evening? I get out of here in the morning. Can you come and pick me up and take me home?"

I stood up to speak to her. "You know, I should use the handcuffs on you like I implied to your ex that I had." I threw my hands up in the air. "You know what? This is your life. I'm your friend, I'll do whatever you want. I'll take Allie home with me and one of us will pick you up in the morning. Happy?"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely ecstatic. Can't you tell?"

"Get some rest, Sara. You look like shit!"

I turned and walked out of the room.

I found Greg in the hospital cafeteria and explained to him what had happened in the room after he had taken Allie. He wanted to spend a little more time with Allie and said that he'd give me a call when he was bringing her over.

"Call me on my cell. I've got some errands to run so it will be a while before I make it home."

As I pulled up in front of the house of Catherine Willows, I couldn't help but wonder if I was doing the right thing. Their little tango around one another had been humorous at first, but here we were a couple of months later and the relationship so many of us were rooting for had gone nowhere but backwards.

I had to knock on the door for several minutes before someone answered it. Catherine was half-asleep as she cracked the door open and looked at me through squinted eyes. When she recognized me, she threw the door open completely and said, "Sofia! What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did something happen to Sara?" Her voice was filled with panic.

I walked into the house and shut the door behind me. "Nothing else has happened to Sara. Something is wrong though."

"You want something to drink?"

"No, I'm only going to be here for a few minutes."

She came back into the living room and offered me a seat on the couch. "So, what's wrong?"

"You and Sara."

"Excuse me?"

"You and Sara. That's what's wrong."

"There is no me and Sara. And after what I saw today, there never will be."

"You're talking about that skanky ex of hers that showed up in her hospital room?" She nodded. "I got rid of her in short order. Sara was so pissed that she had shown up. And she was even more pissed off that you left the way you did."

"That slut stuck her tongue down Sara's throat while I was standing there. I wasn't going to stand there and watch her fuck her, too."

I couldn't help but laugh at this situation. "You know, you two hated each other for six years and then Allie brings the two of you together. And now, you two…"

"Sofia, there is no us. There is no _two_ when talking about me and Sara. There is Sara and then there's me. And you butting in is not going to change that. We're both big girls. We can deal with this without your interference."

"So are you telling me that you have no feelings at all for her?"

Catherine stood and walked back toward the kitchen. I followed her. I needed to be able to read her body language when she answered my questions.

"I have feelings for Sara. I don't know exactly what those feelings are. When she was shot…Sofia, I froze. I couldn't even touch her. I couldn't speak to her. If you hadn't shown up and started putting pressure on her wound, she would have bled out. She saw that man holding a gun on me and she came in there and put herself in harm's way and she got shot. I couldn't have done that. If that had been her in that room, I don't know that I could have done that because of Lindsey. She has a daughter now and she still did that. I can't…"

Catherine started sobbing uncontrollably. I put my arms around her and held her until she calmed down.

"Cath? Cath, you're getting my shirt all snotty. How about a Kleenex or a hankie?"

She pulled back at me and was visibly embarrassed by her emotional outburst.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to get so upset. It's just…Fuck! Why can't anything ever be easy when it comes to this shit?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her. My phone started ringing. "Curtis…Yeah, Greg….I'm at Catherine's….Yeah, bring her over here."

I turned my attention back to Catherine. "Greg is going to drop Allie off here. You don't mind keeping her tonight do you?" I didn't give her time to answer. "Good. And look, Sara needs someone to pick her from the hospital in the morning. You'll do that too, right?" Once again, no time to answer. "Great. Well, gotta go."


	57. Chapter 57

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I am so ready to get out of this hospital. The nurse told me that my doctor would be here in a few minutes to go over all that crap that they have to tell you before you leave the hospital. I keep glancing from the door to my room back to my watch. It's like waiting for water to boil.

After a few minutes, the door finally opened and in walked some very hot woman. I had to smile at her. I just had to. "Hi there. How are you?"

She smiled back. _Good sign._ "I'm doing well. How about you? How are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling like I'm ready to get out of here if the damn doctor would just hurry up and get here."

She laughed. "Doctors can be a real pain in the ass. They're sorta like cops. Never around when you need one."

I couldn't help but frown at her comment. She moved toward me and started to unbutton my shirt. My eyes went wide with shock. "Usually I like for a woman to buy me a drink or two before she starts to undress me." Okay, so I was flirting. I might not have use of my arm, but my eyes and every other part of my definitely worked.

She stilled her movements. "Ms. Sidle, I'm Dr. Casey Jenkins. I'm your doctor. I'm just going to check your wound one more time before I release you."

I felt my face turn red with embarrassment. "I am…"

Her laughing cause me to shut up immediately. "…very cute when you blush." Her hands went back to checking my wound. "It looks like you're going to make a full recovery. You have no idea how lucky you are that there wasn't more damage. Now, you have to promise that the next time you want to spend some time in the hospital it'll be just because you want to visit me."

Okay, I know now that she was officially flirting with me. "Does that mean I'm not welcome here if I'm working a case?"

"Oh you can still come in to work cases, but you're no longer allowed to be a patient here. That lab you work for—they issue you a bullet proof vest?"

"Uh, yeah. They do."

Her voice turned stern, "Then wear it. I'm sure they didn't intend for you to leave it hanging in your locker when they gave it to you."

"Yes, dear. Any thing else, doc?"

"Yeah. Here are the rules for the next few weeks," she handed me a sheet of paper. "I trust that you can read those. You have an appointment with me next week to check this shoulder out. Here's the appointment card. I want you to do some physical therapy starting later this week. No sense in you losing any mobility in that arm." She leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "I'm sure you girlfriend wouldn't appreciate you not being able to use that arm properly." She pulled back, obviously surprised at her own boldness.

I bent forward and said, "I don't have a girlfriend." I flashed her a grin that made her blush.

"In that case," she took one of the papers from my hand and scribbled something on it. "Here's my number. Call me sometime."

At that moment, Allie came running into the room. "Mommy!!!"

"Hey sweetie!" I pushed myself off of the bed so that I could kneel down and hug her. "Did Wendy or Sofia bring you here?"

"I did. I hope that's okay." Catherine walked into the room looking more stunning than I had seen her look in recent in memory.

"Catherine, why is Allie with you?" Even though this was a conversation that I should be having with her in private—and not in front of the woman who had just given me her number—I had to ask the question.

Instead of answering me, she walked over and introduced herself to the doctor. "Hi, I'm Catherine Willows."

The doctor looked at Catherine and then down at me and Allie. "This is my little girl, doc."

She kneeled down and stuck her hand out to Allie. Instead of taking it, Allie ran to Catherine who promptly picked her up. "I guess she's being a little shy today," Catherine quickly said in defense of Allie.

She made eye contact with Catherine and started speaking. "That's understandable. I was afraid of doctors when I was her age, too. They poke, prod, and stick people." Then she turned to me and said, "I guess I'll see you at your appointment next week, Ms. Sidle. Don't forget about your physical therapy. And you are ready to get out of her. Your girlfriend," she looked in Catherine's direction, "needs to make sure you take it easy for a while."

Fuck! She thinks Catherine is my girlfriend and that I was lying before when I said I didn't have a girlfriend.

She nodded in Catherine and Allie's direction before leaving. That left just me, Catherine, and Allie in the room.

"Catherine, what are you doing here? And like I said before, why is Allie with you?"

"Sofia had Greg drop her off at my place last night. And Sofia said you needed me to pick you up this morning. Is there anything wrong with that?"

I sighed heavily and hung my head. "Cath, I told you I didn't want Lindsey around Allie."

"She wasn't. Lindsey was at my sister's last night. I planned on going in to work, but then decided against it. Linds was already at Nancy's so I didn't go back and pick her up. It was just me and Allie last night."

"Catherine…"

Catherine put Allie down and walked over to me. "Shhh," she said as she put her fingers against my lips. "Lindsey has some issues. And that's my fault. I've been too lenient with her and I haven't been around enough for her. I'll deal with that. Something was happening between us. You can't say that it wasn't."

"I know something was happening. But Cath…" Once again, she pressed her fingers against my lips. I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get to finish a sentence around her.

"Give me a chance. Give us a chance. Maybe it won't work out between us. Maybe it will. It's a chance I want to take. It's a chance I need to take."

With my one good arm, I pulled her toward me. Her arms immediately went around my waist, but she was careful not to pull me too close to her to avoid hurting my shoulder. I kissed her forehead before kissing her softly on the lips. "I'm not saying never, Cath. I'm just saying not right now."

I've seen Catherine angry, hurt, confused, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I wasn't prepared for the look on her face when I told her we couldn't be together right now.

She pulled away from me but I managed to grab her hand. "Cath, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She was lying. She had too many tells to ever be a poker player. "Let's get you out of here and back home." She smiled at me as she picked up Allie and the bag containing the cards and few personal items I had here in my hospital room.

I wanted to be with Catherine. I really did. I was, well, I don't know what was holding me back.


	58. Chapter 58

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

It's been a little more than a month since Sara was shot. She's been back at work for two weeks but has been restricted to working in the lab. We haven't really spoken about anything other than work, both of us choosing to ignore anything of a personal nature out of fear or sheer stupidity.

I was walking into the locker room when I nearly bumped into Sara coming out. I just smiled and hurried past her. It was Saturday morning and I had promised Lindsey that we'd go out for breakfast. I was running late—as usual.

I changed and hurried to my sister's to pick Lindsey up. An hour later, we were sitting in one of our favorite diners having breakfast and chatting about everything that had happened the previous week. Lindsey had a crush on the new kid, but so did her best friend. They were at odds as to who deserved him more.

The last couple of weeks with Lindsey have been going very smoothly. She's seeing a therapist weekly now and working on her _issues_. She's excited about her next appointment, but I'm dreading it. We're supposed to go to that appointment together. Sitting through a therapy session is right up there with a visit to the dentist for a root canal without any pain killers.

I was in the process of telling Lindsey one of Greg's lame jokes when a familiar person walked into the diner. Tall, dark hair, sunglasses, confident swagger. And holding her hand was a tall, blonde, doctor.

"Mom? What's the punch line? Finish telling your joke."

"Huh? The punch line? You know what? It's not a very funny joke anyway. Are you about done? Ready to go home? Maybe we could swing by the arcade first? Or do you want wait and go to a movie a little later on?"

"You're like going 100 mph, mom. What is going on?"

"Nothing, I'm just ready to get out of here. It was a long shift."

"Alright, let's go then," she said as she pushed herself out of the booth. I followed suit. I hung my head, hoping that I could avoid seeing Sara or having her see me. I'd have no such luck.

"Sara!" Lindsey said as she walked straight towards the booth Sara and her _friend_ were seated in—side by side.

"Oh, hey Lindsey. How are you?" she appeared to be shocked to see us.

The doctor with Sara put her arm around Sara's shoulder and said, "Ms. Willows, it's nice to see you again. Is this your daughter?"

My eyes never left Sara's as I answered her. "Yes, this is my daughter Lindsey. Well, Sara, it was nice to see you and your friend. I'm sure you want to enjoy your date. We should get going."

I turned Lindsey's shoulders toward the door and gave her a nudge in that direction. I was crossing the threshold of the door when I felt her hand on my arm. "Cath?"

I pulled my arm free and turned to face her. "Don't. I don't want to hear it." I was fighting tears and I couldn't afford for her to see the dam burst.


	59. Chapter 59

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

It was my day off and I was trying to sleep in. Casey was supposed to be stopping by after her shift at the hospital but whoever was banging on my door was way too early.

As I trudged toward the door of my apartment, I was overcome with the hope that this was a Girl Scout or Jehovah's Witness. I would take extreme pleasure in being mean to either. Even better, would be a Jehovah's Witness wearing a Girl Scouts uniform. I was smiling to myself at my little imagined situation. I looked through the peephole and saw Lindsey Willows standing there.

Begrudgingly, I opened my door. "Lindsey, what are you doing here?"

She was nervously shifting her weight from one foot to the other and avoiding eye contact with me.

"Is something wrong? Where's your mom?"

She released the death grip her teeth had on her bottom lip and quietly responded, "She's at home. She's asleep."

"How did you get here?" I knew for a fact that Catherine lived on the other side of town. There was no way the kid had walked here.

"I, uh, had a friend drop me off."

I moved to the side and motioned for her to come inside. I shut the door behind her and followed her into the living room. "Here, have a seat." She sat down on the edge of a cushion on my couch. "Linds, what are you doing here? Why would you have someone drop you off at my apartment? Better yet, how did you know where I lived?"

"Mom has your address written down. And I had someone drop me off because I needed to talk to you."

"Does your mom know that you're here?" She shook her head in response. "Lindsey, she is going to freak out when she wakes up and you're gone. Did you think about that?"

"I doubt it. She took a sleeping pill. She probably won't wake up until sometime tomorrow." She looked at me with that _duh_ expression that all teenagers have perfected. "And I did leave a note. And my note did not tell her I was coming here. It said that I was going over to a friend's house and that I had my cell with me in case she needed to call."

"Your mom will flip the fuck out if she finds out you're here."

"Can we get back to _why_ I'm here? I want to talk to you."

I was really beginning to think that having Lindsey here wasn't a good idea. But what the hell? It's not like anything was ever going to happen between me and Catherine now?

"Where's Allie?" She asked with what appeared to be genuine interest.

"Uh, Greg was taking her to the zoo today. But back to you, kiddo. What did you want to talk about?"

She hung her head and took a deep breath before speaking. "I think I'm the reason that you're not dating my mom."

Well, the kid was pretty much right. But I can't tell her that. Even I'm not that stupid when it comes to kids. "Linds, the situation between me and your mom is very complicated. The only people responsible for the two of us not being together right now are me and her. It has nothing to do with you and it has nothing to do with Allie."

"That's not what she told Aunt Nancy." I looked at her in confusion before she continued to explain. "I heard her telling Aunt Nancy that you didn't want Allie around me because I was so _messed up_ I think is the words she used. And that you told her that you two couldn't be together. And I know this is all my fault—because of what happened at the lake and what I said to you in your room. But ya gotta know, what I said in your room was just me trying to explain to you why I was so angry with you. My therapist…"

I cut her off. "You have a therapist?"

"Yeah, we're working through my _anger issues_. Obviously I'm still very angry about my daddy and taking it out in unhealthy ways on the people around—usually my mom. And it seems as if my greatest fear is losing the only parent I have left. I found that out yesterday. And my mom is even going to the appointment with me next week."

"I'm glad to know that you're getting help for whatever problems you have, Lindsey. But seriously, this stuff between me and your mom, I'm not comfortable talking about it with you."

She slid back against the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. "We're going to do this like my doctor does me, okay?"

Oh boy, I'm going to get psychoanalyzed by a kid. "Lindsey, listen to me. You know last week when you saw me in the diner?" She nodded her head. "I was with someone, remember that?" She nodded once again. "I've gone out with her a few times." Her eyes went wide with shock—and something else—possibly disappointment.

"Why?" she asked of me innocently.

I didn't know how to answer her. Shit, I didn't know if I could answer her. Why was I dating Casey? She was attractive, smart and funny—among other things.

Before I knew it I was answering her. "I don't know why. I just am."

"Is she who you want? Ohhhhhhhh…even better, if you were going to be on a desert island and could only have one person, would you want her there?"

Would I? I stood up and walked into the kitchen to grab something to drink. "Linds, you want something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

I came back in and sat down across from her. "I don't think I'd want her there on an island with me. Then again, she is a doctor, she'd come in quite handy if I were hurt or injured or needed medical advice."

This was obviously not the answer my young visitor was looking for as she frowned at me.

"Lindsey, what are you wanting me to say?"

"I want you to be honest with me. My therapist tells me that honesty is important—even if it hurts someone's feelings."

"And he's right. You should be honest. I just don't know that I can be honest with _you_ about this stuff." She raised an eyebrow in my direction—a move she obviously learned from her mother. "Let me grab a shower and get dressed and I'll drive you home." She hung her head and nodded in agreement.

I called Casey and cancelled on her for the evening, promising to call her as soon as I was free again. Then I quickly showered and dressed before returning to the living room. "Alright kiddo, let's go."

Her footsteps were heavy as we walked down the five flights of stairs to my truck. "You really should move into a place with an elevator that works. This is ridiculous," she said as she climbed into the truck.

After a relatively quiet drive, we pulled up in her driveway. She jumped out of the truck and ran inside. Once again, I was feeling like I was being led to meet my executioner. I locked the truck and approached the front door. Lindsey had left it ajar. I walked inside and was met with utter darkness—every blind and shade in the house was drawn closed and no lights were on. I was vaguely familiar with the layout of Catherine's house since I had been here a few times for team parties. But with the front door now shut, I was enveloped in complete darkness.

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a mini light I carry with me on my key chain. I knew the bedrooms were upstairs so I started up them. Once I reached the landing, I was able to put my light away. I stood outside the first door I came to and listened. I could hear Lindsey on the phone. I went to the next door and opened it—bathroom. Across the hall was another door—office/spare room. That left one door at the end of the hall—obviously it was the master suite. I took a deep breath before turning the knob.

Here's goes nothing—or here goes everything.

Her television was on and bathing her in a blue glow. She had obviously fallen asleep watching a movie. She was sprawled on her back with one leg under the covers and the other above it. Her breathing was deep and heavy. Lindsey was correct-- her mom had obviously taken a sleeping pill. I closed the door behind me and stepped toward the bed, removing my shoes and jackets as I got closer.

I sat down easily on the bed. Catherine didn't stir. I scooted up on the bed until I was even with Catherine. I reached out and brushed some hair out of her face. Her eyes fluttered, but didn't open. She was dreaming. I moved closer to her. My hand went from her face down over her arm and finally rested on her hip.

I inched closer to her. My own heart was beating furiously from being this close to her. I carefully slid my other arm under her pillow and pulled myself within millimeters of her face. _This feels so right. This is where I'm supposed to be._ Keeping my eyes open, I moved forward and boldly, but gently, pressed my lips to hers. There was no response, but I didn't draw back. Instead, I traced first her bottom lip with my tongue and then her top lip. My arm under her pillow and my hand on her hip worked in unison to pull us closer together. Catherine was stirring from her sleep, and barely parted her lips. This was the only invitation I needed to deepen the kiss. I sucked on her bottom lip before slowly caressing her tongue with mine.

She never opened her eyes, but her arms went around and pulled me closer to her. She shifted her weight, rolling over on top of me and continuing to kiss me. I pulled back slightly, mostly to catch my breath, but she pursued the kiss, refusing to let me break it. As my need for air became desperate, I rolled us over, pinning her beneath me. Her eyes opened as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Catherine, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm…"

"..Shut up and kiss me, Sara. Just shut up and kiss me." Who was I to continue to refuse Catherine? "Don't ever stop kissing me."

I couldn't help but pull back and smile at her. "Don't ever stop kissing you? What if I wanted to do this?" I moved to her neck and begin to kiss and nibble my way from her earlobe to her pulsepoint. She sighed.

"What if I wanted to do this?" I slid my hands under her shirt and pulled it up exposing her taut stomach. I slid down and began to flutter kisses across her stomach. She whimpered.

"What if I wanted to do this?" I pushed her shirt further up and quickly captured her left nipple between my lips, swirling my tongue around it before taking it between my teeth and tenderly pulling on it. She moaned against my touch and arched slightly into me.

She grabbed either side of my head and pulled me up to face her. "I'll let you do whatever you want—once you tell me why you're here."


	60. Chapter 60

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

It was my day off and I was trying to sleep in. Casey was supposed to be stopping by after her shift at the hospital but whoever was banging on my door was way too early.

As I trudged toward the door of my apartment, I was overcome with the hope that this was a Girl Scout or Jehovah's Witness. I would take extreme pleasure in being mean to either. Even better, would be a Jehovah's Witness wearing a Girl Scouts uniform. I was smiling to myself at my little imagined situation.

As I neared the door, a strange sense of déjà vu came over me. I remembered looking out this peephole, talking to Lindsey, climbing into bed with Catherine. Had it all been a dream? My fingers rose instinctively and touched my lips. I swear I remember the feel of her lips on mine. I remembered kissing her neck, her stomach and _oh my god_, sucking on her nipple. I could not have imagined that. The banging started again, shaking me from my memories.

I leaned in and looked through the peephole. It was Casey. I exhaled the breath I had been holding as I swung the door open.

"Well, this is a surprise," I faked a smile as I stepped aside and allowed her entrance into my abode.

She leaned in to kiss me as she stepped in. Something in me made me turn my head at the last second, presenting her with only my cheek to press her lips against.

"Is something wrong?" she asked as she pulled back and looked at me with confusion.

"No, nothing's wrong."

"Then why the cold shoulder?" She put her mouth next my ear and said, "You weren't so shy the last time I was here."

"Case, I think we should talk."

"Nothing good has ever come from those words." She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs as she leaned back into the cushions. "Okay, what are you wanting to talk about?"

I sat down on the table in front of her. I was still trying to shake the sleep from my mind when I started talking. "I want to talk about us."

"I'm guessing that there really isn't an _us_ since we're having this discussion."

Casey was an incredible woman—beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, a doctor, an incredible lover (I've never been able to say no to a beautiful woman). As I sat there looking at her and mentally preparing what I was going to say, I realized that she only had one thing against her. She wasn't Catherine.

"I'm a big girl, Sara. Just say whatever you want to say."

"I don't think I can be anything other than a friend to you from now on."

"A friend? You want to be my _friend_ from now on?"

"Yeah, I do. I know you want more, but I can't give it to you. I like you, Casey. I really do. But my feelings for you, they aren't what they should be. And you're great, I just don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" She laughed aloud. "You tell me now that you don't want to hurt me. Why did you go out with me—make love to me—if you didn't intend to see this through more than a couple of weeks?"

I stood up. I think better on my feet. "Casey, I don't want to argue with you about this."

She stood up, too. "We're not arguing. We're _talking_. That's what you wanted, right?"

"I didn't make love to you. I couldn't make love to you."

She stepped back and shook her head in uncertainty. "Excuse me? You didn't make love to me? You couldn't make love to me? What does that mean?"

"It means that we had sex. We fucked. I couldn't make love to you because I don't feel like that about _you_."

"This is about your friend—the one that came to pick you up from the hospital and that we saw in the diner that morning. Isn't it?"

It was like she was swinging a huge sledgehammer at a needle. Talk about hitting the nail on the head!

"I don't know that there will ever be anything between me and Cath. We spent six years hating each other and now…"

"Do you have feelings for her?"

"Casey, it's not that simple. Nothing is black and white with me and her. There's just a whole lotta shades of gray."

She laughed before saying, "You mix black and white and what do you get?" I figured it was a rhetorical question so I didn't bother answering her. "Gray. You get gray Sara."

"I'm sorry, Case."

She started toward the door and then turned abruptly and said, "You really deserve someone decent, Sara. You and Allie both do. Will she be good to you?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know that she'll be anything to me at this point. But I have to try."

"You know where to find me if it doesn't work out. Damn, I hate being mature about this shit sometimes." She shut the door behind her.

So…how do I get Catherine Willows to notice me?


	61. Chapter 61

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

"MOM!!!! Wake up! There's a delivery guy here with something for you."

I slowly crawled out of bed and stumbled down the stairs to the front door where Lindsey was standing and waiting on me.

"Catherine Willows?"

"Uh-huh." I'm really not a great conversationalist when I first wake up. It usually takes me a few cups of coffee and a hot shower to become fully cognizant of my surroundings.

"These are for you." In my hands he placed one of the most beautiful bouquet of tulips I had ever seen.

"Linds, get my purse." I tipped the young man rather generously.

"Who are they from?" Lindsey was as curious as I was.

"I dunno. Let's read the card and find out." I removed the card from its envelop and in an unfamiliar, yet feminine handwriting the message was simply _You are simply perfect._

"Someone thinks you're perfect? They must not know you very well." Even if it was a dig at me, I had to admit, I definitely preferred this side of my daughter to the bitchy clone that had replaced her until a few weeks ago.

"Ha Ha Ha! Very funny. Go clean your room." As she stomped up the stairs grumbling about my lack of a sense of humor, I was left to wonder who had sent me such a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

I was still busy cleaning the house an hour later when the doorbell rang. I opened it only to find myself face to face with the delivery man from earlier in the day.

"Hello again Ms. Willows. I have another delivery for you."

By this time, Lindsey was at my side. "Another delivery? Do you have a secret admirer?"

I smiled at the man who handed me an arrangement of various orchids. "What kind of flowers are those?" Lindsey asked.

"Those are orchids, little lady," the delivery man said before waving and walking back to his truck.

"Are you sure you don't have a secret admirer?"

I pulled the card from the arrangement and read it. _You are the embodiment of beauty._

"Seriously mom, what gives? Two bouquets of flowers in two hours? Who is sending them to you?"

"I have no idea Lindsey. Go finish cleaning your room."

She huffed as she headed back up the stairs.

I wasn't lying when I told my daughter that I had no idea who was sending me the flowers. I really didn't know. I knew who I _hoped_ it was. I seriously doubted she'd send me flowers though. It wasn't in her nature to be romantic like that.

Like clockwork, the doorbell rang an hour later. He just smiled as he put the small vase of forget-me-nots in my hands and turned to leave. Before I could read the card myself, Lindsey plucked it from the vase. _My feelings for you are true._

"You soooo have a secret admirer."

"Are you finished with that room yet?" She stomped up the stairs, yet again.

I was putting a load of laundry in the washer when the doorbell rang. Lindsey beat me to the door and took the tall vase of white lilies. I beat her to the card this time. _Life would be heavenly with you_.

"You know, this place is looking a little like a funeral home." She sniffed around the living room. "Kinda smells like one, too." She grinned, but recognized the look on my face. "I know—_go clean my room._"

I was on the phone with Nancy when the doorbell rang again. Lindsey had obviously been watching out of her window for the delivery truck because I swear the door was opening as the doorbell rang. She grabbed the card from the vase, leaving the delivery man standing there with the pink roses still in his hands. _Please believe me…_

"Please believe what?" She flipped the card over to see if it was continued on the back. "What are you supposed to believe?"

I arched my eyebrows at her. "I think I'm supposed to believe that I'm dropping you off at your Aunt Nancy's in an hour and your room will be clean."

"Oh yeah, my room." She was mumbling something about giving every thing she owned away and living a _modest life_ as she thundered up the stairs.

After I dropped Lindsey off at Nancy's, I headed in to work. I was pleased to find myself working in the lab that night as my mind was occupied with the numerous bouquets of flowers I had received. In my heart, I hoped it was Sara sending me the flowers. My head, as is often the case, overrode my heart. It stood to reason that Sara was now dating her doctor and that I stood no chance with her. She had made her feelings about a relationship with me perfectly clear. I've been trying to convince myself for a couple of weeks that this was for the best. I probably would have only hurt her. I would have realized that being with a woman wasn't what I wanted or once I had a taste of loving a woman, I'd want more than Sara could or would offer.

Instead of wondering about that, I was sitting here obsessing over those flowers. For the life of me I couldn't think of who would send me flowers with the messages that I received. None of the guys would do it—they valued life too much. Grissom was more likely to send a plant than flowers. And I hadn't dated in…shit, I couldn't even remember the last time I had a date. It might have been a fluke or a practical joke. Either way, before I realized it, my shift was over. I hadn't seen any of the guys or Sara all night. They'd each had a case and were still in the field as far as I knew.

I slipped off my lab coat and went to the locker room to grab my things.

As soon as I opened my locker, I noticed it. A single red rose.

I picked it up and held it to my nose, breathing its scent deeply.

I hadn't even realized she was in the room until she spoke. "A single red rose means _I love you_." She stepped toward me and kissed me gently on the lips. She brought her hand from behind her back. In it was a single white rose. "What I wanted to say was that _I'll love you for always_—if you'll give me a chance."

As tears fell freely down my face, I could only nod as I pulled her to me and clung to her like she was the last life preserver on a swiftly sinking ship.


	62. Chapter 62

**Mikachu22**—I think you're one of my biggest fans. Thanks for all the reviews! They make me want to write more.

**Foolyfool**—I'm not a student—I wish I was. I'm a high school English teacher. I even manage to teach a Creative Writing class. Of course, my students can't really read what I enjoy writing.

**Gryffindor620**—I deal with teenagers all day long. Lindsey is a little angel compared to some of the ones I deal with every day.

**SoFrost**—love me, huh? I swear, you're as bad as Sofia!

**Icklebitodd**—The flower chapter took forever to write because I was trying to choose the flowers that I could write an appropriate message for. Glad you liked it!

**s0ph1a**—Reviews are like fuel for my imagination—that's one reason I manage to update so fast. The other is that I love to write. I sit here with my laptop literally in my lap and write until I get tired—unless I have papers to grade. Then I still write until I get tired.  I am running out of ideas for stories though.

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I stood there holding a gently crying Catherine in my arms for what felt like an eternity before whispering in her ear. "How about we get out of here? Breakfast?"

She wiped her eyes as she bobbed her head up and down in agreement. I placed a kiss on her forehead before taking her hand in mine and leading her out of the lab.

"I'll drive." I led her to my truck and opened the door for her. She smiled at me as I closed the door.

I'm sure she expected me to take her to one of diners that the gang so often frequented. Instead, I drove past all of our familiar haunts.

"Sara, where are we going for breakfast?"

I grinned in her direction. "It's a surprise." I reached over and took her hand in mine, gently squeezing it before adding, "But if you're not up for a surprise, then we can go to one those diners back there. Totally up to you, sweetie."

"You've already surprised me half a dozen times in the last twenty four hours. I guess I can handle one more."

"Only one more? Hmmmm. I may have to adjust my plans then."

She blushed at the implication in my statement.

We arrived at my apartment a short time later and I immediately sensed hesitation on Catherine's part as I opened her door and held my hand out to her. She had the same look on her face that Allie did when I took her to the doctor a few weeks ago.

"You okay, Cath?" I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

"Yeah…uh….I dunno." She was still sitting in the truck and hadn't yet looked at me.

"It's just breakfast, Cath. Nothing more."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before taking my hand. "There better be coffee involved in this breakfast."

"Actually, probably no coffee. I know, shock of a lifetime that I'm not going to make coffee. Coffee won't really go with our breakfast this morning." I put my arm around her waist as we walked up the stairs to my apartment.

We finally make it up the four flights of stairs to my apartment.

"You can sit in the living room or you can come help me make breakfast."

"How about I admire you while you make breakfast?"

I flash her a smile before timidly cocking my head to the side and saying, "Just don't get in my way and don't tell me how to do anything. That drives me nuts."

"Me? Tell you what to do? Or tell you how to do something? That doesn't sound at all like me."

I was really enjoying the playful banter between us. I took out some strawberries and thinly sliced some of them. The rest I left whole.

"Wow, strawberries for breakfast! Is there more? Or is this it?"

I laughed sincerely at her question. "Fresh fruit is good for you, dumbass."

"So now my ass is dumb?"

I blushed. "No, your ass is gorgeous—firm and round—just like I like 'em."

"I didn't have you pegged as an ass woman, Sar."

"I'm an everything woman—as long as it's everything on you."

I was making French toast for us when she slid off her stool and moved to the fridge. "So, what are we drinking this morning?"

"I have some orange juice and some champagne there in the door of the fridge. It's a breakfast cocktail.

"Champagne with breakfast?"

"How about you just go have a seat at the table and I'll bring everything over in a few minutes."

I finished the toast and slid a few slices onto the plate. The strawberries made a nice garnish around the plate.

I pulled down a couple of champagne flutes and filled them halfway with the chilled juice and topped them off with the champagne. I placed the champagne flutes on the table before coming back with a couple of forks, the plate and dish of syrup.

"Only one plate?"

"Yeah. We only need one plate for breakfast."

I took a fork and cut off a piece of toast, dipped it into syrup and held it out to her. "Try it. You'll love it."

She looked at me cautiously before slowly—and might I add very sexily—closing her lips around the toast and pulling it off of the fork. I watched her slowly chew the toast. Her face suddenly turned into a smile. "Oh my god. That is delicious. What is it?" She picked up the other fork at the table and cut off another bite.

"I use cinnamon raisin bread instead of regular bread. Makes a huge difference—I think."

Catherine devoured the toast while I sat there and watched.

"Hungry?" A bit of syrup was on her chin. I reached out and wiped it away with my napkin. "I think you're supposed to put it all in your mouth." Afraid to have my hand speared if I reached for the toast that had almost disappeared, I opted instead for some of the strawberries I had used as a garnish on the plate. "Strawberries are good, too."

She looked down at the now clean plate and quickly put her hand over her mouth. "Sar, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to eat it all. It's just that…"

"Don't worry about it. I probably should have fixed more—or made my own plate."

I picked up the empty plate and put it in the sink. "Care to join me on the couch?" I took my drink and a bowl of strawberries to the couch. Catherine soon followed and sat down on the end of the couch opposite me.

"Cath, why are you way down there? Come on," I said as I patted the cushion next to me. "I won't bite you."

She scooted a bit closer, but not next to me. If she wasn't going to move next to me, I was going to have to move to her. Instead of sliding over next to her, I decided to try something a bit different.

I lay down and put my head in her lap. She just looked down at me. "Cath, are you afraid of being close to me? 'Cause that's the feeling I'm getting?"

"No, I'm not afraid of being close to you. That's ridiculous. Why do you think that?"

"You were hesitant to come up here for breakfast. I asked you to join me on the couch and you sat on the end opposite me. I asked you to move closer and you only moved a few inches in my direction. Together, that tells me that you're afraid of being close to me. So, what gives?"

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch. One hand moved to my stomach, where I quickly laced my fingers through it.

"I'm scared—not of being close to you. But of being with you."

I shot up off of her lap. "Scared of being with me?"

"Yeah, being with you."

"Why?"

"Sar, I've never been with a woman. NEVER. I kissed you. That's the extent of my experience. What if I don't know what I'm doing? What if I do something wrong? What if I'm so bad, you decide to sleep with men? What if…what if you don't like it? What if I don't like it? What if…that's all I keep thinking about. What if…what if…what if?"

"Quit thinking. If it happens, it happens. There are no pressures."

"I _want_ it to happen. I _really_ want it to happen."

I smiled at her before throwing a leg over her lap and straddling her. Her eyes went wide with surprise. "Sar…"

"Just shut up Catherine. If I ask you something, then you can talk." She nodded. "If I tell you to do something, will you do it?" She nodded again. "We'll stop as soon as you say so, okay?"

She looked like one of those bobble-heads as her chin bounced up and down.

I lowered my mouth to hers and her eyes sparkled up at me as our lips touched. The kiss went from gentle to passionate as I grabbed her hair with my hands and pulled her harder into the kiss. I felt her moan into the kiss. Her hands went to my waist and gripped my hips tightly. She was pulling me closer to her. I felt her arch into me as our kiss continued.

I pulled back from the kiss. Her eyes were black with lust. "Did you like the kiss?"

"Fuck yeah." She said as she leaned forward to capture my lips again. I jerked back, avoiding her lips.

"Touch me."

"I am touching you," she said defensively. Taking note of the look on my face, she added, "Where do you want me to touch you?"

"Where ever you feel comfortable."

She was biting her bottom lip as she slid her hands from my hips up under the tail of my shirt. I shivered as her fingers touched the skin right below my ribs. Her eyes were now locked with mine. She pulled my shirt a little further up with one hand and ran the fingers of her other hand across my stomach. I licked my lips in response.

She pulled my shirt further up, nearly tucking it under my arms.

I laughed and reached down to pull it over my head. "Is that better?"

She smiled a devilish smile and winked at me.

Both hands started at my waist and moved up and over my ribs before coming up and cupping my breasts. She was alternating between watching her hands and looking into my eyes. Her thumbs brushed over my nipples. I fought the urge—and the need—to growl in response. Emboldened by my response, she tenderly pinched my nipples between her thumbs and forefingers. My breath hitched in response.

I was surprised that I could even breathe with her hands on me. It actually was becoming more difficult to breathe. I was going to have to slow things down before I needed more than Catherine was willing to give.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was about to speak when I felt her hands leave my breasts and slip around my back. She released the hooks on my bra. I was about to speak when I felt warmth and wetness surround my nipple.

"Catherine, we have to…"

She bit down softly on my nipple as she began to slowly roll the other one between her fingers.

"We need to…"

She moved her mouth to my other nipple and began repeating her process. She certainly didn't seem like a novice at this.

"Why don't we…"

I suddenly found it hard to speak with her tongue in my mouth. I was having a hard time doing anything other than reacting to her touch as she was no longer being gentle. She was twisting my nipples and sucking my bottom lip when my libido was sent over the edge.

My eyes flew open and my hands grabbed hers. I quickly maneuvered so that she was on her back on the couch and I was on top of her, pinning her hands above her head.

"Catherine, do I have your attention?"

She waggled her eyebrows at me as she licked her lips. "Oh yeah, you have my attention, baby." Her voice was sultry and I don't think I had ever heard anything sexier in my life.

"We need to slow down. Ten minutes ago you were scared of being with me and now…well, now you seem more confident than I am."

"What if I don't want to slow down? What if I don't want to stop what we've started?"

Holy fuck! What am I going to do now?


	63. Chapter 63

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

A/N: I've spent 62 chapters trying to get these two together. I've had hints of mild smut here and there throughout it. Now, I'm faced with the challenge of writing you guys some real smut. Borrowing from Sam (Quantum Leap), "Oh boy!"

Here goes! And please, be kind if I disappoint you—you don't really want to bruise my fragile ego, do you?

_Catherine's POV_

Sara was on top of me and had me pinned to the couch. I don't think I had ever been as turned on as I was at that moment. She was topless (thanks to me) and her eyes were dark with need and desire.

She had my arms in one of her hands above my head. She was using her other hand on the couch to prop herself up.

"We need to slow down. Ten minutes ago you were scared of being with me and now…well, now you seem more confident than I am." She seemed hesitant to follow through with what we had started.

I was trying to decide if she was right or if we should just go with the flow. I make up my mind—for both of us. "What if I don't want to slow down? What if I don't want to stop what we've started?" I bring my legs up and wrap them around her waist and waggle my eyebrows at her.

Before I realize what's going on, Sara has managed to get us off the couch without breaking our contact. We're walking down the hall kissing each other with my legs still wrapped around her waist. We stop just outside her bedroom door. Her hands her firmly planted on my ass, helping to keep me pressed firmly against her stomach. "We can still wait if you want. We don't have to do this right now."

Instead of speaking, I try to convey all that I'm feeling into a kiss while I try my damnedest to find the doorknob behind me and open her bedroom door. As I feel it open behind me, I lean back slightly, shifting our collective weight so that Sara has to take a step into the room to balance us.

"Sneaky!"

Once we're in the room, she walks us toward the bed and leans over and begins to extricate me from her body. I groan in protest as we're not longer touch. "Shhhh. I'll be back beside you in just a minute." She leaves the room. I can faintly hear her speaking to someone and then she's back. As soon as she walks in, she explains, "I didn't want any interruptions. Greg is keeping Allie until later today for me. Both of our cell phones are turned off and the house phone is off the hook." She climbs up the bed from the foot toward me. God this woman is sexy!

She came up the bed and settled beside me. I started to roll over to face her, but she stilled my movements. "Your back. I want your back to me." I rolled away from her, so that my back was against her chest. She slid one arm under my neck and sought my hand. She laced our fingers together. She rested her other hand on my hip. Even being touched like this—by her—was incredibly erotic. She whispered, "You can tell me to stop at any time, okay?" I nodded, as words had long since failed me.

Her grip on my hip tightened as she began kissing my neck. I moved my head, hoping to give her more area to work with on my neck. Her kisses were slow and teasing. Her mouth was warm and wet. I was finding it hard to stay still. My body had a will of its own and wanted to move in response to her touches—where ever they might be. "Baby, we're just getting started. Just relax and enjoy this—all of this."

She used her tongue to trace my ear before gently nipping my lobe with her teeth. Something like a moaning—sighing—gasp escaped from me when she did that. I had my eyes closed tightly and I was trying so hard just to focus on what she was doing. I didn't want to forget a second of this. Not only because I wanted this memory to last forever, but I was certainly going to need some ideas about what to do when it was my turn.

I was so caught up in the sensation of her mouth on my neck and ear that I hadn't even realized she had begun unbuttoning my shirt until I felt her fingertips graze the area above my breasts. I pushed myself back against her, wanting---no needing---to be closer. "Easy baby," was all she whispered in my ear. Her hand came down between my breasts and stopped. She must have realized that my bra hooked in the front. I felt her smile against my skin when she recognized it. Except to whisper in my ear, her mouth had been solely focused on kissing, licking, sucking, and biting my neck.

She pulled my shirt and bra off that one arm before instructing me to roll onto my stomach. I was definitely keen on obeying her wishes and did as I was told. She slipped my blouse and bra off the other arm and tossed them to the floor. "They were getting in the way," she said as she straddled my thighs and placed her hands on the small of my back. She slid them upwards, her thumbs on my spine, as she covered my back with her body. I thought to myself, _Oh! My! God! Those are her nipples against my back._ That thought was soon replaced by the sensation of her placing kisses over the expanse of my back. Her hands and her tongue were everywhere at once. She was gradually working her way down my back and moving her body further down my legs. Her hands were on my back one moment and then on my sides the next—tracing my spine one instant and the curve of my breast against the bed the next.

She had reached the small of my back and had worked her hands under my stomach and had undone the snap and zipper on my pants. I knew that she was enjoying torturing me. As I felt her begin to pull my pants down, I instinctively lifted my hips to make it easier on her. Her hands were more pushing my pants and undies down than pulling them down because her fingers ran over my ass, the backs of my thighs, behind my knees and across my calves. Every nerve in my skin was awake and every synapse in my brain was firing.

With the last shreds of clothing removed, Sara was free to touch and taste any part of my body she so desired. She placed her hand on the calf of my left leg and began to slide it up at the same pace she was kissing and sliding her tongue up the back of my right leg. When she reached the spot my knee, I swear it felt like she was French kissing it.

I had to ask. I had to know. It felt—oddly good. Breathlessly, I asked, "What are you doing—there behind my knee?"

Her motions had stopped as soon as I began speaking. But once I was finished with the question, she said, "You mean this?" She repeated the sucking, swirling, massaging action behind my knee.

"Yes that!"

She laughed and said, "If you like it, what difference does it make if I tell you what I'm doing?"

"I want to know."

"Baby, this isn't a play by play. Relax. Enjoy! I'll answer all questions and give you another one-on-one demonstration if necessary once I finish my tour of your body."

I gave up and decided to relax under her touch. She moved up from my knee, across my thigh and gently bit my ass, earning a growl from me. "Mmmm….you like that, huh?" I couldn't respond. She moved back down my body and started up my left leg, once again finishing with the bite on my ass. She continued up, and for the first time, I now noticed, or better yet felt, that she was naked. Somewhere along the way, she had shed her pants. She trailed her tongue up my spine until her body was covering mine. And then, she rolled off of me. I suddenly felt very cold and naked.

I turned to face her and she was smiling. "Come here," she half-whispered, half-groaned to me. I slid closer to her, but not flush against her. In silent agreement, our lips met each other. Our kisses were light and fleeting at first, growing into more sensual, needy kisses as it went on. She traced first my bottom lip and then my top lip with her tongue before barely sliding it between my parted lips. Instinctively my hand went out to touch her, but she brushed it away, holding it at my side. The movements of her tongue were slow and languid—and driving me crazy. She was unhurriedly sliding her tongue in and out of my mouth, mimicking the movements I was on the verge of begging her to make elsewhere. I was quivering in anticipation as she began to suck on first my lower lip and then my upper lip.

I closed my eyes and gave in to the sensations that were quickly overtaking my body. The dam would soon burst, with or without her continuing her ministrations elsewhere on my body.

I pulled back from the kiss long enough to beg. "Sara! Please!"

I must've said the magic word because she rolled me onto my back and straddled me. While we may have been in what I thought was the right position for what I had been imagining would happen for months, Sara was not to be hurried. Like any good scientist, she had a method. Change any variable in that method and you're likely to reach a different outcome.

Starting on my stomach, she raked her fingernails backwards up and across my breasts, being certain to graze my nipples as she moved up. As soon as she did, my hips bucked in response. She smiled down and said only one word. "Soon."

I groaned in frustration and gripped the sheets on either side of me. Sensing my growing need, she claimed one nipple with her mouth and began to tease the other with her fingertips—rolling, pinching, and twisting it to elicit a range of sensations. Her tongue was even more skilled than her fingers, first flicking my nipple, then making circles around it while she had some sort of suction action going on. _Mental note to self—ask her how she did that—it may come in handy down the road._

While she was tending to my nipple needs, she changed her position so that she was no longer straddling my waist, but instead just one leg. I noticed this change immediately because of the warm wetness that was now searing my flesh. She was slowly rocking back and forth on my leg as she was continuing to assault my nipples.

Her face was flush and a sheen of sweat was covering her entire body. I shifted my leg slightly that she was on—lifting it into her. Her pace picked up and a shot of pain went through my body as she bit down on my nipple. As her movements slowed on my leg the pain in my nipple ebbed beneath her kisses.

I looked up at her and, as she had done earlier, could only find one word worthy of being spoken. "Wow."

"I haven't _wowed_ you yet, baby." She slid down my leg and firmly entrenched herself between my legs. She began to kiss and suck on the insides of my thighs. I swear, if I had died right then, I would have said that the sexiest thing in the world was the sight of Sara Sidle between my legs.

She kissed her way to my center and parted me with her tongue. Unable to control my body under the feeling of her tongue, I jerked. She stilled my movements by placing my legs over her shoulders and hooking her arms over my thighs. She could somewhat control how much I moved and could pull me closer to her in this position.

With her tongue, she began a slow licking motion, flattening her tongue against my clit and traveling downward and dipping it inside me. Every time she did that, I gasped. Only her strong grip on me kept me from flying off the bed.

As my breathing grew more labored, her pace quickened. As soon as she sensed that I was on the verge of my orgasm, she slowed down again. She did this several times until I was nearly in tears. "Sara! Please baby! Please….please…" My begging cries were low.

She took one arm off of my legs and as she sucked my clit into her mouth, she slid two fingers inside me. My breathing quickly became ragged, erratic, and labored—all at once. I was mumbling unintelligible things as she slid her fingers inside me, quickening her pace with each thrust. Her sucking on my clit had turned to flicking it with her tongue and soon turned to nothing with her mouth as she was sliding back up my body. Her fingers were still in me, curling forward to rub my G-spot on each thrust and her thumb rubbing my clit as she slid out.

I felt her watching me before I heard her speak. "Open your eyes, Cath." I couldn't. I was trying. But my eyes wouldn't listen to me. "Baby, I need to be looking in your eyes when you cum for me. Please open them."

I could feel my walls tightening around her fingers. I forced my eyes open as my head pushed further back into the pillow and my hips arched further into her touch.

I bit my lip to silence the screams that were right there waiting to come out. With one final thrust and brush of my clit, she pushed me over the edge.

My body spasmed and the room started to spin. I was finding it hard to breathe. I couldn't focus on anything in the room.

"Catherine! Cath? Baby! Are you okay? Catherine!" I could sense panic in her voice. I couldn't speak to answer her. I attempted to nod my head, but I don't know if I did or not. Every muscle in my body felt tense and relaxed at the same time.

She had now pulled me close to her and had wrapped me protectively in her arms and was kissing my cheek and forehead while she whispered soothing nothings in my ear.

After a few moments, I was able to move my arm and lightly patted her on the shoulder as I tried to pull back and roll over. "Are you okay?" I could still sense panic in her voice.

"Bathroom," was all I could say as I tried to stand.

There were obvious problems with the gravitational field in Sara's room as I fell to floor as I thought I was standing. Before I had even realized I was on the floor, Sara was at my side. "Are you okay? Why can't you talk or walk?"

I looked at her and started giggling. "You….you…..wore out……muscles…..didn't know……that I had."


	64. Chapter 64

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I helped Catherine up and walked her to the bathroom before grabbing my robe off the door and slipping it on. I figured we could both do with something to drink before hopefully going to sleep.

I walked straight into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator. I was on my way back to the bedroom, wondering if Catherine would want to sleep or continue our activities, when I noticed someone in my living room and dropped the bottle I was drinking from and the one I grabbed for Cath.

"Sof! What the fuck are you doing here?! Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!"

"So you two finally got it on?" I swear, I love the woman, but sometimes she can be so crude.

"Sofia, please go. I don't want Cath…"

Too late! Catherine came out of the bedroom walking toward me in absolutely nothing other than all her naked glory. She wouldn't see Sofia until she was in the living room so I moved to at least block Sofia from seeing her.

"Sara, what are……SOFIA!" Catherine instantly clung to my back, making herself skinnier than she already was. She was obviously embarrassed as she asked, "Uh, how long have you been here?"

Sofia stood up and walked halfway to the door before turning and saying, "Long enough to know that you're not a screamer. I guess Wendy guessed right on that one."

"ARRGGGHHHH!!!!" Catherine stomped back to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

I walked toward my friend. "Do you always have to be so crude?" I lowered my voice to make sure that she was the only one who would hear what I said next. "This was supposed to be special, Sof. And it was…what the hell are you doing here?"

"I tried calling your cell and your house line. I called Greg and he said that he still had Allie. I was fucking worried about you, Sidle. I knew things hadn't been going like you wanted to Catherine and you told me yesterday that you had told that doctor—which by the way, do you think she's in to threesomes—Wendy told me to ask….anyway, you said you told her you didn't want to see her anymore. I was just worried that something had happened or that you had done something. If I had known you were busy doing _someone_—namely Catherine—I wouldn't have come over. I'm really sorry. I'll, uh, get out of here now."

She opened the door to leave. "Sof, thanks for worrying about me."

"No problem."

"Oh, and Sof?"

"Yeah?"

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll hurt you in ways you can't imagine!"

She wiggled her eyebrows and flashed a wide grin at me. "Mmmmm….don't make promises you can't keep, Sidle. I know for a fact you're not into S&M."

It never failed. As hard as I tried to embarrass the woman, I never succeeded. She wasn't even embarrassed to sit in my living room and listen to me make love to Catherine for the first time. She'll probably go home and tell Wendy all about it. The two of them will probably have sex all over the house and talk about what she heard here.

I slammed the door and locked it, throwing on both the chain and using U-bar lock I installed.

I heard the bedroom door open. "Is she gone?"

I slowly turned and walked toward Catherine. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I had no idea she was out here. I had just noticed her when you came out."

"It's okay. Before shift starts tonight, everyone will know about us though."

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me so I could kiss the top of her head.

"I don't care if people know. Do you?"

She bit her bottom lip. She looked so much like a child—and very much like Lindsey—when she did this. "I don't want people to know."

My face must have shown my disappointment because she was quick to try and explain her answer.

"Not that I don't want them to never know. I just don't want them to know right now. This is all so new. What if things don't work out? What if we break up? What if.."

"Are you ashamed of me? Ashamed for people to know we're involved?"

"Sara—that's not it."

"That's what it sounds like---to me. I didn't see you hiding behind a _what if we break up_ when it came to that Chris slimeball that you dated. There was no _what if we don't work out_ with that engineer Paul. So why is that when it's me, you're worried?"

"Because we work together. Because it took us six years—almost seven—to get here. And because once people know we're together, there will be all sorts of questions and comments. And that will put stress on us. We need to be strong and sure of _us_ before we go telling anyone anything. That's all I'm saying."

"I guess you're right." I couldn't believe I was conceding this argument.

"Of course, I'm always right. Don't worry sweetie. You'll learn that." She said as she turned and walked back toward the bedroom. "Are you coming?"

"Oh yeah!" I rushed right past her and jumped on the bed, having dropped my robe on the floor.

I climbed under the covers and pulled them back, motioning for Cath to join me. "We're just going to sleep," I said as she slid under the sheets and toward me.

"That's fine. I'm going to be occupied trying to think of a way that I can Sofia back for this mess today."

"God, I'd be so happy to see someone beat her at her game. But I gotta tell ya Cath, I don't see it happening. She's so…..Sofia. That's all there is to it. There is no way anyone will be able to one up her on something."

"There is nothing I can't do when I put my mind to it." With that, she put her head on my shoulder and threw one of her legs over mine.

I bent forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Night baby." Within minutes, we were both sound asleep.


	65. Chapter 65

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

It's been nearly a week since Sara first made love to me. I swear, I can still feel her lips moving across my skin. I had expected the first time with her to be all out passion. And it was. It just wasn't the furious passion I had expected. It wasn't sex. It wasn't fucking. It was making love. And I don't think I've ever had anyone make love to me quite like Sara Sidle had. I was so caught up in my memory of that morning with Sara that I hadn't even noticed Sofia standing in the doorway of my office.

"Hello, Sofia. What brings you here?"

She smirked and invited herself into my office, plopping down in a chair opposite my desk. "Actually, you brought me here."

"Me?" I was feigning stupidity.

"Yes, you. I received a page saying that you wanted to see me."

"Oh that! Yeah, I need to talk to you. Woman to woman." I crossed the room and shut the door to my office.

I sat down on the edge of my desk and crossed my legs, making my skirt ride further up my thighs than I would normally find comfortable. Her eyes darted from my face to my legs and up my thighs, and back to my face again. She smiled, not a smirk like she wore when she first entered m office, but a nervous smile. I put my palms on the desk and leaned forward a bit, "You were at Sara's long enough to hear that she was making love to me. Right?"

She shifted in her seat. "Yeah. And I've got to tell you, I'm glad to know you two finally got together. It'll be good for the both of you."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I want to know something Sofia. And it stays between us. I promise you."

"Alright, the best place for toys is that adult store over near the Bellagio." She laughed, thinking that something like that would make me uncomfortable.

"Good to know, but not what I was going to ask. Look, you remember Lady Heather?" I knew that no one could forget Lady Heather.

"Who could forget her? Why?"

"She once made the comment about me carrying myself like a dominatrix."

"Oh, so you're after a leather store. Try Rough Riders over near the Palms. They have the best selection."

I groaned in frustration. "Sara already has leather." I flashed a fake smile. "Let's try this again. I need to learn how to please Sara. I want you to teach me."

She jumped out of the chair and took several steps backwards. I advanced toward her, effectively pinning her to the wall. "You want me to what?"

I stroked the side of her face with my fingertip. "I want you to teach me how to please Sara."

She blushed. "I, uh…Cath…uh..."

"Shhhh. It'll be easy. I'm actually a very quick study."

"I bet you are. But it's not that. It's just that…I'm with Wendy and…"

"She can watch. Or she can join. It's up to you."

"Whoa! Hold on there cowgirl."

"What's wrong, 'fia? Don't tell me you're all talk and no action. That would be terribly disappointing." I trailed a finger down her arm and leaned in close to her ear, "You wouldn't want to disappoint me, would you Sof?"

As I moved to face Sofia, I noticed that she had her eyes squeezed shut. I put my hands on her hips and she jerked. "What's wrong Sofia? Cat got your tongue? If not…this Cat is offering!" Her eyes shot open and she grabbed the doorknob and practically ran from the room.

I was still standing there laughing at her retreating form down the hall when Sara walked in. "What did you do to her? I've never seen her that red."

I shut the door and back Sara up against it. "I was fucking with her. She deserved it. She makes all of these comments and thinks she can get away with it."

Sara reversed our positions as she started to kiss and nibble on my neck. "What exactly did you say to her?"

"Don't get mad. I was only fucking with her. I asked her to teach me how to please you. I even said that Wendy could watch or join in. I accused her of being all talk and no action."

As Sara pressed herself against me, she spoke softly and sweetly. "I hope you know that you'll never need anyone to teach you how to please me. But I love the fact that someone finally got to Sofia."


	66. Chapter 66

**Disclaimer: ** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

"Don't get mad. I was only fucking with her. I asked her to teach me how to please you. I even said that Wendy could watch or join in. I accused her of being all talk and no action." Catherine was explaining to me.

As I pressed myself against her, I spoke softly and sweetly. "I hope you know that you'll never need anyone to teach you how to please me. But I love the fact that someone finally got to Sofia."

Catherine softly whimpered beneath my touches. I enjoyed toying with her. Working her up and then leaving her needing me.

"Cath, what exactly did you say to Sofia to make her run out of the room like a scalded dog?"

"Sara, does it really matter?"

"Hell yeah it matters. I want to know what Catherine Willows said to the too-smug for her own good Sofia Curtis."

She bit her bottom lip and weighed how to go about explaining to me exactly what it was that she had said to Sofia to set her on her heels.

"I asked her if a cat had her tongue?"

"That's all? All you said was, _Cat got your tongue?_"

"I might've offered this Cat to take her tongue." She was shrugging and trying to act like it was no big deal.

I took a step back from her and started laughing. "So you offered to suck face with Curtis? Is that all?"

"I might've said something about her not really wanting to disappoint me."

"Oh this was priceless. I should have been here for this! Of course, you know I have to get her back, as well. There is no way in hell I'll be able to top that though."

Catherine leaned forward and kissed me. "I'm sure you'll think of something, sexy."

"The only thing I'll be thinking of if you kiss me like that again is taking you to bed." The woman could kiss.

Later the next day, Sofia was the detective at a scene that both Catherine and I were working.

I walked over to Catherine. "Sweetie, go along with whatever I say to Sofia, okay?"

She winked and continued working.

A while later, we were packing the truck up with our evidence and getting ready to head back to the lab when Sofia came over to us.

"Curtis, how's it going?"

"Going great, ladies. How are things with the two of you?" Her smugness had returned. Oh, I was sooooo going to have to take her down a peg or two.

"So, Sofia….Catherine told me about your conversation yesterday." Shock crossed Sofia's face. "Have you made up your mind yet?" She was still unable to speak. I stepped closer to her so that Catherine wouldn't hear what I was going to say—even though I'd tell her later. "I've been waiting for this for a _very_ long time. I want to make sure she does me right, ya know?"

Her face was flushed with embarrassment. I turned and pointed to Catherine. "Do you really want her going to bed with me and not know exactly what to do?"

Catherine walked around the side of the truck and climbed into the driver's seat. "Look, I'm even willing to sleep with you—just this once—so that you can teach her _exactly_ what I want."

"Sara, I…uh…this is…."

"I know, it's a lot to ask of a friend. It really is. But remember, I didn't tell Wendy no when she came to me with this same request."

She suddenly found her voice. "What do you mean you didn't tell Wendy no when she came to you with this request?"

"I've probably said too much as it is." I started to walk away from her, but turned around at the last minute, "How was that first time with Wendy?"

Sofia was standing there with her mouth hanging open as we drove back to the lab.


	67. Chapter 67

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Had I just heard Sara correctly? Did she just say that Wendy had come to her before sleeping with Sofia?

"Did you sleep with Wendy?" I was trying to act like it didn't bother me. After all, I had slept with plenty of people before getting involved with Sara.

"Hell no. I didn't even know that Wendy was gay—or that Sofia was gay. I didn't know until Sofia found out about Allie."

"Then why did you say that?"

"Cath, Sof is running on emotion. She'll remember later that I didn't know. I was just fucking with her."

We drove quietly for the next few minutes before I had to ask the question I had been wanting to ask for weeks.

"Just how many people have you been with?"

She smiled as she turned to face me. "I wondered when you were going to get around to asking me that. Do you really want to know?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Are you going to tell me how many people you've slept with?"

I wasn't prepared for her to want to know just how many people I had been with. Hell, I wasn't sure I could even give a rough estimate. "If you really want to know, I'll tell you. But I did ask you first."

Sara sighed heavily before shifting in her seat. Her head was tilted slightly toward the roof of the car and she was touching the tips of her fingers as she mentally counted—and recalled—every sexual experience she had.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye for several minutes and felt the green-eyed monster stirring.

"Jesus, Sara! Just how many people have you fucked!?!"

She let loose an exasperated sigh. "Dammit, Catherine! You made me lose count. Now I have to start all over again. Leslie---she was hot. Tina—not too smart but awesome body. Marcia—don't remember too much about her. Serena—made me laugh. Alice, Kim, Jill, and Toni—that was a wild weekend in college. Mark—the TA—wait, do men count or do you only want the women?"

She didn't wait for me to answer before she continued. "Gail—she was into bondage. Amy—she was way too kinky. Karen—all talk, little action. Kori—she wasn't one for talking. Heather. Detective Secula—her own handcuffs. Julie—you know the story there. Celeste, Kandi & Mindi—first weekend in Vegas. Olivia—police conference. Calleigh—another conference. A few I can't remember the names of and Casey. And now, finally, you."

"You've been with all of those women?"

"Well, in one sense or the other yes. What you have to understand Cath is that I fucked some of these women and didn't let them touch me. Most, I'm ashamed to admit, were one night stands. I've had only two relationships that lasted longer than a week up until now—Julie and Serena. With my past, getting close was never something that was very appealing."

So, she had fucked a lot of women and hadn't let many of them touch her. "So how many have you let touch you?"

"Cath, I don't see what difference does this make?"

"What's the problem with you telling me how many women have had their way with you?" What was the big deal? How difficult was it to tell me how many had done her.

"Two."

Whoa! Not the answer I was expecting. "Of all the women you've been with, you've only let two women touch you."

"That's right. The two I was in relationships with—and that took a while."

Thankfully we were pulling into the parking lot and the conversation was over. We were pulling the kits and evidence out of the back when Sara put her arm on mine. "Is this a problem?"

"I, uh, don't know."

"You don't know if me only letting two women be intimate with me is a problem? I thought you'd have more of a problem with the couple dozen people I'd fucked and not the two who had touched me."

"I just though that there would have been more. What if you don't want me to touch you? What if you don't want me to make love to you?" I'm certain that there were unshed tears of insecurity brimming on my eyelids.

"Cath…there's nothing I want more…nothing I need more…than for you to make love to me. If I have my way, you'll be the last."


	68. Chapter 68

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

I stood there and watched Catherine blush and take in my last statement. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed me on the cheek. Making love to her had been one thing. I knew that. But her making love to me—if she ever did—was going to be an entirely different story.

"Come on, let's get this stuff into evidence and go have breakfast." I grabbed both of our kits and left her with the bags of evidence to carry into the building.

As we passed by DNA, I noticed Sofia talking to Wendy. Wendy's head snapped up as she noticed us walking past the lab. I braced myself as I saw her heading for the door. Sofia put herself between the door and Wendy, but even she was unable to hold a seething DNA tech back.

I put our kits down and turned around just in time to find myself being pushed backwards by Wendy.

"What the hell were you thinking telling Sofia that you had slept with me?"

The usually bustling lab was suddenly silent. I swear I think I heard Catherine blinking—that's how quiet it was.

I put my hands up in mock surrender. "Wendy, I…"

"Just had to go and run your mouth? What ever happened to this being our _little secret_? You probably didn't even tell Catherine about it, did you?"

Catherine had now taken a step towards me, "You said you didn't fuck her. You lied?"

I hadn't lied. But was Catherine going to believe me? "Cath, I didn't lie to you. She's lying. I never slept with her. I didn't even know she was gay." Oh yeah, everyone was still paying attention to this display in the hallway.

I looked in confusion from Wendy to Catherine and past Wendy to a shit-grinning Sofia Curtis still standing in the DNA lab. Catherine turned on her heel and huffed off down the hall. Wendy suddenly wore a smile. "You know you should never fuck with Sofia. She always wins."

I watched as she walked back into DNA and high-fived her girlfriend. Maybe she was right, trying to get even with Sofia was only going to keep me from doing what I really wanted to do—focusing on Catherine.

I dropped our kits off and went in search of Catherine. I came up empty in the locker room, her office and the trace lab. I walked into the break room and found her chatting with Greg.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but Greg, I don't need you to take Allie after all."

Catherine glared at me. "I thought we were having breakfast."

I spoke up, "Not this morning. I changed my mind."

Greg, sensing the tension between myself and Cath spoke up, "I really don't mind taking the little tornado off your hands." He leaned in closer to me, "I know I was just supposed to be the donor, but I'm really enjoying playing _daddy_."

"Whoa, Greggo!" I grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him into the hallway for a little more privacy. "What the hell do you think you're talking about?"

"I was just saying that the original deal was that you and Julie would raise her and I'd be handoffs. But now, the situation has changed. You're single and can't do this by yourself. You've had me, Wendy, Sofia and even Catherine having to step in and help."

"Having to step in and help? I thought I was just depending on my friends, Greg. I didn't realize it was a fucking imposition. You may be Allie's biological father, but I still don't want anyone _playing daddy_ with her—that includes you. And while we're at it, I'm not single."

I turned back around and stuck my head into the break room. "Catherine, get your things. We're picking up Allie and going home."

Without hesitation, she jumped up from the couch where I know she'd been listening to every word I exchanged with Greg and ran to the locker room. I was standing there glaring at Greg when she made it back. I took her hand in mine and brushed shoulders with Greg as we walked out the lab.


	69. Chapter 69

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

I've never been one of these women that enjoy being told what to do or how to do it. And yet, when Sara told me to get my things so that we could pick Allie up and go home, I didn't think twice. I literally ran to the locker room.

There is something incredibly sexy and irresistible about a confident Sara Sidle. I've always seen her as confident and self-assured in her approach to work. I just didn't know that she had that in her personal life as well. Then again, I didn't quite realize that she had a personal life either. I'm not sure I'll always jump when she says jump, but right now, I'm willing to shout _how high_ every time she does say it.

We're in her truck on our way to pick Allie up before heading _home_ as she called it. I just don't know whose home she's referring to. I'm not sure she wants to talk, but I can't stand this silence between us. I reach over and take her hand in mine. "So, Greg, huh?" She nodded her head.

"Wanna talk about it?" I know I was pressing, but I always preferred hearing her talk to seeing her seethe.

She just shook her head. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and relaxed in the seat for the rest of the drive to Sara's overnight sitter.

"When we decided to try and have a kid, we knew we couldn't afford to go through a sperm bank and all that mess. So we sat down and came up with a list of men we knew that would make decent donors. It was all about the genes. Warrick and Nick were out because, well, they were a little too immature for my tastes. Grissom was a possibility but with his hearing problem, I immediately dismissed him. There were a couple of cops I considered, but how I was going to explain the whole gay thing to them. I mean, none of you guys knew—no one except Greg. And when Julie and I talked about it, we realized that Greg would be perfect. He's smart—went to Stanford. Great personality. And he knew I was gay so there would be no weirdness. We had explained to him that we just wanted him sperm and didn't want him to help raise the kid or provide financially for her. He was okay with it and even signed the papers relinquishing parental rights after Allie was born."

It was my turn to speak. "Greg is absolutely the last person in the world I would have suspected was Allie's dad. I…"

"He's not her dad! She doesn't have a dad! You need to understand that. Greg needs to understand that. She was never supposed to have a dad. She was supposed to have a mama and a mommy. That was it!" Tears were flowing down her face. She pulled over to the side of the road.

"Cath, I don't want him to be her father. She's already been confused enough as it is with the relationship I had with her mother. And then the way Julie left her with me had to confuse her again. She understands that her mommy likes other girls. Throwing a guy into the mix would only confuse her. I thought of all people Greg would understand that."

I reach over and took her chin in my hand, slowly turning her face towards mine. "Greg is one of your best friends, sweetie. Instead of getting angry at him, explain it to him like you just explained it to me. I don't think Greg would ever do anything to hurt either you or Allie. It's probably a simple misunderstanding. I'm sure that when he said he was enjoying playing _daddy_, he probably just meant that he was enjoying spending time with Allie. I mean, seriously, Sar, our Greg?"

She wiped her tears away. "You're probably right."

"Remember that, Sidle. I'm sure one day down the road you're going to think I don't know anything and that I'm totally stupid. Just remember that on this one instance I was probably right." I kissed her cheek and said, "Let's go get Allie."

A few minutes later, we had pulled up in the parking lot to pick Sara's little ray of sunshine up. She bounded out of the car and up a couple of flights of stairs. A few minutes later, she came down with Allie in her arms.

As she was strapping her in the car seat, I turned around to speak to her but before words could cross my lips, she was giggling excitedly, "Caferin!!!! I missed you soooo much, Caferin!"

That little girl is such a heart-breaker. "I've missed you, too. And guess what?"

"Whaaaaatttttt?" she said not having to fake her excitement or genuine interest in what I was going to tell her.

"We're going to spend all day together. I'm going to make you breakfast. Then we'll watch some television. While mommy is asleep we might go to the park. We're even going to go to school today to pick Lindsey up."

Her eyes were as big as saucers as I was telling her about my plans for the day. "Wow!"

"Yeah, wow," Sara repeated as she climbed back in the passenger seat. "Cath, you worked all night. You don't have to…"

"And you have to work tonight. I'm off. We'll have breakfast and then you can sleep while Allie and I spend the day together. That is, unless you don't want me to spend time with her."

She had my hand in hers and pulled me toward her as she was driving down the road. When I had gotten as close to her as my seat belt would allow, she quickly leaned over and kissed me. "I want you to spend time with her. She needs to get to know you better—you and Lindsey."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of you kissing me like that."

"You better not get tired of it anytime soon," she said as she cocked an eyebrow in my direction.

"I don't plan on it. And Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you didn't you know what with Wendy. I wanted her to think she had gotten to me."


	70. Chapter 70

A/N: Between teaching and real life, I haven't had time to update as frequently as I'd like. I just spent about 24 hours with my three year old niece. I think I have proper Allie inspiration to write the next few chapters.

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

We're driving back to Catherine's with a bubbly Allie in the back seat. Catherine is still holding my hand but she's having an animated discussion with Allie.

This woman never ceases to amaze me. She can carry on a discussion with a three year-old. She can interrogate suspects. She can take off all of her clothes in front of total strangers. She can intimidate hardened criminals. She can juggle a full-time job and raising a kid.

I wait for a lull in their discussion before turning to Catherine and saying, "Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" She shakes her head, while blushing a slight crimson color. "Well, in that case, I think you're a truly amazing woman." I'm able to grab a quick kiss as I put the truck in park and climb out to unload Allie.

As soon as I open the door to pull her out, she starts singing. "Mommy and Caferin sittin' in a free. Uh…hmmm….Mommy and Caferin sittin' in a free."

"Is that how it goes, kiddo?" I was trying so hard not to laugh at her.

"I can't wememba the west of the wurds."

Catherine walked over, took Allie out of my arms, and kissed me. "I think it goes Mommy and Catherine sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

As Catherine walked towards the front door of her house, she and Allie were still singing. I couldn't help but smile as I saw my two favorite girls walk into the house. I was still standing there smiling goofily when Catherine turned around, Allie still in her arms, and said, "Sara, are you coming inside babe? Or are you going to stay out there all morning?"

I felt a blush creep across my face as I started towards the door. I immediately sought the comfort of the sofa as Catherine began preparing breakfast. I was sitting there watching cartoons one moment and the next moment _I had Cath pinned to the wall. My hands were under her shirt, sliding over her stomach, making her shiver with anticipation. As I lowered my mouth to her neck, she reversed our positions and pushed me roughly against the wall. I whimpered in expectancy as I saw her mouth moving toward my nipple. I groaned in pleasure as she roughly sucked it in between her eager lips._

"Sara. Sara. Sar! Wake up! You're dreaming."

I opened my eyes to find two sapphire orbs peering down at me. "Huh?"

"You were dreaming. At least, I hope you were dreaming. Is it normal for you to whimper and groan and moan in your sleep?"

I was still having a hard time putting coherent thoughts together. "I don't…"

She whispered huskily in my ear, "You don't what, Sara?"

The sound of her voice sent tremors through the lower half of my body. "I don't whimper, groan, or moan."

She leaned in closer, licking my earlobe before making a feral noise that was a cross between a whimper and a groan. I reached up to grab her, but she pulled away. "Breakfast is ready dear."

I close my eyes and slam my head back against her couch. So, Catherine had heard me in the midst of a sex dream—about her nonetheless. Then, said object of dream woke me up and proceeded to _awaken_ certain desires within me. After a few deep, cleansing breaths (and thoughts of Hodges with Ecklie), I moved to the table and enjoyed breakfast with my girls.

Allie barely ate anything because she was so busy talking a million miles an hour with Catherine. I barely said anything because I was still thinking about the dream I had been roused from and about the noise Catherine had made as she licked my ear. Alone, either would be enough to light anyone's fire. Together, well, together the two would fuel my imagination and libido until Catherine _finally_ made love to me.

They were still chatting away as I excused myself from the table, "Well, ladies, as much as I want to sit here and spend the day with my two favorite girls, I really need to get some sleep."

I got up from the table and went back to the couch and stretched out on it. Only a few minutes had passed before sleep overcame me.

Once again, I was roused by Catherine. "Sara, get up. Go get in my bed."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her down on the couch with me. "So you want me in your bed?" I started kissing her neck as I wrapped my arms around her.

"I do want you in my bed, babe. But only when we both have the energy for me to do something about you being in it." She extricated herself from my hold. "Now, get up and get your ass in bed and get some sleep. Up the stairs, the door at the end of the hall."

I'm not sure how long I was laying in her bed with her smell surrounding me. I just know that it wasn't long enough. _Damn mosquitoes. Quiz buzzing around my head. Shoo! _ I slapped at the buzzing pests. They didn't go away. I was diffident to opening my eyes, but I needed to find the source of this relentless buzzing. I was still in the midst of my internal debate when I felt the bed dip under someone's weight.

"Sof is on the phone for you. She said she tried calling your cell, but there was no answer. Want me to tell her you're sleeping?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't. I tried again but only managed a weak, "Jush han me duh phun."

She chuckled. "Not a morning person, are we? Did you want to talk to her or not?"

I reached out and grabbed the phone from her hand. "Sidle."

"So, you're in Catherine's bed. Was she in it with you?" Sofia couldn't help herself, I knew that.

"What the fuck do you want? I'm trying to sleep."

"There's a certain humor to you using the word fuck and sleep in the same breath, don't you think?"

"I'm hanging up now, Sof."

"Hold on, Sar. Sorry, but can you come in now? There's been a break in that case you were working. DNA got a hit and it looks promising. We're going to pick up the guy now and thought you might want to be in on the interview."

I grunted a _yeah_ into the phone before handing it back to Catherine.

I rolled over and buried my head in the pillow. "I have to go in."

She laid across my back and whispered in my ear, "Don't be too loud when you get home. Just climb in bed and wrap yourself around me until I have to get up."


	71. Chapter 71

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Sara had barely managed to get any sleep before Sofia called her to come in. Better than most people, I realize how much her job really does mean to her. But she has a daughter now—and me. She has got to start taking better care of herself or she's going to end up burned out.

I love spending time with Sara's little girl, Allie. I'm sure I would have eventually put the pieces together about who her father was—without Greg's little slip-up at the lab. I see some similarities between the two—not that I'd ever willingly share any of those with Sara. She's so pissed with Greg about his saying he wouldn't mind be a _daddy_ to Allie. But seriously, when she laughs, you can see little Greg in her. She has a wicked sense of humor. Not that Sara doesn't have one, but hers leans more toward dark humor. Allie's is just observational humor—and she's only three. We're going to have our hands full as she gets older.

_We._ I already think of me and Sara as a family. Why shouldn't I? Or am I, as my mother would say, putting the cart before the horse? We've known each other for years. And yet, I've found out more about her in these last few months than I had never known about her. Things I never would have suspected or guessed—like her having a kid and her being gay. I don't know which the bigger shock was.

Lindsey is upstairs finishing her homework and then we're supposed to cook dinner together. I try to do that on my nights off with her. This job has taken away so much of the time I have with my daughter that I want to hold on to whatever time I do have with her. I'm hoping that Sara won't make the same mistakes I have when it comes to Allie.

"What do you want for dinner tonight, Allie?"

"Food," she says as she grins up at me from the floor where she is playing with some Legos I found in the attic last week.

"I know that smartass. I meant what specifically would you like to eat."

Her eyes went wide. "Ohhhhhh. You said a bad word. You said ass. Mommy told me that ass was a bad word. I'm not supposed to say ass."

Catherine couldn't help but smile. "She's right. You shouldn't say ass."

"Is it okay for you to say ass? 'Cause it doesn't seem fair for you to say it if I can't. I'm gonna ask Mommy if I can say ass."

"NO! Don't you dare ask her that. You'll get me in trouble. And quit saying ass."

She clapped her hand over her mouth and pointed at me before saying in a hushed voice, "You said it again."

I sighed heavily. I didn't remember Lindsey ever being this precocious. "Allie," I said to her as I pulled her up into my lap. "You can't repeat everything that adults do. Adults shouldn't say words like ass, but we do. No one is going to spank us or send us to our room if we do. You, on the other hand, missy, will get in big trouble with your Mommy and me if you talk like that again."

"I'm sawwy, Caferin. I won't say ass again." As much as I wanted to be mad at her for using the word to tell me she wouldn't say it again, I couldn't get angry. "Caferin, are you my mommy's new girl…girl…I can't wememba the word." She had the cutest look of frustration on her face. "Are you going to be my mama, too?"

WHOA! "I…uh...hmm…why do you ask that?"

"Cause you kissed her. Do you love my mommy?"

About that time, Lindsey made her way into the living room. "What's all this talk about love?"

Allie grinned at the sight of Lindsey. "I was asking Caferin if she loved my mommy."

Lindsey rolled her eyes before joining us on the couch. "That's a good question, Allie. So mom," she turned to face me, "how do you feel about Sara?"

Two expectant pairs of eyes were pinned to me. _How did I feel about Sara?_ "My feelings for Sara are my business right now. Sara has the right to know how I feel about her before either of you two do." With that, I stood and walked toward the kitchen. "Okay, burgers for dinner. We'll grill them."

I was busying myself with making dinner when Lindsey came in the kitchen.

"Mom, are you mad that I asked about Sara?"

I huffed before responding. "Lindsey, do you like her?"

"I dunno. I guess I do. I mean, she's nice and all. She doesn't treat you like crap—like everyone else you've ever dated has done."

"Then what difference does it make how I feel?"

"Cause I want to know. And don't you think if she thinks something is going on," she motioned toward the living room, "other people will pick up on it, too? I just want to know if you're going to do more than go out with her."

"Linds," I leaned heavily against the kitchen counter. "I care very much for Sara. Do I love her? I dunno. I might. I could. I want to. But I don't know if I do yet. And we're trying to go so slow 'cause neither one of us wants to mess this up. And we're going slow because of you and Allie."

"I don't understand why you have to worry about me and Allie."

"We have to worry about you two because you're our children. You two have to come first—no matter how we feel about each other. Do you understand that?

"If it was me, I wouldn't care how you felt about someone if I liked them."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not you. Isn't it?"

Several hours later, dinner was over. The dishes were washed. And the girls were in bed.

I had been up for more than twenty-four hours. I took a hot shower and sank into bed. I think I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Some time later, I'm not sure when exactly, I felt the bed dip under her added weight. Two arms wrapped around me and pulled me firmly against her body. _Home. This is what home feels like,_ was the thought running through my still slumbering mind as she fluttered kisses against the back of my shoulders.


	72. Chapter 72

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Work was a nightmare. Sofia had called me in after only a few hours of sleep. At least I had managed a few hours. If I know Catherine, she stayed up all day with Allie and then spent the evening entertaining Allie and Lindsey.

Grissom caught me taking a nap in the break room and sent me home, saying that I had been here long enough. At least I have the next two days off. And added bonus is the fact that Catherine has tonight off as well.

I drove home—back to Catherine's. The house was dark, but I managed to find my way up the stairs to Catherine's bedroom. Even though I had only made this trek once, it was familiar enough for me to find in the dark.

I pulled off everything but my bra and panties and climbed into bed beside Catherine. I slid one arm under her and draped the other over her waist as I simultaneously pulled her towards me and myself towards her. I drifted off to sleep as I was placing fluttering kisses against her shoulders.

Sometime in the early morning hours, I found myself flat on my back with Catherine's hand barely moving back and forth across my stomach. I had one arm still wrapped around her and I used it to pull her closer to me. "Good morning, sunshine," I whispered into the top of her head.

"Mmmmm. It's not morning yet." She snuggled in closer to me, draping a leg across my thighs, while still moving her hand across my stomach. I kept my eyes closed so that I could enjoy the sensation of her touch on my skin.

She moved her hand back up my stomach and to my chest, pulling my bra up and over my breast before lowering her mouth to my nipple. I immediately arched into her. Her hand was traveling back down my stomach—moving as slow as a glacier does.

Despite being beyond exhausted, my body was responding to her lingering touches.

Just as her fingers moved beneath the band of my underwear, she bit down on my nipple, eliciting a moan. I felt her smile against my breast as she released my nipple. "I thought you said you don't, and I quote, 'whimper, groan, or moan.' That is what you said last night, isn't it?"

Instead of answering her, I used my arm to pull her on top of me. She smirked at me before kissing me. As much as I wanted to be in control of this—of all of this—I had to hold back. My mind—and most of all, my body—wanted her to finish what she had started. If I pushed too quickly or too hard, she might stop. I was not up for her stopping what she had started.

Her hands slid around my back and unfastened my bra. She pulled it from me, tossing it on the floor. Both hands immediately began massaging my breasts. I grabbed the sheet beneath me with both hands and decided to hang on for whatever ride Catherine was willing to take me on.

Her kiss was slow, deep, and languid. Her tongue was exploring the crevices of my mouth while her nimble fingers caressed, tweaked and pinched my nipples in a pattern that was unpredictably all her own.

She began to shimmy down my body, kissing and nipping along my collarbone. Her hands were moving down along my sides so lightly that I was on the verge of laughing because she was tickling me. She kissed the small valley between my breasts before turning her attention to my stomach—kissing and licking her way to my bellybutton. Her fingers were now hooked in the waistband of my underwear and as she edged closer to them, she began to slide them down.

My hips were moving of their own accord and I'm fairly certain that I heard a whimper. I just couldn't believe that it had come from me.

"Was that a whimper, Ms. Sidle?"

I was biting on my bottom lip and wasn't trusting my voice to respond to her. I could only nod my head.

She had now managed to slide my panties completely down my legs. "I didn't hear your answer, Sara," she said as she kissed her way up the inside of my thigh, spreading my legs at the same time.

I was breathing heavily—rapidly—deeply. I was surprised that I was breathing at all considering that Catherine was firmly planted between my legs. She nipped at the inside of my thigh. "I said, was that a whimper, Sara?"

My response was only another whimper. She moved to the other thigh, alternating between kisses and gentle bites while she dragged her fingernail across my stomach.

"Ahhhhhh…ye…s…. it was….a….uh…whim…..perrrr….."

She traced my folds with one finger, purring as she said, "You're so fucking wet, Sara. Did I do this to you, baby?"

My right hand released its hold on the sheet beneath and sought her hair. I grabbed a handful as I said, "Yesssssss."

"Mmmmmm. I like that I have this effect on you," she said as she parted my folds and lowered her mouth to my clit. Just as I felt her lips close around my bundle of nerves, there was a knock on the door. She froze at the sound of the voice on the other side of the door.

"Mom! Mom! Can I come in? I don't feel so good."

She looked up at me from between my legs, "Sorry babe. Motherhood calls."

I sprang out of her bed and into the bathroom. _FUCK_, was my only thought. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._


	73. Chapter 73

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

I've spent so long trying to work up the nerve to make love to Sara. Knowing that she hasn't let that many women actually touch her is a bit intimidating. And there we were, finally in bed, her naked body beneath me and me finally getting my first taste of her. And there, of course, was Lindsey, knocking on the door. I hated to stop. I didn't want to stop. But I couldn't very well leave Lindsey standing in the hall sick.

"Sorry babe. Motherhood calls." I'm sure it sounded as horrible to her ears as it felt coming out of my mouth.

She sprang from my bed and ran into the bathroom. I'm sure that a small part of it was that she was naked and my daughter was at the door. The biggest part was probably that I had basically just "blue-balled" her. I'm sure I'll pay dearly for this at some point in the near future.

I crossed the room to my door just as I heard the shower being turned on. _Poor Sara. Poor me._

I opened the door and Lindsey was laying on the floor in a ball. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I don't feel so good. I think I'm sick."

I knelt down beside her. "Tell me what's wrong, sweetie."

She grabbed her stomach. "This hurts." She put one hand on her head. "This hurts." She put her hand to her throat. "This hurts."

"Okay, okay. I get the picture. Is there anything that doesn't hurt?"

She slowly shook her head no, before pushing herself up from the floor and running toward the bathroom. I got up and followed her. She was leaning over the toilet. I knelt beside her and held her hair back as I rubbed her back. "Just get it all out, babe." Inside, I was grateful that she had at least made it to the bathroom. The last thing I wanted was to spend any amount of time cleaning puke up from the floor.

Even after she had finished puking, Lindsey lay down on the floor and seemed to wrap herself around the toilet. "Sweetie, you can't stay in here. Come on, get up. Rinse your mouth out and we'll go lay down in your bed." Lindsey reluctantly stood up and rinsed her mouth out. "Here, take some of this." I held up some Pepto for her, which she unenthusiastically accepted. "Now, let's get you back in bed."

I followed Lindsey down the hall and into her room. I pulled the covers back and she climbed between them. Curling up beside her, I rubbed her back until I heard her breathing become deep and regular. She was finally asleep.

I planted a kiss on her forehead before getting up and quietly exiting her room.

Even if Lindsey's untimely sickness had effectively killed the mood, I was fairly certain that I'd be able to get her back in the mood within a matter of moments—if that long!

I opened my bedroom door only to stop short of entering after seeing the sight before me. Sara was doing a dead cowboy impersonation in the middle of my bed and Allie was laying sideways, her feet on my side of the bed and her head on Sara's stomach.

I could only smile at the vision of two of my three favorite girls. I walked over to 'Sara's side' of the bed and pulled the covers up on her. I bent down and kissed her on the forehead before moving back to my side.

I had to move a deadweight Allie to make room for myself. I just slid her up the bed so that she was settled firmly between Sara and myself. She didn't stay in that position long. Within minutes, she had worked herself sideways, once again, and had her feet planted in my side, pushing me to make room for herself.

Instead of pushing the issue with the little one, I decided I'd just make myself comfortable in the bed she had slept in. I walked in the room and was immediately hit with the smell of vomit. Turning on the lights, I saw that the bed had been stripped.

"She got sick, too. I pulled the linen off while you were in Lindsey's room and cleaned her up."

Sara wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me against her. "Motherhood sucks some days, doesn't it?"

I turned around in her arms so that I was facing her, "I am so sorry about all of this. All I wanted was to make love to you and then Lindsey…"

"…and Allie. What exactly did you feed them tonight?"

I was getting lost in the feeling of Sara's arms wrapped around me. Not to mention the fact that she obviously pulled on a pair of my shorts and a t-shirt of mine. Both of which were incredibly small on her. "Hmmmm?"

"I said, 'why exactly did you feed them tonight?' It's a little suspicious that they'd both get sick like this. The puking…that sounds like food poisoning."

"We had grilled hamburgers."

"Hamburgers? You let Allie eat meat?"

"I didn't think it would kill her. Didn't think it would make her sick either. I ate a burger, too. I'm not sick."

"Is there anything they had that you didn't?"

I was trying to go over everything that the girls had eaten during the course of the evening and compare it to what I had eaten. _Shit._ "They, uh, each had a milkshake right before bed."

"A milkshake? Right before bed? You know, Cath, if I didn't know better, I'd say that you were the one pretty new to this parenting thing." Sara pulled away from me and turned around to leave.

"Wait," I said weakly, forcing her to turn around. I moved toward her and quickly pushed her against the wall. My hands meandered their way into her hair and forcibly pulled her lips against mine. My tongue slipped past her two barely partly lips and traced the cavernous recesses of her mouth. I freed my hands from her hair and let them slide down her arms to the hem of the shirt she was wearing. Still in the midst of the bruising kiss, I slid my hands up under the shirt and sought out her breasts. Deft fingers found taut, hardened nipples. I could only smile into the kiss as she groaned in pleasure. I felt her knees start to buckle beneath her at the same moment I felt her hands on my chest—pushing me away.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked as she continued to push me away.

"I think it's fairly obvious," I stated as I pushed her hands away and went for her lips once more.

"Yeah, it is." Sara pushed me away once more. "We both have sick kids that we need to take care of right now, Cath."

This was getting really old—really quickly. "We're always going to have kids, Sara. You have to learn how to work around that. Now. I. Want. You."

"Catherine, we both know it's not that simple."

"What's not simple about you—naked—beneath me—writhing in pleasure over the things I plan on doing to you with my tongue—my fingers—my body?"

She sighed heavily as she continued to hold me at arm's length. "If you touch me now, it'll be because we know we have a little bit of time before either someone wakes up or someone is up sick again. I don't want a hasty fuck from you. I want…no, I need….for you to make love to me."

_Wow_ was my only thought. She dropped her arms from my chest and pulled me toward her. "I _want_ to make love to you," I confessed as I leaned against her body.

"You will. When the time and the circumstances are right. But Cath?"

I looked up into her eyes, "Yes?"

"If you _ever_ get me that worked up and don't finish what you started, I'm going to tie you up and make you watch me finish it myself."

Call me evil, but it might be worth it to do that to her once more if that's the payback.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for being so slack in updating this week. I'm having a hard time deciding just how I want to end this--because the end is coming. And yes, I know, Catherine has to get in some quality smut time with Sara before I end it. Trust me--that's the biggest stumbling block right now.**


	74. Chapter 74

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Sara's POV_

Catherine was taking a nap on the couch when I came downstairs. "Cath, wake up." I was never good at lulling anyone out of their sleep gently.

She opened one eye and then the other. "Did someone throw up on something else? 'Cause I'm not sure I have any more linen in the closet. And I swear, I'm never giving a kid a milkshake again."

"No one threw up on the beds again. And I am really sorry that Allie threw up in your bed. I'll get that comforter dry cleaned." Cath shot me a dirty look. "Anyway, can you keep an eye on her for a little bit longer. I kinda have something I think I should take care of and the sooner I deal with it the better."

"Greg?" She simply asked.

"Yeah. He hasn't spoken to me since the thing at the lab and I can't take it anymore. I swear, if looks could kill, I would have been on a metal slab in the morgue last night. We're supposedly best friends. I can't let this come between us. We're just going to have to work something out."

"Alright then. I'll keep an eye on Allie. Where is she, anyway?"

"She and Lindsey are both in your bed now. They said they were closer to the bathroom this way."

"Great," Catherine muttered as she placed a quick peck on my cheek and hustled up the stairs. "You owe me," she tossed over her shoulder as her feet hit the landing at the top of the stairs.

Half an hour later, I found myself outside of Greg's apartment. I raised my hand to knock on the door, but couldn't bring myself to do so. After successfully pinning my inner demon to the ground for a three count, I knocked on the door. It immediately swung open.

"Sara."

"Greg."

"What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, wanted to talk to you. About Allie."

Concern colored his face as he spoke. "Is something wrong? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Can I come in? I don't want to do this out here."

He moved aside and ushered me into his apartment. For all of Greg's apparent immaturity, he had excellent taste. You might assume that his apartment would look something like a room in a college frat house, but you wouldn't be further from the truth. His apartment looks like the spawn of _Ikea_, _Bed, Bath & Beyond_ and _Pottery Barn_ catalogs.

"You want something to drink? Beer? Coffee?"

"Water, please." I sat down on the brown leather couch dominated the room. Yes, Greg had excellent tastes.

"Here ya go." He handed me a bottle of water before sitting in the chair opposite the couch. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

I could still here the anger that tinted his voice. "Greg, you're my best friend. You know how much I love ya, man."

"Only the love runs a little short when it comes to me and Allie, right?" He was sipping on a beer and propped his feet up on the coffee table that separated us. "I wasn't asking for you to tell her that I'm her father. I wasn't asking you to announce to the whole lab that I was. I was just trying to say that things hadn't worked out like you had planned and that I was cool to roll with whatever I needed to do to make it easier on you."

"Yeah, Catherine told me I had taken it all the wrong way. I want you to understand where I'm coming from in all of this."

"Good. So instead of just basically telling me to fuck off, now you're gonna explain why you acted the way you did the other night?"

"You said that you were _enjoying playing daddy_. Allie does have a _daddy_. She's been through so much, Greg. She was too young to remember me and Julie splitting, but she just had her mom drop her off with me. I don't want to confuse her any more than she already has been. She was supposed to have a mama and a mommy. Her _mommy_ is out of the picture now and wants nothing to do with her."

"But you're seeing Catherine now. What role is she going to play? Is it really fair for her to get to be a part of Allie's life and I'm cut out completely?"

This was way harder than I thought it was going to be. "I don't know what role Cath is going to play—if any. Me—her—us…we're just getting started. I've got no idea how long this will last. What I do know is that I have Allie forever. She's my number one priority. Every decision has to be made with her in mind. I've never had to do that. You know a little something about my past. You know that I always had to look out for myself. Looking out for someone else—well, it's not something I used to doing. And maybe I am going to be overprotective, but…"

"I just want to spend time with her. I probably used the wrong words at the lab. Yeah, I know I used the wrong words. _Daddy_. I'm no one's _daddy_. I can settle for being Uncle Greg. Uncles are way cooler than dads are any day of the week."

I couldn't help but laugh at his observation. "Yeah, uncles are way cooler. I'm sorry, Greg."

He got up, put his beer down, and sat down beside me on the couch. "We cool?"

I put my arm around his shoulders, "Yeah, we're cool. I do have a favor to ask though."

"Damn! Already?" He smiled at me and winked. "Whatever you need, you know I'm your man."

"Well, last night—this morning—Cath had finally…"

"Oh really?" He was wearing the biggest shit grin he had ever had on.

"Yeah, anyway. Lindsey knocked on the door."

"Ouch! That had to suck!"

"Yeah, no fucking kidding. Anyway, she was sick. Then Allie got sick."

"A virus maybe? Are they doing any better now?"

"They were still sleeping when I left the house to come over here. Anyway, I was wondering if you would…"

"Sar, I would, but I've got to work tonight since both you and Catherine are off."

"Oh fuck, that's right. Damn, well, okay then."

"Hey, next time I'm off though, I'm happy to keep both of them so you can get it on."

"Don't be so crude. I prefer to think of it as having my world rocked, anyway." I winked at him and stood up. "Well, I guess I should get going. I told Cath I'd be back soon." I hugged Greg and made my way toward the door.

I was walking out of it when he said, "Sar?" I turned to face him. "Thank you."


	75. Chapter 75

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Catherine's POV_

Only moments after Sara had left to go over to Greg's, I was on the phone with my sister.

"Nancy, I need a favor. A HUGE favor."

I explained to her about Lindsey and Allie both being sick. I hedged when it came to why exactly I needed her to keep the kids for me.

"Why is Allie with you?"

I was torn as to what I should tell Nancy. She was my sister, after all. Eventually, I would tell her about whatever was going on between me and Sara. Now just didn't seem like the right time.

"Does it matter why she's here? She just is. And Sara is over at Greg's and I have something to take care of."

"Does this something involve Sara?" Why would my sister ask me that? "Lindsey already told me about the two of you. I have to admit, Sis, I never thought you and Sara…you know?"

"Me either. I'll tell you all about it another time. Right now…"

"Ewww….please don't tell me all about anything. You can keep the details to yourself. But as for the kids, I'll be over in a few minutes. Lucky for you I don't have a date tonight—or tomorrow night—or the night after that…"

"Great! See you in a few."

Immediately after hanging up with Nancy, I dialed Sara's cell.

"Sidle."

"Hey sexy. Look, instead of heading back here, I'll meet you at your apartment."

"Why are we meeting at my apartment and what about the kids?"

"Nancy is taking care of the kids. And you'll understand once I get there why we're meeting at your apartment."

I was impatiently waiting by the door when Nancy pulled up in my driveway. I was walking out the door as she walked in. "Kids are in my bed. Take care of 'em. See ya tomorrow."

I didn't even give her time to respond as I jumped in my car and sped away in the direction of Sara's apartment.

As soon as I arrived at her apartment, I jumped from my car and ran the flights of stairs up to her apartment. Breathless, I knocked on the door.

After seemingly forever, she answered the door. As soon as she opened the door, I was on her like white on rice. She managed to kick the door shut as I wrapped myself around her, attacking her neck with my lips. We hadn't yet left the foyer of her apartment and I had her pinned against the wall.

"Cath…." I wasn't leaving her much time to speak as I kept going from her mouth to her neck.

I moved my mouth to her ear, "Let's take a shower."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to her. We began to kiss deeply and passionately as she walked us toward her bathroom. Once there, we slowly began to undress one another. For me, it was like I was a kid and it was Christmas morning and I was trying to savor the opening of the final gift under the tree.

I unbuttoned her shirt and slowly slid it off of her shoulders. She grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. We began to kiss again as each of us wrapped our arms around the other to undo our bras. Our motions imitated each other as we pulled back from our quasi-embrace, fingers hooked in the shoulders of each other's bra, pulling them off and letting our fingertips graze whatever flesh was available to us.

I lowered my mouth to her breast and sucked her nipple hungrily into my mouth. She took one of mine between her fingers and began to pinch and roll it at the same time. I bit down on her nipple, making her pinch mine harder. I began my way up her chest to her neck and my hands worked on her pants. She did the same. Each of us shimmied out of them.

She was the first to speak. "I need to turn the shower on," she said as she reached in and turned a few knobs, filling the shower with a warm, wet mist. After testing the water with her palm, she climbed in and offered me her hand.

I took it and was pulled under the water with her. At first, all we did was kiss and let our hands roam over each other's torso. I'm not sure when she did it, but somehow, Sara managed to grab shampoo and started washing my hair. All I could do was lean against her as I felt her nimble and agile fingers work through my hair. I swear that was one of the most comforting things I have ever experienced. Shortly, her attention turned to the rest of my body as she began to wash me with one of the scented body washes that she indulged in.

I closed my eyes to enjoy her hands moving over my body when I felt her hand slide between my legs. She backed me up against the wall of her shower (a very cold wall despite the warm water—and the heat we were giving off) and started to kiss me as she slowly teased her fingers between my folds. I tried to say her name, but I was cut off by the persistence of her kiss. I resigned myself to her touch as I felt her fingers enter me. My head fell forward onto her shoulder as she set a steady pace, sliding in and out, always hitting my clit with her thumb just right as she slid inside me. It didn't take long for me to tumble over the edge. As I came, I couldn't help but bite down on her shoulder. Sara growled in response and instead of just holding me there while I gathered myself, she started to pump in and out of me with greater speed and force making me cum for the second time in only minutes. I collapsed against her and managed to eke out a barely audible, "No more." I could feel her smiling against my neck as she continued to kiss my neck and shoulders.

"You," she began to whisper in my ear, "should dry off and go get in bed. I'll be out in a few minutes."

I could only nod in response as she held my hand as I climbed out of the tub. "Towels are there on the counter, babe."

I was in the bed trying to decide what the sexiest position to lay in was when the bathroom door opened and there stood Sara—in all her naked glory.

I crawled toward the foot of the bed on my hands and knees. As she moved closer to me, I sat up on my knees and placing my hands on her hips, I pulled her towards me.

_No kids. No interruptions. No turning back now._


	76. Chapter 76

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

A/N: Here it is folks…the end—I think.

_Sara's POV_

She crawled toward the foot of the bed on her hands and knees. As I moved closer to her, she sat up on her knees and placed her hands on my hips, pulling me towards her.

She began to crawl backwards up the bed and I silently followed her. We fell down beside one another and she began to kiss me—focusing first on my neck—nipping from my collarbone to my earlobe. I could feel her smiling against my flesh as I growled in response to her touch.

Like no one before her, I was certain that she would know exactly _where_ to touch me. She would know exactly _how_ to touch me. She would know exactly _when_ to touch me. She would know exactly _what_ to do to put me over the edge.

She rolled me onto my back and moved to the foot of the bed and began to kiss her way up my body. Her hands ran up the outside of my legs as her tongue ran up the inside of my thighs. She kissed over my hips and planted soft kisses on my stomach as she let her hands travel up to my breasts. She made lazy circles around each nipple with her fingers as she continued to kiss and nip at my stomach and sides. Soon, her fingers were replaced with her tongue as she ran her tongue around the edge of a nipple and leaned back and blew across it, a smile playing at the edge of her lips as she clearly saw how quickly it hardened under her attention.

She briefly made eye contact with me before taking one in her mouth—just between her lips. With the lightest touch possible, she began to move her tongue over my nipple, half licking it, half flicking it with her tongue. While one nipple was obviously and thoroughly enjoying the attention of her mouth, Cath began to roll the other nipple lightly between her thumb and forefinger. A soft moan escaped my throat as I felt myself begin to move beneath her. Our bodies were perfectly matched with one of her legs between mine and one of mine between hers.

She covered my mouth with hers. Lips barely touching lips. She moved her knee harder into me, and as she did I slowly parted my lips and allowed her tongue to explore my mouth. Her hands moved to either side of my face. My eyes were closed as she moved her mouth to my ear and whispered, "I want you."

Our mouths once again met in a kiss. This time it was passionate and fiery. She began to move her body against mine, causing us both to softly moan our pleasure. Without notice, Cath broke our kiss and shimmied down my body, trailing kisses all the way down to the insides of my thighs.

Knowing that Cath was so close to where I desperately needed her caused my desire to burn even greater. She began to lightly nibble and kiss the insides of my thighs before moaning, "I want to taste you, Sara." I groaned in anticipation at the thought of her mouth on me.

Everything began to move in slow motion. I could feel her gently part me with her fingers, unhurriedly moving her tongue from my wet center to my clit. Cath skillfully and knowingly teased my clit with her tongue. Her professed inexperience never showed. She alternated between flicking it with her tongue and drawing circles around it. One hand was lying on my stomach. I could feel myself beginning to move beneath her touch. Even through the hand lying on my stomach, I'm certain she could feel my muscles contracting.

She broke her contact with my throbbing center as she purred, "Mmmmm….you taste so good, baby." She began to gently suck on my sensitive clit as she slowly slid two fingers inside me, setting a slow and steady rhythm. With each stroke in, her fingers were straight and firm. But on every stroke out, she bent them forward, search for that spot which would send me over the edge.

I was barely whispering her name as she played my body like a skilled musician. After several minutes, I could feel my impending orgasm. I'm certain she could feel it, too. My body clamped tightly around her fingers. She withdrew her fingers and moved even further down and began to slide her tongue inside me. This immediately elicited a cry of pleasure from me and she continued fucking me with her tongue. One of my hands was now firmly gripping the hair on Catherine's head and pulling her even further inside her. I was having a hard time controlling my body as my hips moved in unison with Catherine's tongue. As another (and then one more) orgasm subsided, Catherine began to move back up covering my body with her own. A fine sheen of sweat was covering both of our bodies.

I, as Cath was soon going to find out, was not satiated yet. She had made love to me. Now I wanted something more--_feral_.

Catherine soon found herself being flipped over onto her back. I managed to swiftly flip her over and straddle her, all in one motion. "I liked that, baby. I really did. But I want something else now. And I prefer being on top when I let you fuck me," I said hungrily to Catherine. With that, I grabbed Cath's hand and guided it back inside me. I began to ride Catherine's hand, and reached over her to the headboard to steady myself as I fucked myself on her.

As one orgasm rolled into a second one, I collapsed against her in sheer exhaustion. After a moment of collecting myself and catching my breath, I rolled off of her. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was obviously very satisfied with herself. A huge grin was plastered across her face. I'm certain that she'd have that on for the next few months.

"So?" She asked, obviously eager to find out how she was.

"I have one question for you," I said as I looked into her eyes and went from smiling to wearing a serious expression. "Are you sure you've never done this before?"


	77. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** see chapter one

_Lindsey's POV_

Well, despite everything I tried, my mom and Sara ended up together. I know a lot of people thought I was a total bitch toward Sara and that I deserved to have my ass kicked for the things I said and did. I like to think I was just making sure she was good enough for my mom. I mean, come on, how many jerks were in and out my mom's life—including my dad?

They were all after just one thing. She'd been hurt a lot. And frankly, I was tired of seeing that happen. Sara—well, Sara turned out to be different. First of all, she didn't take my shit. That says a lot. And the fact that she was willing to walk away from my mom if I had a problem with the two of them being together meant a lot to me. Most people would have either just not cared about what I thought or would have done whatever was necessary to get me to like them long enough to get my mom in bed.

It's been a little more than a year now since they've officially been together. We all live in one house and having a little sister is a bigger pain in the ass than I ever imagined it would be. She's always going through my things and following me around wanting to do everything I do. In short, she's driving me nuts. I think my mom and Sara planned this. Other than basically being a living, breathing, walking shadow for me, Allie is okay. I'd never tell my mom, Sara, or even Allie this, but I love her to death.

It's weird how my mom and Sara worked together for so long and were never more than friends until Allie came along. I guess we should all be grateful that Allie's mom left her with Sara. If she hadn't, chances are that my mom and Sara would have never gotten together.


End file.
